How small and easy things make happy and truly connect.

Happy niece Namo and happy Frans

The family of my girlfriend lives in Surin near the border of Cambodia. This part in Northeast Thailand is also called Isaan. Isaan and especially the province of Surin is the so-called rice barn of Thailand.

Just before Christmas my girlfriend flew back to me again from her work in Bangkok and immediately after Christmas, by car and with dog Kadhow, we drove 900 km to her house there. To celebrate last change of the year.

The language is slightly different (another dialect with a lot of Khmer (Cambodia) influence). The environment is not comparable to where I live in Chiang Mai and the hospitality ??? More than great.

And this Mr. Frans always have to do something and still has problems sitting still. Discovering the environment with my girlfriend as a guide, taking pictures, the city (incredibly busy because everyone who works in Bangkok visit his or her family here again for New Year) and breathing in the family atmosphere. As a highlight, a family dinner at a luxury restaurant the day before New Year ’s Eve with, yes, karaoke. Just to become acquainted with that area in which she grew up, studied at primary school, high school and university, and her family. Interesting and also instructive to see and experience.

And nevertheless ... dealing with that sitting still.

At some moment we visited her sister's house. Her sister and brother-in-law are both teachers at different high schools and ... rice farmers. Hard work and little private time. They do not know Christmas holiday here. Only free a few days around the turn of the year. And they used that time this year to paint the inside of their house. The niece of my girlfriend (Namo, 14) was also painting the walls of her bed and study room. Looking at that… I could not only watch that activity. So ... started to paint as well.

The same moment, cooking started. Starving from being hungry here in Thailand ... no way. It’s just ‘normal’ part of that hospitality.

When niece Namo learned from her aunt that I had studied constructional engineering and architecture, she asked me how she could make things in her room a bit more cozy and if I could help her with that. Although studying English this was not easy for her to ask because, as she said, she was very shy. 

Well, I think and feel slightly different about that shy. For me it's a bit typical of this culture and the so called ranking system involved. She is in a Muay Thai boxing group and with her red boxing gloves she often shows good and proper action. 
Standing in her room I got an idea and as a surprise, together with my girlfriend, we drove to a Home and construction store around six o'clock on New Year's Eve. No problem. Shops open till nine pm. There we bought some things, all together not too expensive, to dress up her room. A mirror, a painting, a tin of paint, a ceiling lamp and a lamp for her nightstand. Just to create a little bit a different, more cozy, atmosphere than before.

Back at her sister’s house I ‘renovated’ a couple of hours. After finished, on New Year’s Day, she was allowed to open her renovated room with her parents and also her friends from school came to see. They visited her and had a small New Year party. She finished painting the walls of her room by herself already.

When she closed her bedroom door, standing inside her room, I asked her if she wanted to stand in front of the full length mirror that I fixed on that door. I told her the time of being shy was over and asked her, every day when she got up to stand in front of that mirror and to look at herself. I taught her to be proud and to encourage herself with the sentence she not only could believe but even trust: "I am a fantastic and beautiful nice girl, I am not shy, I can do it and I will show it to the world around me today again". A little tear in her eye showed her emotion and she showed more than happy.

A little later I got a creative paper cut and paste work from her. "Happy New Year 2019. To: Uncle Frans. Thank you for your gift to me on my new year 2019. From Namo. "

And that gesture in return caused me a tear and made me a bit emotional.

How simple can it be?  And to do this kind of things together for each other, that smile and that tear, does do me even a little more than that common gift to the temple.

A nice start of 2019.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

captijninsight@gmail.com