Captijn Insight Thailand

Thursday, October 29, 2026

Freedom in bond. Don't change yourself

I met my present wife over eight years ago, on-line, both using a dating app.

Not a shame, in my opinion, to meet other people who are in search for a relationship this way. I am not a 'bar-type' and, knowing myself, I think for me it's not the right place to meet the right one for me here in this country.

And indeed it's a bit hard to find people that are honest and with the right intentions on these platforms. But, a couple of them are there as well.

Before I met Phatsamon, I dated with a couple of other ladies. Most short experiences. After three negative experiences for me it was enough and I wanted to give up. My children encouraged me to go on.

Things you all share with each other in your profile and during chats on paper or during face-time online are nice as a 'starter'. To learn each other better you need to meet each other face-to-face soon after a good feeling on both sides.

At the age of 61 (and Phatsamon 41) at that time you are not teenagers anymore, so soon after our first online 'distance' experiences we met in Chiang Mai.

Dating in this culture, soon you discover for many Thai ladies, is all and nearly only about money. Once, very short, I met a lady (my third experience) who wrote me after only a couple of weeks: "Money first, love can grow later". Not my way of being happy to 'invest' in a further or deeper relationship.

Another big thing here is jealousy. It seems to be totally normal and accepted but I cannot live with it. I got two experiences that ruined to go on learning each other better. Actually great because it brought me to Phatsamon.

Especially I think at an older age, you cannot change yourself. You even need to ask yourself if it's good to ever do that for or in a relationship or for whatever reason else. Reason to write this blog.

My insight is: A relationship need to be "Freedom in bond".

When I express that during a conversation I always get the question to explain what the meaning for me of that sentence is.

Once I heard that if two lonely a bit 'desperate' individuals find each other to have company to feel better, this never works out well to be more happy.

You need to feel and be alone (all one) first. Loneliness is something else than being all-one. Ever thought about that?

And indeed, being and feeling all-one can be lonely or many times but still...

Basically the meaning of all-one is you need to be stable and happy with yourself. You need to know yourself, your body, mind and if possible your mission, and yes you still can learn and discover more. You need to accept (love) yourself and able to take care of yourself in the first place. That's not an egoistic thing.

Why not?

Ask yourself, if you do not take care of yourself at the first first place to be healthy and happy, how it is possible to be there for another and share in the best possible way.

So, if you are stable yourself in these things and you feel the time for you is there, you can start to open up and find another in the same situation. It secures energy draining. You both share and exchange inspiring energy without 'risk' of personal energy disturbance. Let's face it, you did not have the intention to get energy in return to 'heal' or recharge.

Finding the 'right' one with the same intentions you start sharing from two sides to each other. Seems to be romantic flow and be sure this does not work out this way at every moment but... in general this needs to be the fact.

This all comes with trust and, years ago I talked about this already, you cannot trust for 99.9%. You trust or you don't trust. 99.9% trust is NO trust at all.

So, a relationship with jealousy, my opinion and experience, finally does not work. Better not to start with it.

Many people think in a relationship you need to have the same interests, maybe even hobbies or sports and thoughts for the right match. I think it does not not make a relationship very exciting because you diminish exploring things.

Having a different opinion about things, with respect to each other, makes the world wider and colorful.

'Freedom in bond' in a relationship says together you are and trust the safe and stable shared harbor. Knowing that you are and feel still free to live the life you personally prefer although in respect to and being open to the other partner.

My insight is this way of being and living together helps both partners to grow, explore, enjoy and reach higher levels of happines.

Frans Captijn (Gangey Gruma Báisjá)
Ban Na Sam, Na Bua, Mueang Surin, Surin, Thailand

email: captijninsight@gmail.com
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Blog (Dutch): http://franscaptijn.blogspot.com
Blog Building process: https://pyramidhousethailand.blogspot.com
Blog Captijn Insight (English): http://captijninsightthailand.blogspot.com

Captijn Insight.
Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work (again).

Tuesday, October 13, 2026

Just standing still for a short time in this running world.

At the moment we are in Mae Rim (Chiang Mai). We still visit the place a couple of times a year to relax, enjoy the company of some friends living there. Just having a good time.

The last couple of years Mae Rim turned into a kind of Bangkok-II. The center is exploding with new facilities. Actually I cannot really understand why.

Everywhere around there are houses and is land for sale but not a lot of movement. Many houses unoccupied. In my opinion tourism is on the way back as are expats. Many places we once happily visited in our surroundings are closed. New shops and venues there come and after a short time also go/close again.

The center, busy, busy, busy with a kind of ongoing rush-hours of traffic and traffic jams to and from the city center of Chiang Mai. Many U-turns are closed and It's nearly impossible to cross the road anymore.

New in Mae Rim is "The Kad-Farang" (Market for foreigners).

An area full of all kind of different new shops and the so called famous brands of shops you find everywhere in the world to drink coffee, eat chicken or pizza's. Soon another huge supermarket center (Lotus) will be opened to offer and sell even more.

The area is really full of, one after another, screaming attention seeking shops to invite you to buy, buy and buy. Wonderful commercials and 'sales' to temporarily make you 'more happy'. Also great places to show yourself walking with a 'brand' shopping bag, making selfies and share your 'high-so' happiness on 'social' media.

It brought me to write this blog.

The energy, for me, is not right. Actually it makes me sick because it's just all too much an overkill of running and disturbing marketing. Maybe my experience has also to do with a higher way of sensitivity I got for it during my work experiences, the courses I followed and the 180 degrees changed lifestyle I made.

Marketing/attention screaming, just in general and looking deeper, turned into a clever way of temptation and even scamming.

There is no time of 'standing still', of mind relief, anymore in many people's life's. These times are stolen by ongoing promotion/marketing. Successive stimuli demanding your attention that shift ever more rapidly, keeping your mind in a state of agitation. It has become a disease. We don't give space to our mind and brain anymore to 'breath'. Unknowingly we entered an ongoing flow of brain 'multitasking'. Damaging the quality and attention on and of our work, our life, our family and our relationships.

Ever thought about the idea that an average person, unconscious, is exposed to roughly 4.000 to 10.000 marketing messages and advertisements daily across digital and traditional platforms.

Conscious or active exposures are a few hundred. All inviting us to buy and consume more to make us temporarily (more) happy and actually making us fatigue.

After I got my burn-out in the year 2010, from one of my doctors I got the advise to daily go for a kind of 'meditative walk' in a natural environment and to stop several times in between just and only to observe.

Not really my thing at that moment in my running life where I had a responsible job, lot's to do, an ongoing loaded agenda, a private driver, etc..

I thought it was normal to always be available and run. I was 'used' to it and not even thinking of any different approach. And most of all I felt important and needed.

A meditative walk and especially sometimes standing still? A waste of time...

On the other hand, I felt I needed to follow that advise.

Really a hard job I can share with you now. Actually, with many people knowing me in the area I lived before in The Netherlands, I even felt guilty. I had a government job and people paid their taxes also for me to get a good salary. Another thing was, being away as the 'captain of the ship' of my organization felt terribly bad and 'impossible'.

But... finally I succeeded. On a regular base standing still and only observe without judging calms you physically and mental down. It's just a matter of exercise.

By the way, what helped and still helps me in this process is photography. The art of observing and focus.

This picture with the squirrel I made drinking coffee, relaxing without influence of any device, on my balcony. If you stand still, you offer yourself things that already are there or just are willing to appear to become visible and to amaze.

Standing still gives you some time to mentally 'breath' and to create some space in between all the ongoing most times unasked impressions.

It supports your health, and you create space and calmness to realize that happiness and appreciation is not about running more or buying more. You start to appreciate what, most times, already is.

What do you really need to live a happy life? Indeed, at least your basic needs. After that most things that sustainable support happiness don't cost you a lot and many times are even free.

Just an insight and thought; Grant yourself on a regular base some time to stand still in your running world. Not a waste of time to keep you healthy, fresh and aware.

Thursday, September 24, 2026

Update 3 (of 3)

January 26, 2024 Phatsamon and I married by law and had a small party to celebrate.

Main step 3 of the process was to create our main house.

We are living in it now for over a year. It really offers a private space for the two of us including our dogs. Yoga & meditation I/we practice at the first floor Sala. Most of the time our dogs accompany me upstairs.

For our family, friends, guests we offer our amazing pyramids for short stay. Our TED's offer the small central meeting area and our (in the near future) big garden, with pond, island and forest, the place to relax outside on our private property.

For this third step we again asked (and got) all kinds of legal official government permissions. Just to follow all the Thai laws and standards related to our process. And not at least, not to worry for me in relation to do all the construction work by ourselves.

As one of the pictures below shows, we got checks of the immigration and local government. Happy we arranged everything right and in the Thai legal way so everything worked out to be fine.

During this next (third) phase, step by step our 'livestock' of animals expanded (very sadly by thrown away young animals by people living around here). Most 'girls' because they give 'problems' in the village in 'reproducing'.

So first we found six weeks old thrown away puppy "Singto". After that we got three kittens "Benjaa", "Chamnong" & "Damrong". We found two very young puppies "Baijka" and "Taffy" thrown away against a wall next to the provincial road through the village. Then a kitten thrown away by a man driving a scooter "Meechok". Last but not least, around two month ago, a stray kitten we called "Boinki". (To see pictures of them all from that time (Dutch Blog) click here).

So all together now, our livestock counts four dogs and five cats. The cats so far living at a big room at my mother in law's house in our village. End of the year these five will be living at our place.

At the moment we are creating the carport annex catio.

Next steps will be:

Creating the sun-blinds and rain protection around the house.

Placing the outdoor Thai kitchen.

Installing a good quality fence around the total land area just for our animals to be free to walk around so they will not disturb people passing by or wildlife.

On the lower part of the land (present around 7000 m2 rice-field) dig a big pond with a small island in the middle to create a small sala to relax.

Create a forest area with walking trails to offer the magnificent birds some place to live in peace and to have some shadow.

Possible get some water buffalo's to walk around free in the area as well.

We stay in the mood to live on our own private and peaceful place. A good 'escape' to stay healthy in the ongoing changing in our opinion more and more negative energy in the world around us.

Our ideas can change and will never stop. It's a matter of being happy, healthy and strong enough to go on creating new and, in our opinion, nice things in freedom.

First floor Sala space

Wednesday, September 9, 2026

Update 2 (of 3)

After creating the work and structures mentioned in the former blog, we got government permission to build our two guest pyramids.

We created them as comfortable, energetic and peaceful guest rooms for my children, some family members, and (bicycle) friends.

After the first pyramid was finished, we changed our temporary living place from the shipping container to the first pyramid for around two years.

To get a full picture impression click here.

April 20 2022 we got another dog, puppy Cupid, a daughter of Phatsamon's mother former dog, named Joke.

Still going strong, doing on a daily base very early in the morning my around one hour yoga & meditation combination. First at the veranda of the shipping container/TED's. After that at the entrance area of our main house and already half a year at the first floor special created sala above the entrance of our house.

Animals always around us. Great energy to be honest and... indeed... sometimes disturbing as well ;).

Building permission step 2 (pyramids)

Kadhow & girl Cupid best friends.

Hard to exercise in the morning in front of the TED's

Temporary exercise space in front of our main house

Monday, August 31, 2026

Update 1 (of 3)

As promised, a quick update first. Parts of this story are already in earlier published blogs but just to make it easy to 're-connect' again.

I had to stop working at The Pavana Chiang Mai (holistic wellness) Resort, before The Spa Resort, because it closed it's doors. I felt and still feel very sad about that. Working and sharing insights and talents there with so many, often returning, international guests and groups made me really happy. I still feel energy connection with many guests I was able to work with.

I met my, nowadays, wife Phatsamon on a dating site while I was still working at the resort. She was born in Surin, North-East of Thailand 900 km away from Chiang Mai, but lived and worked that time in Bangkok.

After I lost my work at the resort, we decided to create a small private spiritual place at one of the four pieces of land in Surin she got as a gift from her parents. Together with my biggest friend that time, dog Kadhow, we chose the one Kadhow felt the most happy and comfortable energy. And he was right!

It is a plot of 9.372 m2 rice field land (about 52 x 180 m). My girlfriend’s dad, over ten years ago, heightened about 2.250 m2 of that plot for about 2 meters with good soil. This heightened land looks and feels as a kind of terrace above the lower rice field. A pond of about 400 m2 is part of this raised area.

Monday March 2, 2020 we got building permission for the first part (Knock down home / temporary living place / shipping container) of the process. Also my name was added on the landpaper paper of Phatsamon. Not to get owner of the land (for a foreigner in Thailand that's never possible) but to get legal lifelong use of the land. The place also got a formal address.

First things we had to organize were electricity and water for our place.

Because our chosen land (ricefield with permission to build) is about 500 meters from the village, we had to organize electricity input (lines) by ourselves. At December 31 2019 we got the first electricity poles to our land.

Short after that we got our own private 5 inch, 60 meters deep water well. We created a "control-room" with electricity switch boards, pumps, water storage and a generator for basic energy supply in case of a power-break, all already ready to serve every building we had in mind.

After that we designed a shipping-container on stilts as our temporary living area and created a veranda at the east side.

At present this place is our TED's (Talk, Eat and Drink place). The bar, relax and breakfast area.

To get and keep the right energy, directly after having water, electricity and our temporary place to live, we created a "Petit-Chartres" labyrinth (opened October 4 2020) in the garden and a campfire place.

As usual the entrance of the Labyrinth is at the East-side. At the West-side we put the, in my opinion, beautiful Buddha bust. This bust origins from Indonesia. It travelled to my house in The Netherlands, after that to Chiang Mai in Thailand and now it's final location is at our place in Surin.

Kadhow, September 2019, crazy happy discovering and 'choosing' our land.

Building permission on my (Frans) name and including my name
at the land paper of Phatsamon to make it for me legal to
build (work) on our own land on a retirement visa.

Situation January 2024

Present TED's

Note:

I think all my guests still remember my friend Kadhow, he sadly passed away on May 15 2025, because of a terrible and unexpected blood disease at the age of nearly 13 years old.

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

After more than 5 years back again

It took over five years to start up this blog again. And...

Here we are again!

June 4, 2021 we took a time out because of several reasons.
The main reason was we started our building process to create a private small spiritual center in Surin Province, Thailand.

I am happy and thankful still several former guests I worked with as a life- & talent coach and meditation/Kundalini yoga/tantra teacher stay in touch or only once asked or mirrored me something related to their private situation they were or are in.
Some only asked or replied on their personal outcomes working with 'The Game of Gifts' (discovering talents and life-mission) or their Numerology session.

Don't get me wrong, these contacts are not 'regular' stuff at all, but it's heartwarming people still know to find you for some personal reason.

The Spa Resort / The Pavana Chiang Mai resort where I worked, till now on, closed its doors. So, I could not and was not allowed to work there anymore and lost my work-permit and work-visa.
Still I am happy living and retiring in Thailand but now in Surin province.

Together with, now, my wife Phatsamon, I picked-up my basic profession as an architect and constructional engineer.
At a nice piece of land, Phatsamon got from her parents we started to design, calculate and develop our ideas. After all formal permits and permissions, she stopped working in Bangkok to become a daily 'construction worker' with me.
We created (building as meditation), as the only two workers, our plans.

During the years we regularly shared our progress and hick-ups at our 'Pyramidhouse Thailand' blog (link below).

Not a project but an ongoing process that, till for whatever reason we cannot work anymore, will never end.
The main buildings, although we use them all already, will be totally finished in around three quarters of a year.

We called our private place (location see link below as well):

"Pyramid Retreat Thailand, Surin"

Going on with this blogs again:

I don't intend to write blogs on a weekly base anymore.
Depending on construction workload, experiences, inspiration and insights, slowly, I will share my thoughts again.

As everywhere and for everyone, a lot of changed appeared in the last couple of years. So also with us.
So the next few post of the new series of the "Captijn Insight Thailand blogs" I will share some more explanation of our place here, the changes of our lives, living with all our animals here, and other things that happened. All just to 'close' the information 'gap' a bit of the last years you possibly have.

I promise you, I keep you posted again.