Today in
this blog two experiences of different understanding of the meaning of ‘holiday’.
What is holiday for you?
A couple
of months ago I did a mindful communication café with a family. A Russian
father, Ukraine mother and their two young children, a boy and a girl. A
wonderful insight appeared.
The parents
work and the family lives in Bangkok. Once a year they bring a family visit to
Russia and Ukraine. The children see their grandparents again and they like it.
In the
communication café the daughter wanted to talk about what holiday is. She
shared her experience that even during holiday, especially her father, did not
have holiday or spend enough time on the family. She thought it a strange
experience to nearly never see her father because of his work in Bangkok and
being in Russia he is only working on the house of her grandparents.
The
dialogue gave her the inside that her father really experienced holiday because
he was with his family together, they spend wonderful evenings and meals and
working on the house of the parents was a relief from him. Helping his parents
with fixing some things on the house because they were to old to do this things
by themselves and they did not have enough money for all this things to hire a
company to fix it for them. The father told the family he really enjoyed his
holiday. Having time to have all the meals of the day with the family together,
no disturbances from work, enjoying to see how the children and his wife
related to the (grand)parents and the country life. Spending long evenings with
the children and the family on chats and taking care together of the animals at
the farm.
Just as a
kind of automatic response, a kind of ‘the light switched on’, the daughter said
to her father she never thought about this. She explained now she understood
there are two kinds of work. One you have to do for money, a kind of must. The
other one to help other people out and to relax and connect. It made her even
happy (and it created some tears in the eyes of the father and mother).
The
second story just appeared here one week ago.
Children
want to play. Totally normal, I think they need to play. So what happened… some
children from guests, although the garden Labyrinth as a sacred place shows
signs it is not a play garden for children, ruined the Labyrinth.
It made
me angry. Especially because parents do not take care of their children.
A father
came to my house and told me: “Sir, because of you my son is crying now.”
I
replied: “Your son let me cry.”.
I
explained him the meaning of the Labyrinth. That I spend half a year free time
to build it. That it’s a sacred place for meditation and that there are all
signs around it to tell (even in their language) this is no place for children.
His son was digging holes in the walking path so that does not make me happy. I
think children have parents to take care and guide their children. Isn’t that
their responsibility?
He told
me they were having a holiday and wanted to spend some quality family time
together. He apologized for the damage and told me he did not see it. I know, I
told him. You were sitting next to the labyrinth, totally focused on your phone
and even talking to it. He responded telling me this was something important
from his work and my last answer was: Do you call this quality family holiday
time…?
What is
holiday for you?
Frans Captijn
Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.
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