Because I
had a small collision with that woman’s female partner, now she has broken the
"friendship" with my daughter. How social, "social" media
can be that you can do this invisibly.
My
daughter was a bit surprised about it. I do not know the phenomenon
"unfriend" because I have said goodbye to all those
"social" media for years already. So whatever happens there does not
bother me anymore. It supports me in keeping peace of mind.
The
question occurred to me if it is really possible to unfriend someone. Of
course, I know that that is just a matter of easy and without even notifying
the other person pushing a button. And yet ... do you really say “Goodbye, you
are not my friend anymore” to someone?
I have
had more than a thousand "friends" on every individual social media
that I was once connected to. A few weeks before I said goodbye to all this
social media like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, I posted a few times that I
was going to stop with them. Actually, that decision was not easy to fulfill. It
seems to me that all this social media likes to see you coming, but I don't
like you to go at all.
I didn't
get many responses from all my "friends". Indeed, a number but not of
the whole large group of so-called friends. Incidentally, that also applies to
all kinds of groups and clubs of which I was a part of during my business- and
private life. A handful, and I literally mean that, real friends are still
left. "Out of sight, out of the heart," my mother sometimes said. And
I discovered it is really true. Mind you, this of course has also to do with
me.
And from
that experience back to that to “unfriend” again in this blog. Were or are
those people who "unfriend" you really your friend? What is actually
a friend? What is friendship?
Wikipedia states:
Wikipedia states:
“Friendship is
a relationship of mutual (generally non-sexual) affection between people. Friendship
is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than association.
Although
there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place,
certain characteristics are present in many types of such bonds. Such
characteristics include affection; kindness, (love), virtue, sympathy, empathy,
honesty, altruism, loyalty, generosity, forgiveness, mutual understanding and
compassion, enjoyment of each other’s company, trust and the ability to be
oneself, express one's feelings to others, and make mistakes without fear of
judgment from the friend. Friendship is an essential aspect of relationship
building skills.”
And if
you take a moment to look at these beautiful sentences, you can conclude that
unfriending is not possible at all. A person who “Unfriend” you after all never
had a real friendship with you. It was often only about ‘what can or will be in
it for me?’ and/or wanting to belong to something or a group that no longer
fits. Unconditional? All these wonderful words mentioned under the meaning
of friendship by Wikipedia? Not true! This ‘friendship’ was just a sham, fake. Be
happy the person who unfriend you secretly let you know now because he or she
looked in his or her mirror. The friendship is not over. There never was any
friendship at all.
And if
someone’s opinion or attitude to life does not appeal any longer to you, or the
other person lives too far away from you… by unfriending you show the other
person this friendship from the start actually always had nil value for you.
Suffering
about this or this kind of thoughts that will keep you from sleeping? Don’t be
stupid. Let it go. And ... well as the passed away French-Dutch singer and actorRamses Shaffy sang so beautifully ... Let me! Let me go my own way.
Note: Interested to listen to this song? The link to You Tube offers you the song with English subtitles.
I am going
my own way for years now. And if "friends" no longer appreciate this
om me…? Take the chance to unfriend a friendship to show this friendship for
you actually never was really there. It doesn't even have to be in a sneaky way.
My neighbor often talks about her Facebook 'friends'. I sometimes have to laugh a bit about this. In practice it worked out at the time she really needed them, they were not available for her to help...
My neighbor often talks about her Facebook 'friends'. I sometimes have to laugh a bit about this. In practice it worked out at the time she really needed them, they were not available for her to help...
Be proud
and happy with that handful of people that you can really regard as friends.
Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)
Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)
Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.
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