Friday, February 23, 2018

Ratio versus emotion. An ongoing battle. Nothing to do with following your heart.

Even before we are born our feeling exist. Feeling connected with and in relation to living. Feelings are personal developed reactions in relation - and as a personal chosen response - to two main basic questions: “How to survive?” and “How to stay safe?”.

Our ratio (making choices/decisions out of calculating the relation between things out of learned facts, does not really exist yet. It has a relation to learning. We learn ratio.
Learning is the act of acquiring new, or modifying and reinforcing, existing knowledge, behaviours, skills, values, or preferences and may involve synthesizing different types of information” (Source: Wikipedia).

Soon in life we start to learn and - without even being aware - are being programmed. Living and learning, so feeling and ratio, the first couple of years of our existence go together in balance hand in hand.
Sooner and sooner in life, driven by the expectations of our environment, culture, marketing (I see as cultivating desires), feeling in relation to living (so emotion) fades away and learning (ratio) takes a huge flight upwards.

Getting older, and maybe wiser, people discover that life cannot be calculated at all. They discover a lack of feeling and showing and freeing their emotion and lots of times they do not know how to deal with this. Strange to say, they have to learn it. Or maybe better to explain they have to un-learn the idea that everything in life can be treated only by ratio. They will find out more and more that only ratio will not sustainable connect in friendships and deeper personal relationships.

Management tools help us to understand there is a ‘muscular’ (basic male way of ratio and convincing/debate)  and a ‘feminine’ (basic female way of emotional connecting and dialogue). But in our lives, when we really want honest and sincere connections, so no fake empathy, management ‘skills’ are not needed, not even wanted. There need to be a good mix and people have to be capable to use this mix in their authentic approach to situations.

So called ‘self-help books’ and magazines in relation to ‘health’, ‘relationship’ and ‘discovering yourself’, more and more give us the advice to act out of - and to follow - our heart instead of our rational thoughts. But is this really the best solution? Is this the real truth? What does it mean to follow your heart? Is it really possible? Is the heart the center of our emotions?

In a rational way, Mind Science teaches us our organ called brain, by evolution, is build up out of three brain types. The reptile brain part (survival instinct), the mammalian/animal brain part (feelings/emotions and memory formation) and the neocortex/human brain part (language, reasoning,  logic and forward planning). And yes I know there is new knowledge as well. But let's take it for a while just to get more understanding.  
The brain has two hemispheres. The right side of the brain deals more with verbal emotional (feeling) matters. The left side more with rational/logical ones. The inner ongoing battle between our ratio and emotion is caused by our human brain parts and the ‘fight’ between the two hemispheres. Ever seen a cat or dog suffering about his past or his future? I guess they live in connection with the now.

So not our heart but our brain is the general manager responsible to select a rational approach (choices in relation to our truth (thé truth most of the time is much more and bigger)) or the emotional (feeling/intuition/inner wisdom) approach. 

Emotions are personal related and can be different for every person. The positive or negative feeling you get has to do with your pré- or sub-conscious mind. You learned to get this feelings in relation to known or unknown circumstances. So, maybe without even knowing, your feelings are reactions that you choose to have and not emotions that happen to you. During the first young years of your life and out of life experiences you ‘learned’ them yourself.
Being an adult or at least being ‘older’ you can ask yourself the question if this emotions still serve you in the best suitable way to grow, to connect, to share, to love and to enjoy life.

In personal-, as well as business life we need a balance in our response out of ratio and emotion. Getting older and having more life experience we discover living life is an art. We all have the tools inside us to deal with life. Nobody can calculate life. To live life it is to feel life. During growing up and building up our career we lost feeling. Getting it back is only a matter of un-learning.

Be aware of the choices in life that you already made (or out of their best intentions were made for you by your caretakers). So find the source of disturbing emotions and just stop/drop them. And yes, open your heart so you can give and receive inner energy but only change your thoughts.

Change the battle of suffering caused by choices to be made out of ratio or emotion. Make them a playful game of understanding.

Frans Captijn

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, February 16, 2018

What is holiday for you?

The guests who visit the resort where I live next door are changing. This has everything to do with a change of the concept a new management brings in. The once quiet ‘one stop destination for healthy living’ now brings in more and more families with young children who are spending their holidays. Nothing wrong, just different.

Today in this blog two experiences of different understanding of the meaning of ‘holiday’. What is holiday for you?

A couple of months ago I did a mindful communication café with a family. A Russian father, Ukraine mother and their two young children, a boy and a girl. A wonderful insight appeared.
The parents work and the family lives in Bangkok. Once a year they bring a family visit to Russia and Ukraine. The children see their grandparents again and they like it.

In the communication café the daughter wanted to talk about what holiday is. She shared her experience that even during holiday, especially her father, did not have holiday or spend enough time on the family. She thought it a strange experience to nearly never see her father because of his work in Bangkok and being in Russia he is only working on the house of her grandparents.

The dialogue gave her the inside that her father really experienced holiday because he was with his family together, they spend wonderful evenings and meals and working on the house of the parents was a relief from him. Helping his parents with fixing some things on the house because they were to old to do this things by themselves and they did not have enough money for all this things to hire a company to fix it for them. The father told the family he really enjoyed his holiday. Having time to have all the meals of the day with the family together, no disturbances from work, enjoying to see how the children and his wife related to the (grand)parents and the country life. Spending long evenings with the children and the family on chats and taking care together of the animals at the farm.

Just as a kind of automatic response, a kind of ‘the light switched on’, the daughter said to her father she never thought about this. She explained now she understood there are two kinds of work. One you have to do for money, a kind of must. The other one to help other people out and to relax and connect. It made her even happy (and it created some tears in the eyes of the father and mother).

The second story just appeared here one week ago.
Children want to play. Totally normal, I think they need to play. So what happened… some children from guests, although the garden Labyrinth as a sacred place shows signs it is not a play garden for children, ruined the Labyrinth.

It made me angry. Especially because parents do not take care of their children.
A father came to my house and told me: “Sir, because of you my son is crying now.”
I replied: “Your son let me cry.”.
I explained him the meaning of the Labyrinth. That I spend half a year free time to build it. That it’s a sacred place for meditation and that there are all signs around it to tell (even in their language) this is no place for children. His son was digging holes in the walking path so that does not make me happy. I think children have parents to take care and guide their children. Isn’t that their responsibility?

He told me they were having a holiday and wanted to spend some quality family time together. He apologized for the damage and told me he did not see it. I know, I told him. You were sitting next to the labyrinth, totally focused on your phone and even talking to it. He responded telling me this was something important from his work and my last answer was: Do you call this quality family holiday time…?   

What is holiday for you?

Frans Captijn

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Living life is like a ride in a train.

One of my neighbors suddenly left our nice residences. One and a half month ago she invited me, some other people living at our place and some of her friends for a New Year’s Eve dinner. Without saying a single word of goodbye she left. A couple of days later another person, a friend of her, also left. She lived next door for a month and without saying a simple word or leaving a single message she also left.

With another neighbor I talked about this for me a bit sad and funny and instructive experience as well. She compared living life as taking a ride in the train. The idea touched me and I started to contemplate on it. Actually a wonderful mirror, this train.

You can see the train as your temporary life path on the never ending, ongoing changing and developing world. We are all traveling on the crust of this small planet, earth, and nowhere else. This is a constraint.
The changing scenery, wonderful fields, rural villages, crowdie cities, industrial parks, garbage fields, beaches, mountains, and tunnels as the influences you have to face and or to deal with in life. They all pass by. At several stations the train stops. An opportunity to leave and explore for a longer or shorter time or… to just go on. But always a stop so you can think about leaving or going on.

You start to take your train ride immediately after birth. Actually after conception. And, you are not alone in life, so not in that train. One of the things that Alfred Adler in his book ‘What life could mean to you’ explains as a second constraint. ‘None of us is the only member of human race. There are others around us (in that life train), and we exist in association with them.” So if you like the people around you or not… total isolation is not possible. We are always tide to others. Adler mentions a third constraint; Human beings are made up of two sexes.
Individual Psychology has found that all human problems can be grouped under three main headings: occupational, social and sexual.

So here we go in our life train. Some people sitting close to us. Some further away, some very far away. We do not even know them. Other people walk in for a short trip or a longer trip. So they stay short or longer and maybe even they take the nearly same ride but are in another compartment of the train and you never saw them or see them. And at a certain moment you reach ‘ocean view’, end of your time. The life train goes on without you and you created space for somebody else to take your place. For again a short or longer ride…

So, comparing your life and connections in life with a train ride. Don’t feel sad. It’s just facing nature and no one can escape. Some people go and create space for new people to take place. Up to you to be willing and open to interact. Up to the other persons to respond or not. Also up to the other people to say goodbye or not. Be only a mirror. Be aware mirrors do not have emotions. So do not be affected by their choice.

In the present time people in trains less and less interact in face-to-face conversations. They are in their own digital world. Not even being aware of the changing scenery outside. Does it still matter to them?

Maybe at their time of ocean view… they discover they left so many opportunities and valuable free gifts… the life train wanted to show them. Now the same train, with another passenger on their chair rides on without them. Don’t be sad. No emotions, it’s just a life lesson.

Frans Captijn

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, February 2, 2018

The four kind of foods we consume every day and can keep us healthy or make us sick

During one of my classes we talked about how to love. I used a Dharma talk from the Vietnamese Monk Thich Nhat Hanh. It brought a lot of insight and wonderful understanding about the many influences (on self-love and love) we have because of the different kinds of foods we consume every day.

Ever thought about the idea, without even being aware, we consume four kinds of food every day. And these sources can make (or keep) us healthy or can toxify us.

This four kinds of food we feed ourselves are:
  1. Eatable food (that what we put in our mouths to nurture our bodies)
  2. Sensory food (what we smell, taste, hear, feel and touch)
  3. Volition / Desire (the motivation and intention that fuels us)
  4. Consciousness (this includes our individual consciousness and our environment).
Our body is the temporary temple of the soul. How do you treat your temple (body, mind) and your soul?

Nearby the place I live we have a huge, luxury, treatment center for people who are addicted to alcohol and drugs. And as everybody knows there are many, many addictions. Smoking, eating too much or too fat, an overload of coffee, and the last couple of years internet and our addiction to our tablets and I-phones.

Maybe it’s strange to say and many therapist will tell me I am wrong. But can it be addictions have everything to do with how you manage (or actually are not able or willing to manage) your own life? Are you in charge of your own life? So who is the boss of living your life?

And this four kinds of food have everything to do with this.

If we eat with moderation, eating only the foods that help our bodies to be strong and healthy, then we’re showing love and respect for our own bodies and for the Earth. This does not say you need to be a vegan or vegetarian or what else. It also does not say once in a while you cannot eat French fries with a hamburger. It’s just a matter of being more aware, more conscious of what you are eating and why.

We consume sensory impressions with our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. When we read a magazine we consume. When we watch a television program we consume. Being the whole day on Facebook, Weibo, or whatever other means on the internet, we consume.
Whatever we consume affects our body and mind. If we consume toxic magazine articles, movies, video games, etc., they will feed our craving, our anger, and our fear.
If we set aside time each day to be in a peaceful environment, to walk in nature, or even just to smell and look at a flower or the sky, then that beauty will penetrate us and feed our love and our joy.

The energy that keeps you alive is your desire, your hope, your aspiration. You want to be someone. You want to do something with your life (I guess). If you are motivated by compassion and love, your volition will give you the energy and direction to grow and become even more loving and compassionate.
If your desire is to possess or to win at all costs, this kind of volition is toxic for you (and your environment). It’s a matter of trying to know and to understand yourself on a deeper level.

The fourth source of nourishment is collective consciousness and individual consciousness. Our individual consciousness is influenced by the collective consciousness of our environment. Is your environment, the place where you live, the workplace, the right one for you to flourish?
We absorb and reflect what is around us. If we live in a place where people are angry and violent, ten eventually we’ll become like them. Many stories I remember from a Dutch television program “The traveling judge” of neighbors who could not stand each other any longer because of all kind of things that worked out to be irritating. For Dutch audience watching this programs it was adorable (nothing better to do maybe).
If we live in a family or community where there’s a culture of being understanding and compassionate with each other, we’ll naturally be more peaceful and loving. Children growing up in such an environment will learn to be caring and kind.

Be aware of your daily consumption and become or remain healthy.

Frans Captijn

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Communication is having sex (experiences out of the Tantra introduction workshop)

Every Monday evening I guide an introduction to Tantra workshop here at The Pavana Chiang Mai Resort. Most guests do only have a little bit of understanding what Tantra is about. What they primarily have in mind is that it has everything to do with sexuality. And because of this (very narrow) view they seem to be a bit shy first to learn more about Tantra. 
Joining the workshop together with some other guests at first sight feels a bit more comfortable. Most of the times after already only one minute of joining the class they feel totally at ease, engaged with the theme, curious to understand and willing to practice as well.

Tantra has everything to do with a mind, body and soul approach. And there where the regular Buddhist meditation practice is focused on training the mind, the meditation in relation to pink Tantra is not at all focused on the (trouble making) mind but on the heart. Skip the idea of Tantra is learning techniques. Tibetan Buddhist Tantra has to do with opening and following your heart. No technique at all. No performing. No pleasing. And believe it or not, no sex deed is needed to create bliss and a much richer experience of intimacy.

Pink Tantra? Yes. A combination of White (more the spiritual individual way to create an ongoing feeling of bliss) and the Red (more the sensual and sexual way of exploring with a partner independently of gender).

This first shyness to join the introduction class/workshop already tells a lot. Shyness has to do with peoples programming. With experiences of the past and all kind of institutions and believe systems that tried to indulge us that it’s wrong and sometimes even dangerous to give attention to the full potential of your body, mind and soul. Still Tantra for many people and cultures is banished. The word ‘sex’ still nowadays invites to be curious, find a dark private place to connect with, or pushes away (actually from yourself) and even sometimes creates a feeling of guilt.

How is it possible a word can do this? Ever took the time to look deeper into what the meaning of sex actually is? There is so much more to discover. Communication for instance is sex.

Sex is energy, even better to say life-force energy. Sexual energy and life-force energy are exactly the same. And Tantra is the sacred approach to free and expand inner life-force energy (Kundalini) to get bliss by emptying your mind, leave the focus on the genitals and to connect, listening and respond to (true) love. To connect with and experience the interweaving of life-force energy.

Interweaving and flow of energy only is possible if there is a difference in polarity. In Tantra, we usually speak about the feminine and masculine poles. Talking about communication in a Tantric way listening is passive, feminine, and speaking is male (independent of gender). Speaking is a penetration of you and you are receptive to it. Between a speaker and a listener a sex act is happening because the speaker is trying to penetrate you and the listener is receiving and the other way around. And if you are listening in a way that you only use the time-frame the other person is speaking to make up your mind for your own story... then there is no real communication so no sex. 

Communication happens only when one party has become male and the other party has become female, otherwise there can be no communication. Wherever negative and positive meet, sex happens. Wherever polarities meet, opposites meet, it is sex.
Getting this understanding sex gets a much wider meaning. Not (only) the act but much stronger the embracing of the appearance and sustaining of intimacy.  

And in this way Tantra is about all of life - the way you eat, the way you treat your body, the way you meditate, the way you relate to friends and family, the way you connect with your intimate partner as well as how other beings experience your life-force energy.

With this in mind you can tell me now that if communication is already having sex, life is sex. So all the people with the first very narrow understanding of Tantra actually were right. And so they were. The only thing is that after the workshop they got a much wider view and understanding, in comfort, to connect with their full potential. They learn the first natural steps, so no techniques, to empty their (programmed) trouble making mind, to absorb life force energy and to reach high levels of bliss.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight
“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, January 19, 2018

Getting older and the new dimension of intimacy. The meaningful deeper journey of discovery to bliss in your current or new relationship.

From my previous work I still remember that there were people who would follow the PIS-course at the end of their career. Pension In Sight. One of the components of that course was to get to know your partner again. To review the development and situation of your relationship - the mutual bond, intimacy and communication in it - together. Do you want to invest in your relationship in this new situation? If so how?

You do not have to be old or retired at all to know together, if you are honest with yourself and your partner to agree that the intimacy and sensuality in your relationship actually often has diminished. Maybe even is very poor nowadays. That there is still little to share with and learn from each other.

That which perhaps once started so energetically is now on a fairly low or at least a bit lower level. The challenge is less, you know each other (you think) and what's there still more or new to discover? The social media on your mobile, for example, your leisure time club life or television, are much more attractive and in the meantime you remain so busy with everything that’s going on in your life.
Little time, and a lower need, to invest a lot in each other, in your mutual relationship.

That is not only more than a pity. It is also a missed opportunity for better health and a happier and more energetic (blissful) life. After all, both of you run out of time as well… Do you permit that happiness and that energy (which is free available) to run away like loose sand between your fingers?
If you are not (both) willing to invest in it you do not grant yourself, your partner and the world around the best possible ‘harvest’ of living your life. At least that is something I discovered here from experiences working with guests and by further deepening and studying.

That which once started out of a passionate desire - often surrounded with lots of exciting sex and lust - now has become so common that the need for it, at least with your own partner, has faded away. The adventure is pretty much finished. It’s maybe still now and then the 'performance' to get away with it and after that (usually for the men) quickly fall asleep. Whether it will actually be satisfaction of yourself and of each other, we do not even wonder. Let alone that we wonder about the quality of it. We know by ourselves the answer for a long time already, but keep that answer mainly for ourselves, only thinking that the partner does not recognize this. A kind of taking a selfie with that beautiful smile. A kind of smile that, immediately after the picture is taken, ends up in the fridge.

What I have learned, working with guests in programs here, is that most people do not even know themselves (body, mind and soul) let alone each other. That the adventures expedition, that start of both your romantic journey, might be over in your head. Realize it’s only over in your head. In practice you have only taken the first steps on the path of the relationship with yourself and with your partner. There is still a long way to go if you are open (and willing) to it. An expedition in the discoveries of intimacy, sensuality, freedom, life energy, joy and bliss. A new dimension.

And that expedition is another one than you have experienced so far. That which you have experienced so far has only been a foreplay. You (finally) let go of all those thoughts in your mind and that primary focus on your genitals. Actually, your thoughts and focus on those organs ruined maybe more of your wellbeing than you ever thought.
You focus on a much deeper level of connection with your partner through your heart and soul. A deeper way of experiencing blissful interaction. One that is focused on true connection and being understood. On (inner) energy flow. Learning to know each other on a deeper level. Experiencing a physical and spiritual / divine free bond. Both literally and figuratively a different communication and sensation. Deeper and closer attention to and interest in each other. Not only in the late evening hours but a stimulating energetic sensation of wanting to give to and take from the other during the whole day.

A discovery journey first of yourself and after that together with your partner. Long-lasting experience of energy flow, intimacy, sensuality and above all ... of slow experiencing. Taking and giving the time (quality time) for each other. Aren’t you both worth that time?
And what about that 'act' you think is necessary? That is no longer the focus. Making love is so much more. The attention is no longer on that act. When it comes or shows itself that’s not more than natural and totally OK but there is no need anymore. It is (again) about a much more intense experience of true loving than ever before. From experiencing yourself and the other person deeper, to learn to understand and appreciate the meaning of loving yourself and the other person (and what it, deep down, always for you has been). Discovering and living the three kinds of intimacy: Physical, emotional and spiritual.

And again, do not believe that you really have to be that old. That can be so and very often that 'low pitch' arises much earlier. Even in a still young or new relationships, regardless of your age, I notice here that such an expedition gives a closer, deeper, connection and flow. For sure, those discoveries are fantastic experiences, insights and reinforcements. And this is not a kind of egoistic act. You do not only feel that yourself or together with your partner. You are radiant in this to the world around you.

And the best thing is that you've already all of this stored inside yourself for a very long time. It is literally an experience of dis-covering. Take the cover, the lid, off and release that valuable treasure in yourself to enjoy Life and Love more intensely. And sometimes, perhaps from your partner, you need a little bit a push or support in your back to come into action. 

Great to be able to cope with the energy of people who discover and experience this here in an intensive eight-day program. That playful new stage and phase in and with themselves and with each other.

Do you want to react, do you have any questions about this or do you confidentialy want to share something with me? Mail to:

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight
“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

Friday, January 12, 2018

Pondering about my next parents. "We don't need no education...hey teacher leave them kids alone."

The last week of the year I took even more time to contemplate on my life. What I already learned and, like everyone running out of time, about what there still is to learn and share this lifetime. 

I was even pondering about my next life. Many times before in my blogs I wrote about my idea life will not stop. Yes, you leave your body because it cannot serve you any longer in the process of growing. So change is needed otherwise there cannot be any growth. What a rich understanding if the time is there your soul frees itself from the temporary structure (your body) to make steps forward again. For me it’s not even my belief anymore. Even deeper it is trust. Maybe for many people a strange thought. But this is not where this week’s blog is all about.

I was thinking about what kind of next parents I want to have in that life and where to be born again. Don’t get me wrong I am more than thankful, grateful, happy and honored by the parents I have and, although not physically on this world anymore, I meet on a daily base. And no, I was not under any influence of alcohol or drugs and not dreaming ;). Just thoughtful.

Living a total different life and lifestyle then I lived before in The Netherlands and in my role as a CEO I discovered I am not another brick in the wall. And getting the possibility to make steps forward again I want to go on with that. Happy both of my children also discover there is much more and a wider experience of living life not being that other brick in the wall as well.
Yes there are all kind of systems in every country, in every culture, in every religion. And without some rules it will be very hard to live all together in the village I call world. But is it always necessary to follow all the systems? Aren’t we still ‘free’ human beings to make our own choices?

Thinking about the kind of next parents I want to find, immediately I connected with a couple I know from here. A Thai lady, a man from Great Britain and their son. Actually for me this couple is more than special. They are very, very special. Unique and different. No other bricks in the wall.

And I don’t think there are many couples in the world who are like them living love, living life, going their own way, where possible do not follow systems. They feel home in the village ‘World’ wherever they are together as a family. Freedom in bond. They offer their son and themselves the ‘Street University of Life’. Doing what they can to not let their child follow the systems but getting life experiences. So, so far and I think he is already 8 years old, he is not going to school. In a playful way he learns from cultures, he speaks and writes several languages, he is more than clever (living his inner wisdom) and get the support from his parents to be who he is and just to explore life completely how and what it is. A soul with loving and inspiring parents who are not willing him to unlearn by systems what all is stored within this boy. Great to see and sometimes this parents really show they have the guts to ‘beat’ the system.

Have you ever thought about the idea that science is the development of knowledge and wisdom is the development of learning from Life? These people go for the latter and show their son what that can be for stimulating self-development.

Thinking all this things over I thought about the idea to write them, living in Mexico at that moment, a compliment that they plopped up in my mind as the kind of parents I want to have in my next life. I got a wonderful email back. Find a part of it in relation to their son and his not going to school:

“The mass freely compliment (Name of the boy) on his take on life and his sharpness and always want us to recommend his school to them!!!....Ah no school comes the answer. The teachers need to learn from him we say...Many see it as a joke answer, whilst others are so conditioned to belong to the system, enslaving the new energy within society they in turn give a lecture as what to do!!!....Like it worked for them...not.
His knowledge is not borrowed from schools it is within or 'in' (intrinsic, intelligence and intuition).

To be fair existence has beautifully coincided so many time keeping (Name of the boy) away from this conditioning...again so very grateful.
As Pink Floyd....another brick in the wall...we don't need no education...hey teacher leave them kids alone.”

In my opinion most parents are unable and unwilling to offer the freedom for their child or children to explore and be who they are. I am happy already about 10 years to be on the ongoing discovery journey of what my life is all about. Turn the bricks of lessons, experiences and even thoughts around. For myself and for many others I took my brick out of the wall.

I discovered there is so much more ‘in’ me and there is still more to explore and to share. Being myself. As much as possible free from the systems. Already far on the journey of learning to unlearn again. 

This type of multicultural parents who are living true love and exploring the worth of life. Were ‘home’ is being together somewhere in the village called World. Who are having the guts to free themselves and me, for as far as I am not able to do it myself yet, from any systems possible. Not afraid of what the world thinks about them. Who act and contribute out of love and help me to get and keep the ongoing feeling of bliss. Who grant me the possibility to go on even deeper exploring myself and to share my treasures with the world around. Who stimulate my inner wisdom to flourish. Who protect me against people who do not understand me yet. Who trust me and believe in me. Who help me not at all to be another brick in the wall. Who are connected with living life and who knows work in conscious and engaged business as a part of family energy and changing living environments.
Why? Most businesses thrive on the unconscious market...the more unconscious the product the more financial success… is the thought. Actually the less sustainable happiness and bliss.

I hope they will show and offer me real wealth that money cannot bring… A healthy life, lifestyle and contribution, in supporting my intelligence and intuition to grow in love, in staying my true self and in sharing my uniqueness.

Maybe this will bring another healthy ripple in the pond…

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

Friday, January 5, 2018

Don’t try to do your best to live a different life this New Year. Just DO it!

This year I received lots of Christmas and New Year’s wishes and also emails. Worked with guests around Christmas. Reading the wishes, the mails and working with my guests I got the understanding many people know they are not really LIVING life or live the life they want. Satisfying others, not being themselves any more. They experience they are in a kind of vicious circle. Living a life they actually do not want living (any longer) but earning money and fulfilling expectations, so they go on living a life they don’t really want living. Isn’t that strange.

And they also know what they need to change and what makes them really healthy and happy. Immediately after writing or telling me this, actually telling themselves, it’s so terribly hard to change their life(style) but they try to do their best in this New Year. I am sure they will not succeed. They stay in their vicious circle. Not serving themselves and not serving the world around in the best possible way.

Why do we constantly put off until later what we intuitively know is of the highest importance? Isn’t it strange you know you live an unhealthy life or lifestyle and to say it’s so hard to change but you will give it (only) a try? Giving you already a General Excuse to stay discontent? It only takes one person to change your life. You!

Take a sincere look at yourself. Where are you in your life? What have your priorities been up till now and what do you intend doing with the time you have left? Are you really the best you can be? Is there a need to remain as you are now? Who do you (only) think you are serving with this dissatisfaction?

In the West, we are consumed from morning till night by endless activity. We do not take much time to consider the basic causes of our happiness or suffering. We imagine doing even more activities or care more, our sense of dissatisfaction will fade away. But the truth is that many of us continue to feel let down and more and more frustrated by our contemporary life(style).

Very few people would say there is nothing worth improving in the way they live and experience the world. However, some people think their own particular weakness and conflicting emotions are something rich that contributes to the ‘fullness’ of their lives. They take the point of view their way of living is ‘normal’ or ‘natural’, and that it’s all about accepting ‘human nature’.

Are you willing to change, do you have the guts to change? Giving it only a try this year does not bring you any further. So stop with that, go on suffering or building up even more unhappiness or… just change it. Do it!

From one of my friends, actually one of my former teachers, I got a story that possible can help you making the change to start LIVING life. And yes, maybe at first sight and for a short while it will be hard to let go and you will suffer a bit. Afterwards you are proud of yourself, you feel free, much better. And not only will you feel better. You serve the world around you much more as well. If you do not accept or make the choice for change, you will not grow.  

This friend sent me a story from Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. As a witness she recorded their top five regrets in this last weeks of their lives.

  1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
  3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Do not do your best to give it a try. Do it!

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.”

Friday, December 29, 2017

Captijn Insight Thailand New Year's Wish 2018

New Year's Wish

Every wish is a gift
If you grant someone something beautiful, you give something beautiful.
If you grant someone something ugly, you give something ugly.
And if you then understand that we get back hundredfold everything we give
('Whoever sows wind will reap storm'), then it is actually highly remarkable
and extremely regrettable that we only have a few days a year
to wish others good things and that all of these wishes
usually do not extend beyond our family, friends and acquaintances.
We do not grant ourselves and the people around us enough rewarding and wish for.

That's why I wish for you the following things in the coming year:

Enough discernment to see everything that comes on your life path as necessary to learn and to grow and to do exactly what the situation demands and needs at the right time.

Enough trust in the natural course of things to not feel compelled to compete.

An effortlessly flowing and being present for that which appears to you.

Enough space in your life to take every day a moment to wish all beings in the world beautiful things.

Enough light in your heart to not exclude anyone out of this wish
or, if that does not work, enough silence in your mind to sincerely find out what is holding you back.

And furthermore;

That you may discover what’s your deepest purpose and desire of your life and that you may be given everything that is needed to live that deepest desire.

Of course, this wish does not limit itself only to you but also applies to the people around you, all people I know and all people that I do not know (in so far as there is any difference between the latter two groups).

A brilliant 2018 ( Buddhist year 2561)!

Frans Captijn
Host Captijn Insight work-retreat programs

(Captijn Insight wishes you a nice transition to a year in which you can receive love and friendship, give the best of yourself in function of your own development, and develop the courage and strength to complete the next steps on your life path, supported by good health (by taking full responsibility for it in the first place yourself)).

We hope to meet you in 2018 at one of our programs.

(Thanks for the inspiration to my former teacher and members of the Satsang of the Padma Center, Middelburg-NL)