Friday, November 9, 2018

Do not open Fridays and Saturdays received letters during the weekend and control your email movement.

Mail, both letters and email, can disturb your mood. Especially during your well-deserved weekend you got to recharge your energy. Ever thought about that? And of course the content of your received mail can have both a positive or negative influence.

Last week, once again, I was remembered of this by someone from the Netherlands and someone from Germany. Many negative feelings came back again.
I would like to share with you how I have arranged my dealing with (e)mail after past experiences. Not as the ‘Columbus egg solution’ but perhaps to make you think about it and take some action to get even more control back over your life.

Unfortunately, in the nineties I was in a tedious and long-lasting, sometimes harassing, process of divorce. Nothing unique so to say but still. And when I listened to the stories of those two persons a lot of things came back up again about how I experienced that time and how things often still go. Distractions of your weekend, interruptions of night's rest by ... yes mail.

Perhaps I think too negatively by saying after this experiences nowadays, it felt like a sort of conspiracy theory. Usually I received again another thick letter from some legal firm on Saturday morning or I received an email on Friday afternoon. As if included in the curriculum of the legal profession to make the 'weekend enjoyment' as a special ‘additional gift’ bad for the 'opponent' of their 'client'.

'Curiously' you open the messages and… your weekend is ruined. That free time you got just to recharge is being occupied with thoughts, anger, disbelief, and so on. And not only during the day, especially at night.

And of course it is not just and only about the legal profession. I am sure you know several examples from your personal experiences.

Once more this is another aspect to take control back about how you want to live your life. And yes, directing your mail and email requires some discipline. You need to learn to get rid of your addict behavior to read and respond directly. Actually I was amazed, better to say positively surprised, about how quickly my outside world was used to my different way of dealing and approaching my (e)mails. I even get a lot of nice and positive reactions to it.

I would like to share my personal approach as an example with you.

# First of all, I open letters that I receive on Friday or Saturday only on Monday.

# I also took my email movement back in my own hands. Not directly replying as an addicted routine anymore but reading and responding only two times a week.

If people send me an email (both related to business as well as private) they will automatically receive the following message in English and Dutch:

Thank you for your message.

Please note:

As I continue a “digital fasting and detox” program, I live life and enjoy engaged face-to-face connections (and conversations) with people, friends and nature even more. 

That’s why I check my emails only twice a week: Monday and Thursday mornings before noon in Thailand (GMT+7).

If necessary I try to respond within two days after your email is read.
Thank you for your understanding and have a nice day.

Frans Captijn

Till today, this two actions contribute to more rest and almost no disturbance of my generally very nice weekends.


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Management without soul engagement. How to completely destroy a company or organization within a year.

To run a business you must be competent and skilled. In high school I learned that, economically speaking, you run a company to make optimal profit. In my opinion at least one side of the coin.

More and more, in the business and increasingly disconnected world, we can discover that soul engagement, customer contact and so-called after-sales (customer satisfaction) are elements that are needed to keep customers happy with the product or service they are paying for. It lowers the threshold to come back to you again and thus the continuity of your company.

Management therefore not only requires a business sense and knowledge but also passion. Soul engagement and commitment, a belief in the product, knowing what you are doing, knowing the purpose and value of your contribution, embracing the work environment (culture) in which you work and sincere involvement. Not only running for and collecting the money as the main goal.

In management terms, this requires a proper mix of feminine and masculine (Yin Yang) qualities in relation to the company you want to run or the product or service that you want to deliver. And if you run a company as a team, you have to be flexible in that team, speak the same language and complement each other where necessary or desired instead of competing. Keep your eyes and ears open and adapt your behavior to what is necessary or required for the ‘overall’ at any time.

From the sideline I experienced how, in my opinion, because of lack of knowledge of the unique services of a to me dear company, lack of understanding of and dealing with culture difference, lack of management teamwork, developing a culture of fear and especially the lack of soul engagement, a beautiful company in one year completely stranded and was destroyed.

Motivated staff turned their backs to the management and company. All returning individual customers and groups left. Negative mouth-to-mouth 'recommendation' makes a relaunch, if at all possible, hard at least not under the same name. The firm is for sale again ...

Soul engagement is something that really counts and if you know how to deal with, running a business can be a feast that provides energy, customer relations and money in a decent way. Very different from managing something that has been declared dead in advance due to the lack of it.

Sad to watch this dying process as an outsider.


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 26, 2018

The poverty of wealth

At the beginning of October I went six days with my friend Kadhow (my dog) by car from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and Pattaya. A period to celebrate a wonderful long weekend with my girlfriend.

We had booked a beautiful bed and breakfast adjacent to Bangkok city where Kadhow was more than welcome. A villa in a location between the city and the sea (Gulf of Thailand). Well better said a villa in a kind of green zone as part of this mega-sized metropolis. A unique experience to suddenly come to an oasis of peace from the extreme hectic on the busy Bangkok Friday afternoon. Rid of people crawling like ants in the streets, not outcast from noise.

The sound of 'very large birds' that left the international airport, sometimes it seemed nearly touching with their wheels the roof of the villa, kept us awake for a while. For Kadhow it felt like a long rehearsing New Year's Eve. Super early in the morning that same kind of big birds, yes even Dutch nationals in a KLM Boeing behind the windows, arriving.

Accustomed as I am getting up early I felt happy to go for a walk with my dog. Place enough and lots of new smells for him to discover. Both he and I incidentally had to regularly sneeze because of the air pollution that was sprayed over our heads every about two minutes and came over us from the ongoing heavy traffic from the city nearby.

In the green zoned spacious villas one even larger and more luxurious than the other. On the driveways car brands like Lexus, BMW, Porsche and Mercedes. Large high walls and heavy ornate wrought iron fences as entrance gate. At the corners of the walls around various villas security camera systems and even private surveillance. The 'park' itself already had surveillance so this was even extra and thin over.

Kadhow did not care. It was quiet on the street only the regular aircraft noise. Perhaps inside he had to laugh, walking with a big curl in his tail, because his pet-friends were looking at him from behind the fences and barking at him. He freely walked around happily. Not a single roommate coming to smell his ass.

It made me smile. What a poverty actually to have and want to live in this 'wealth'. In many cases only a fantastic 'success show' that says nothing about real happiness. Which, by the way, does not mean that these people may not experience optimal happiness in their own way. But to be able to celebrate this type of happiness every evening and night in a kind of prison… Happy for me not my way.

After the weekend I brought my girlfriend to Pattaya and together with Kadhow in two days I went back to Chiang Mai. In the evening I arrived safely after a nice driving adventure of about 2300 kilometers.

The next morning I woke up ... yes, by birds. This time smaller species that whistle their morning tunes. A big green scenery of the mountains and fresh air, especially at the end of the rainy season. No, indeed no sea in the neighborhood. I do not have a large villa either, no walls and a large steel ornamental fence and ... 'only' a Mazda not even on a private driveway.

What a wonderful long weekend the three of us got. Rich and worth repeating. Rich, yes, certainly at home. Grateful and without any reason to have to secure and build a wall around my ‘wealth’. No status, no position, just being myself. Experiencing happiness and enjoying life without stress, fame or the hunt any longer for success.
Something that I am extremely grateful for.


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.


Friday, October 19, 2018

No ‘bucket list’, no big wishes, any longer.

A couple of weeks ago I joined a fieldtrip with some other expats living here in Chiang Mai.
At a certain moment the talk was about the bucket list we still have in life and our wishes and desires.

If you are not familiar with it, a bucket list is a list of activities someone wants to do before he or she dies. It is a list of things a person wants to do before they "kick the bucket". A wish list.

To many persons surprise I told the group my bucket list is empty. No goals, no big dreams, no wishes any longer. Not at all saying I have had enough of living life. I am still enjoying and am happy if I can go on with it. 

Not having this list of things I want to do before I die gives me a lot of peace and rest. I am living and enjoying by the day. Small things. Just normal and spontaneous meeting people, walking around in nature and being aware of the magnificent energy, practicing the art of watching with my photo camera, being happy with the daily contact with my children, enjoying being together with my girlfriend if she is here, enjoying the company and playfulness of my dog, drinking a beer or wine, this kind of things.

Walking around in the forest I made a picture of this spider. Wandering this animal is also just willing to wait for the things that come. If he likes it he comes into action, if not, he leaves it alone. And he (or she) is sure every day will bring something. It is just the awareness of a change of tension in the web. Actually like fishing or hunting. Aware, at ease, and present.

Enjoying the day and being thankful and grateful every day again to get this new opportunity.

No striving, no running, I got already more than enough magnificent things in my life. And yes, I am willing and open to receive more but if not… it is all OK.


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.




Friday, October 12, 2018

Expect death and enjoy even more what life really is all about. What is the point of life?

It seems that my friends and acquaintances leave this world at an ever faster pace. Of course that has to do with my aging and maybe I should be happy in some way that I can still read the memorial messages.

Certainly after my decision to early quit my work, quite simply because I could not do that work after a heavy burn-out any longer, my life developed deeper in value and significance for me. I live and enjoy day to day. It is a change in attitude that helped me to feel fulfillment now nearly every day. What matters for me is consciousness and its content.
Regularly I tell people; "I no longer have medication for high blood pressure. I can only remember stress. And if the sun does not rise for me tomorrow, whatever other people think of it, then at least I have lived life the fullest.'

For me, the deeper value and meaning of life certainly has to do with the fact that the theme 'death' has taken a normal and conscious place in my life. Just like birth is part of it. It is nothing you have to push away. By being aware of it, I automatically put a lot more emphasis on things that really matter in my life and I enjoy living life even more.  

The statement that I often see on mourning cards and in mourning advertisements of he or she died 'completely unexpectedly' made me think last week. How can you die completely unexpectedly? Isn’t is an established fact? Actually you cannot even expect it, you have to count on it. And of course I know how it is meant, but it is not a bad idea to look at it and to contemplate on it in a literal way during your life time. It can be a mirror to enjoy LIVING life more and you may be less concerned about all the things that are bothering you so much. Do they actually really matter and worth consuming your night rest and energy?
Stop wasting your life away. Ask yourself if you really, from your inside, care about the right things.

Birth and death belong to the life circle. As is sometimes nicely expressed, they are 'inextricably connected’. Nobody can escape from it. You will, very sure and do not possible to escape, pass away. High or low in 'status' (I increasingly laugh about it), 'poor' or 'rich'. And although you can insure against it (actually strange because it is not a risk but a fixed fact), the curtain falls at any moment and you cannot take anything with you. You came with nothing and you leave with nothing.
Be prepared and aware of it so that you can make much easier choices in your life. Choices that make lighter and freer like the butterfly on the picture. Choices that you may enjoy, if you are honest with yourself, more.

Death is certain. The moment is not fixed and that makes it popular for others to say it was ‘completely unexpected’ to face actually always expected death.
Ever thought about the fact that after today your life is already one day shorter? That is also common to everyone. No escape. And how long that life is ... For most of us that is still unknown and it only does not seem to be in sight yet. The practice can be different and deceive.

In my experience it helps to live in a way being aware you do not die unexpectedly and that the moment always and soon can be there for you. For me it is a support to be even more thankful enjoying the value of life. Mostly not being disturbed any more by things that in the past bothered me a lot.

Expect death and enjoy even more what life really is all about. Maybe ask yourself: "What for me is the point of life to experience fulfillment?". You still now have the chance...


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Happy New Year 2057. You cannot start celebrating your hundredth birthday early enough.

Government and pension funds tell us that we are getting older. We therefore think that we have to work longer because that is the idea that is suggested and stimulated. After all, you have to do more and more and much longer to achieve the deadline of a full pension.

Feeling convenient with it, we do not even think about the idea and personal decision to stop earlier with working and start with doing earlier things we want to do (more) that are even dearer to us. Commerce and marketing, after all something has to be earned by others as well, are happy and already willing to offer us a ‘helping hand’ in the process.

By chance I discovered a New Year's wish for 2057 on the internet. The year in which I hope to become 100 years young. And although I am at least, so far I feel today, healthy I think it is a bit premature. However, this 2057 New Year’s wish strengthens me in the spirit of the saying: 'Hope springs eternal', so that's what I like to do.

On the other hand…, who knows with all the ups and downs of this stressful and faster digital time, the government at a certain time will adjust its vision downwards.

So therefore, every day coming a step closer towards my one hundred years (or who knows even older) birthday, I already started to celebrate by the day.

In my opinion you cannot start early enough to already celebrate your hundredth birthday. And now that I am still healthy I can already toast from day to day on a, indeed rather prematurely, and by the day more realistic, happy 2057.

And for that matter, for my two kids, I found the New Year cards for their 100th birthday too. I think they should have even more chance to reach it than I do.

Happy New Year 2057? Come on. Happy day!

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.


Friday, September 28, 2018

What actually is thinking and why do we do it so often wrong?

Recently I read in a book:

“Thinking is the decision to observe and to understand, even if one is disturbed by him/herself or the others.
Thinking eventually wants to listen - to the primal sound, the prehistoric history."
Master Taisen Deshimaru

On a daily base there is a lot going on in our heads. We consume more and more information in an ongoing increasing faster pace. We barely do relax our mind, and most people do not understand the art of being able to control and even to temporary let go of their thinking processes.

When I read the quote from Taisen Deshimaru, yes it was a reason to think about our thinking process. Material for thoughts and insights I would like to share in this blog. Maybe it makes things clear and both you and me can take advantage of it.  

What is thinking and why is our thinking process so often wrong?
Thinking has first of all to do with making a decision. A decision that we sometimes consciously and mostly unconsciously take.

A decision to observe and understand. Nicely said and actually for most of us impossible. We are simply not (or maybe even better to say not anymore) able to observe without judgments. And that's where it goes wrong very quickly.
The 'even if one is disturbed by him/herself or the others' has everything to do with it. Our programming since childhood prevents us from ‘only’ observing. We observe from a basic attitude what the situation can offer us (often in relation to our wishes) or how threatening it can be. Not from a free and impartial attitude. So understanding never can be pure. We can (and want to) understand things as long as they fit in reaching our goals.

And as far as those ‘others’ are concerned, everything has to do with what we think others maybe will or can think of us. With our thinking, we are basically always alert on what we think is our outside world social acceptance. Pffff what a lot of thoughts and what an energy consumption in our heads. And does it really support us?

Our thinking practice is therefore not a free process of observing and understanding. Our programming determines the direction and often it turns out that if you keep thinking how you always thought, you always believe what you always believed. You stay in your vicious circle and everything happens to you how it always happened to you…

Free as a butterfly, without judging, observing and trying to understand, makes you listen to your soul. It allows creativity from the soul to show itself. You connect with that primal sound, that prehistory.

Listening to what actually is your purpose in life. No, that is not selfish or egoistic. It is the call of the soul to follow and live your mission. And eventually you make yourself and the world around you the most happy and ... not a single hair on your head have to think about it. It’s a free going with your inner flow.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)



Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, September 21, 2018

Despite adversity, the emphasis on LIVING life. Enjoying day to day.

Literally and figuratively we will not let ourselves be creased. We enjoy day to day, go out, concerts, cabaret, movies, next week a one week holiday in Germany. My own relaxation / hobby is also adequately covered, so if we keep it up for a while like this, not really something to worry about. Others may find that we have to sit in sackcloth and ashes, but we will NOT do that! "

A part of text from an email from a former colleague and still good acquaintance that I received a few weeks ago.

Strolling with my dog, Kadhow, in the at this time very humid forest I thought about how grateful I have to be. I am healthy, at least that's how it feels and I just take it for now for granted. My body works as it should. I can feel the humidity of that forest, the amazing energy, the temperature. I can hear those fantastic birds, frogs and other animals and I can point out the direction where all those different sounds come from. I can smell the fresh air and smell of budding flowers. What we popularly call 'green' actually shows to be a large pallet of thousands of green colors here. What a variation. I walk up a hill and I notice that my breathing and heartbeat are only slightly adapting to this mounting. Happy to be still fit enough not having to go to a gym for that. Not too bad for someone of my age. I feel the connection, thoughts and love of my two kids and my girlfriend even though they are not with me and my dog in the forest. Bending my knees without any problem when I take steps. If I want to stand still my body will ‘just’ and ‘automatically’ stop. I learned in this country to stop my thoughts for a while and only focus on what I want to concentrate on and the sensations this brings. Isn’t it a miracle everything functioning well? And what a beauty to connect.

And if something in the body suddenly and unexpectedly does not work well, after all for instance you always can hurt your back, then immediately your focus is on that hurting part of your back and not at all on everything else that still works fantastic. The body is only giving you a warning signal. A miracle as well. Not telling you, you need to stop enjoying the rest of your experiences. And it’s just how you deal with your mind about what you give the most attention. And again, everything you give attention grows…

The former colleague, or rather the couple, of the passage above from their email to me have ‘the right’ to complain and "resign themselves". They have to deal with various stubborn forms of cancer and Alzheimer in their life. And again… where to put the emphasis? They still focus on living their lives in the most positive and happy way.

A lot of enjoyment from day to day has to do with where you place the emphasis in your life. On what you can do or on the temporary, long-term or always 'handicaps' that occur in your life. And yes, I am still healthy and that makes talking this way maybe easy.

This couple shows that through a change of mindset, to focus on what still is possible instead of what is not possible any longer, you can consciously fully enjoy what makes LIVING life really important and gives valuable content and satisfaction.
Their way does not fit with letting themselves down or sitting in sackcloth and ashes.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, September 14, 2018

A little more iron will help you get rid of your tiredness? Don’t make me laugh.

A few weeks ago I received an email from a good acquaintance. In that email, among other things, he wrote:
"I do not feel well and am very tired. I've had a few medical checks in recent weeks. Fortunately, the results were good. Only an iron deficiency has been detected, but that can be solved easily. It may explain my tiredness."

I had to laugh about it and wrote this to him. A little more iron will help you with your fatigue? It is good that the iron deficiency has been recognized, that at least provides a firm basis for working on this. Problem solved. I do not believe in it. You made and make yourself more and more tired and therefore step by step more and more sick. A daily tablet of iron does not help you. There is something structurally wrong. What is the real source?

Of course, a lack of iron can be the cause of tiredness don’t get me wrong and yet there is often a lot more going on. In recent years I have come across too many people with their stories that show that they are not only exhausting physically but certainly mentally. Unfortunately, a little extra iron on a daily base does not help to get rid of that exhaustion.
And the fact that he believes in iron can be the solution (or actually does not believe in it himself) is already clear from the sentence that it only ‘may explain’ his tiredness.

We often take too much and too long all kind of weight on our shoulders. Willing to care for everything and everybody and forgetting our self. We spend a lot of time on 'serving' the systems in which we function according to our ideas and, above all, to keep everyone around us happy and satisfied, not to stand out by deviating from our programming.
Satisfying others. Most of the time only showing the 'successes' (?) in our relationship, raising of our children, job, career, and so on. Not being honest to our self and not at all really satisfying ourselves and our real personal needs to be happy. Consuming lots of energy.  
The result is that we do harm ourselves and with that we make ourselves more and more ill.

Suffering of chronic fatigue? Look deeper to find the real causes. For that you need to bring the focus to and within yourself. To be honest in discovering the ways you behave and set up in relationships with others and perhaps most of all the relationship with yourself. To observe the way you hurt yourself and do not hear the voice of your soul (your Self, your inner wisdom and that playful child in you), let alone listen to it and follow it.

Become silent, make contact with yourself, listen.
Are you still in flow or do you have so many things that you only forced yourself for whatever reason to do that you have ended up in a fight with yourself? Do not set your personal goals to please the environment unnecessary too high.

What the purpose of life is, is that you exhibit your uniqueness with the exclusive set of talents you got at birth. That is called flow and not a kind of sadomasochism and absolutely does not feel like a fight. It provides a healthy tiredness of body and mind that in a life in balance in a natural way and on a daily base is restored.

No iron needed for that. Only the choice to go back to your source and your flow.


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, September 7, 2018

The unhealthiness of using food supplements.

The world of healthy food supplements is growing. Nowadays it’s big and booming business.  
Marketing tells you, you need them. These most of the time very expensive and lifelong needed extras should keep you healthy and prevent you from all kind of most serious diseases.  

Wonderful and great health and recovery stories. Well trained and mostly commission driven sellers / consultants They all help the growing popularity of the continuing use of food supplements. A wonderful way to earn a living and doing business. They start with promoting and selling their family and social media ‘friends’. Easier to start because they do not want to disturb the relationship telling they are not interested.
You want to live a long and happy life? Use food supplements!

Who am I to tell you if this additions are healthy or not? I do not know, am not a specialist in this, so who am I to judge about that? The craziness, for me, is the food supplement industry actually support people to go on living an unhealthy lifestyle.
Why do you need food supplements? Just let’s face it, because as a basic thing and source you live unhealthy. And to solve that problem the food supplement industry supports you to go on living in an unhealthy way and offer their products to help you to believe you can close the ‘gap’ in unhealthiness with using their products.

Marketing campaigns in a creative and popular way most of the times even create feelings of fear of possible future unhealthiness and sickness. Encouraging to buy their food supplements. Offering the ‘magic’ way to become or stay healthy going on living unhealthy.

Going back in history, people had a much richer and often more balanced lifestyle, diet and natural fitness. If they did not feel well, yes, there was a kind of temporary supplement, a herb or other treatment. Proved and known by former generations and grandmothers.

If your main goal is to live a happy and healthy as long as possible life, think about and work on changing your lifestyle in a holistic way first instead of adding ‘healthy drugs’ as a kind of additional ‘fast food’. Be more aware of the things you eat, your diet. Keep body and mind healthy and fit in a natural way. Maybe even visit and connect with nature even more. And yes this can take you a bit more time but for sure it saves you lots of money.

Your body has the capacity to restore and recover by itself if in general you live healthy. No supplements needed.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, August 31, 2018

The very best way to your successfully ‘aging process’ slow down.


What do you do better now, than you did when you were 25?

A question we got during our last held Expats Club meeting in relation to the topic ‘Aging’.

A couple of times already I shared my thoughts in a blog about my ideas about aging. About what marketing makes use of to encourage us to buy products to let us only believe (what a joke) we can stay forever young. And about getting younger by the day.

In relation to aging we first give attention to our physical body. A healthy diet, fitness and yoga. More and more we start to understand, many times because of influences of the East, our brain also has a lot to do with that. Meditation and all kind of brain trainings can be a helping hand in keeping the mind ‘young’.
Living in Asia for over six years now, more and more I feel connected and engaged with this body and mind approach. To be honest, I follow my own diet including a regular beer or wine to also enjoy my life during getting older (or younger by the day as I once explained). The Burgundian pleasures of life I call it. Trying to slow the aging process down, or to extend it, does not have to be a kind of torturing yourself to live a ‘happy’ longer life isn’t it?

A recent study of one of the universities in America showed actually, and it made me happy to hear that results during our August 25th expats meeting, the very best solution to slow the aging process down has to do with our thoughts. Thoughts inspired by our soul and will. An even higher or, if you wish, deeper dimension as also Shamanism shows.

So it is not this healthy diet, not that fitness or yoga, that meditation and brain training at the first place but the way we think about it and the willpower and enthusiasm we have to live happy and long.

We need to understand that the process of aging start already at birth. And this kind of process is for every person the same. Step by step we are getting older and run out of our time. Let’s face it.
Marketing tells and shows us (photo shopping helps a lot) we can stay forever young. Hello, wake up, as everybody knows it is not true. Watch yourself under the shower ;).
As a child we want to be a grownup as soon as possible. As a grownup we long to our childhood. Does it make any sense?  Are we ever satisfied?

During a group dialogue I was in during our meeting one of the group members said: “At our age we live our life backwards.” And I believe this is true. I can be grateful to be able to live my life backwards. Being much more aware, let me call it conscious, about the situation and the life I was in and am in.

Our environment helps us to believe that our aging process has everything to do with walking backwards step by step. It’s end of your time. Nothing to reach any more. It is nearly done. Not really a happy time to face… Yes, as I said, we run out of time. Totally true (for every one of us). And ask yourself what do I want make of that period? Giving attention to what, most of the time physically, you are not able to do any longer? Regrets about what you did not do? No lust any longer? Complaining, as many people do, and thinking about “the good old days? For me the days living now are really the good old days. And I am thankful for that. Hope I can go on with it for a long time. 

Thinking about the question on top of this blog actually worked out to get a great understanding of making steps forwards instead of backwards. Getting younger by the day.

To give you some examples of my answers on this question (be sure I can already write a book about it).

# I stopped to try to reach goals.
# I am finished with my ideas about what other people maybe think of and about me.
# I discovered I do not have to be anybody (ego) to still survive in the system.
# I learned to breathe and stand still. Asking myself; “Is it worth to deal with, worry about, or suffer about all I hear and see?”.
# I appreciate nature as a life-mirror much more.
# I am less dependent to my programming and what the system tries to let me believe as ‘the truth’.
# I do not need newspapers, television or radio (the present social media I did not have).
# I am much more grateful.
# I live happier and that’s success for me.

And during the short time we got for answering this question every individual got to express his or her first ideas I also mentioned. “What I absolutely still do the same is to enjoy, listen and support the playful child in myself!”

And, in my opinion, this ‘inner child’ being part of the Soul (in connection with the Self and the inner wisdom) has everything to do, no is really the main thing, to influence our thoughts. So also our thoughts about aging. Influencing in a positive way the duration of the process.

Be and stay optimistic and enthusiast (my father was totally right expressing already this ideas in relation to positive thinking), be playful and humorous (my mother was totally right as well) and stop being influenced by all the judgments of your outside world and marketing.

Be the playful person you want to be in the first place. Go for LIVING life and make the best of it without complaining. Stop, or at least diminish your judging (out of respect try to understand and learn about other persons programming and thoughts). And yes, also exercises for the physical body and mind support in a positive way. But our thought process is the main influence in slowing down our aging process.  

Over two hundred expats joined this meeting and dialogue. Really all of them agreed they live a much happier life now than at the age of 25 years young. They are also more grateful now.
And yes, this has also to do with the possibility (and the guts) this worldwide expats generation I am part of got. Possibilities lot of people in the present generations have even more I guess.

In the first place set (or change) your thoughts. Focus them, out of your soul, on enjoying the things that really matter in your life and let your thinking process supporting soul free in still living your purpose. Like every other person… you run out of time and finally have to leave everything…

Note: Picture of my 93 year young dad many years ago and just before he died, in a Dutch newspaper. Still sometimes acting as a massage therapist and yoga instructor at that time for elderly.


Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)


Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.