Reclaim conversation! The preparation to restore the art of communication.

We do not know the art of conversation any more. Without even being aware, we’ve actually moved away by technology from real communication in a way that it is hurting our interactions. Some people are even afraid of conversation. 

A couple of months ago I bought and studied the book “The art of communication” of Thich Nhat Hanh. Reading an article of sociologist Sherry Turkle, who studied 20-years the impacts of technology on how we behave alone and in groups, brought me to the idea that the first step to restore the art of communication is to reclaim conversation. Most people are not even ready to understand the art of communication.

Face-to face conversation is the most human and humanizing thing that we do. It’s where empathy is born, where intimacy is born. Real communication has everything to do with eye contact, hearing the tones of another person’s voice, sensing their body movements, sensing their presence/energy. It’s where we learn about other people.

Today’s communication technologies more and more are an addiction, a kind of drug. We think we cannot live without them anymore. They give us an idea we will never have to be alone, that we will never be bored, that we can put our attention wherever we want it to be (having the ability to escape the situation we are in or to escape ourselves), and that we can multitask, which is perhaps the most seductive of all.

Actually allowing yourself a moment of boredom is crucial to human interaction and it’s crucial to your brain as well. This periods are used by our brain to replenish, to calm and to purifying the mind. It is even dangerous for the mind to have a constant high stimulation that our phones give us.

Don’t be anti-technology. Be (more) PRO face-to-face conversation. Just be aware our technical devices, like smartphones, are killing real conversation.

Face-to-face conversation:

1.     Increases the quality of what you talk about

2.     Increases the emphatic connection that people feel toward each other
3.    Shows mutual respect for each other

Live in greater harmony with your cell phone. How?
The picture on the right shows how NOT to live in harmony and not to reach conversation. 

Create ‘sacred spaces’ – like the kitchen, the dining room, the car - that are ‘device-free’ and set aside for real conversation. Don’t bring your cell phones to breakfast, lunch and dinner. Make meals a time when you are there to listen and be heard.

Allow for those human moments, accept that life is not a steady “feed,” and learn to savor the pace of conversation—for empathy, for community, for creativity.

Open and willing to reclaim conversation? Just do it!

Make (more) space for face-to-face conversation in your everyday life.

Then take the next step to restore and live the art of real communication (again) and be surprised of the connection it will bring. Your capacity for empathy, introspection, creativity, and intimacy certainly will grow.

(thanks to the insights of the article of Sherry Turkle)

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com