Friday, May 25, 2018

Finding back past happiness feelings for free and a wonderful mirror as well

I remember very well how I, as a young boy, on my yellow with black autoped went to my primary school in Bloemendaal, The Netherlands. I had to pass a tunnel for pedestrians under the railway. Around that tunnel were lots of most wonderful smelling bushes.

At a certain moment, it must have been somewhere in the beginning of May, I heard when I walked with my autoped on my hand (because regularly a policeman was checking if people were really walking or you got a fine, a soft squeaking from the bushes. There was a bird's nest with young sparrows.

Almost every day I stopped on my way to and back from school for a while. Without disturbing those birds I saw them grow up. It gave me a super feeling of happiness, bliss. And actually also a seed in me was planted starting to like birds. It was therefore a great experience to be able to live with an owl here in Thailand for almost four years.

About a week or two ago, again very early in the morning, I opened my front door. Less than one and a half meters away there was a beautiful tropical bird in my conifer. And yes, a bird’s nest. Still empty. The next day holding one egg, the day after another and finally there were three eggs.

My door is always wide open when I am at home. And against the insects I have special mosquito screen doors. Two stools are located inside and next to the front door. From one of those stools I can observe the nest from very close without disturbing the birds. It feels like a kind of meditation and the most fantastic thing for me is, now that the three birds have just been born, that I have completely regained that whole and past feeling of happiness and bliss from that little boy Frans of that time. It is a more than fantastic experience and ... it costs nothing at all.

Isn’t it too crazy for words that we are nearly all only running, always wanting more, reach goals, being very concerned about what the world around us may not think of us, disconnected with our new best electronic friends, totally lost this kind of super simple things that make us happy?

And ... it's just a matter of stopping. Of standing still. Just take that stool and fully enjoy the scene, doing nothing else than observing and enjoy what you get served?

Great and thankful to be able to experience that again. Connecting with nature, still just in your front yard, nothing complicated and experiencing that great feeling of bliss that I lost for years back again, for free.

And actually for me it was a big mirror as well. 
Birds and very young children are blessed above human beings (above their first living years) in that they have no concepts and do not worry of the future, do not suffer about the past, no words in their heads, and no anxiety about what their fellows think of them. The same I had being that still young boy on my autoped. 

The mirror of my experience with this bird's nest in my front yard shows me step by step I am making progress in reaching that blessing again.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, May 18, 2018

That cat is too fat! Why do we usually respond out of a negative basic attitude?

My neighbor has two beautiful Persian cats. The balcony of her house is adjacent to the garden of the hotel pool, just like my house. Her cats - sitting on that balcony - often enjoy the view, the tropical birds and / or the sun.

Recently there was an American family with small children who went to the pool. One of the small children saw the beautiful white fluffy long-haired cat and said right away: "That cat is too fat!"

Her story brought me to this week blog.
Tourists in the city I talk with, hotel guests and, honestly I sometimes catch myself as well, often respond out of this negative basic attitude. "She is too late", "he is too thick", "she is weird and sweats a lot", "such a swimsuit is old-fashioned", "what he/she is wearing is disgusting", and so on. We continuously add labels. Usually those labels are negative and adding them, without in fact being aware, we try to put ourselves on a ‘higher’ or ‘better’ plan or standard.

“That cat is too fat" is a personal condemnation from what you have taught yourself how things should be or should be done. From that belief you immediately reject what you see and indicate that you know better how it should be. Actually you only know different.

Why is it that we usually respond primarily out of that negative basic attitude and why do we do that?

Compare, just for fun, the serene and simple splendor of a rose in bloom, with the tension and restlessness of your life. The rose has a gift that you lack: It is perfectly content to be itself. Is has not been programmed from birth, as we have been, to be dissatisfied with itself. So it has not the slightest urge to be anything other than it is.
That is why it possesses the artless grace and absence of inner conflict that among humans is only found in (very) little children and mystics.
If that flower does not attract your attention in color and smell, then there is nothing wrong with that flower. No disturbance, let alone urge to meet your wishes.

That is why it, so to speak, absolutely does not worry about simply being him- or herself. No conflict within itself. Something that actually marks only babies, young toddlers and mystics. Not being content with yourself is literally being brought up and ... a lot of money is earned on it.

The Buddhist doctrine indicates that our reactions by our brain arises from 51 different learned or programmed basis factors (mental afflictions) or values. Only 11 of them contribute in a constructive way, a healthy response. 14 Are neutral and no less than 26 contributes to an unhealthy, poisonous and destructive response. And as far as the latter is concerned, it is not only pathogenic (sickening), degrading or negative influencing your environment. It also works negatively towards yourself.

It turns out that we have learned in our lives, as a kind of security or survival mechanism, a way to be able to continue to belong to a group, family or culture, to respond primarily from those 26 negative base values. After all, you indicate what you belong to and that you reject everything else.

Instead of responding directly from that negative response, for example, mindful communication teaches to turn that energy that you would use for your reaction into a form of nosy curiosity. "How can it be that someone else has a different opinion than me?", "How can someone else behave differently from me?", “Why do I think this cat is thick and doesn’t it belong to that specie, Etc ..

With that you do not let go of your specific opinion and that which is true for you, or you do not have to follow that other person. You open yourself to discover a greater truth, to learn. And with that you create a better connection with your environment out of interest and you get to know yourself much better.
Just like that rose you can and may remain yourself and you do not have to be disturbed by the outside world. There is nothing to be dissatisfied with.

Isn’t it blissful that there are fat cats, thin cats, gray cats and white cats, long-haired cats and short-haired cats? It makes the world colorful and choice is possible.
It does not matter to that cat, just like the rose. He laughs at it.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, May 11, 2018

Detoxifying, cleansing or purifying body and mind? Useless! A waste of time and money unless...

It is more and more common in the world to give on a regular base attention to detoxifying, cleansing or purifying the physical body and the mind. Worldwide more and more resorts offer wellness and detox packages including all kind of additional things like relaxation and massages.

Having about five years of experience in this healthcare work I see it as a temporary ‘shock’ for the body and for the mind only getting the insight the short program does not at all solve or manage the disturbances and troubles in our life created by the mind.

People who want to do this kind of programs first of all need to ask themselves the questions: What went wrong with and in my life I want to do this? If you cannot give a proper answer on this question and are willing to change things in life, not a single program will offer a sustainable effect.

This kind of programs offer you to work on the effect of things you started to do wrong in your life in relation to your body and your mind. The program helps you to, temporary, ‘Make up your room’ of body and only a little bit of your mind. Something really went wrong with you. And, by the way, be happy you recognize this because many men and women do not even feel this need (yet).

If you do not work first on finding the source of what went wrong so you want to join such a health program and are not willing to change your style of life, it is a waste of money and time and does not help to live healthier at the long run at all.

So what is this source?
If you look deeper you will find you started to disconnect with nature and started to follow the rat-race that people nowadays call life. Taking care of everybody and forgetting yourself. Living against nature. Trusting and believing friends, colleagues, marketing and social media that happiness is waiting for you in the future and health and beauty for sale so you need to spend money on that.

Think, for example, of your body and compare it with the body of an animal that is left in its natural habitat. The animal is never overweight, never tense except before fight, hunt or flight. It never eats or drinks what is not good for it. It has all the rest and exercise that it needs (no gym needed). It has the right exposure to the elements, to wind and sun and rain and heat and cold.

Most birds for instance wake up and start to be active at sunrise, singing their happy songs. If it’s getting dark they take the time to recharge. Their lifestyle is connected with the rhythm of the seasons. Most human beings live opposite. They often wake up late, not fully recharged and or ‘singing’ their happy song, and exhaust their bodies and minds till nighttime.   

Animals, like babies and little children, are not influenced by marketing, social media and negative world news that only can make them afraid and insecure. Animals are face-to-face connected to nature. To flora and fauna. Not suffering about the past or worrying about the future. Connected and living to the here and now.
That all is because the animal listens to his body and allows itself to be guided by the body’s wisdom.

And not only that. There is also this mind thing for an animal. The animal understands the art of “Do not disturb”.
What information do you really need to be happy and healthy now? To have a clear and empty mind? Be honest to yourself. Don’t you ‘serve’ your mind with an overkill of negativity and unnecessary information? All kind of things you cannot change or help or actually do not need at all?
Understand that you are the only one that is willing to let these things steal your inner peace and rest and toxify your mind. Are you the manager of your mind?

Compare this all with our own foolish cunningness. If your body could speak, what would it say to you? Observe the greed, the ambition, the vanity, the desire to show off and to please others, the guild that drives you to ignore the voice of your body while you chase after objectives set by your ego.

A healthier life? Change in a sustainable way your lifestyle to connect with nature again. Unlearn your body and mind the unhealthiness brought by your environment, marketing and desires. If you are really in to do this… it’s worth as well to do a detox program.  

Do not let a fashion trend only temporarily disrupt your unhealthiness.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, May 4, 2018

Encouragement policy. Stop working earlier. "It was the salvation of my life".

We grow up with the idea that we must continue working until the so called retirement age. We do not even ask ourselves where that so-called must comes from and whether it is true.

Maybe not yet totally money and full-pension driven, we trudge on from what is assumed to be 'normal'. Our environment tells us that we have to, because we know we have better and better health care, live healthier lives (I wonder with so much stress if that is really the case?),and die later and later. What many see as the future period of enjoyment, has to wait a bit longer. You may wonder how long and especially at what stage of your life (and with which health) that enjoyment could still be and / or allowed.

Discouragement policy.
If you want to stop working earlier, generally is strongly discouraged. If you want to stop earlier you get a huge discount (it cost you a lot of money) on your future pension. I have this experience and still…Last week I received a message from my pension-fund that the calculation age for pension will be raised to 68 years. Reason? Yes indeed, because we are getting older... 

Now I say that stopping work earlier was the salvation of my life, that discount of more than 60% on my pension I take with a smile on behalf of a totally new Life (with a capital L). And if tomorrow for me the sun did not rise, I am more than happy and grateful that my ‘misfortune’ granted me the ‘fortune’ of living a different ‘rich’ life and retrospection. The insight to choose for Life, enjoyment, otherwise (deeper and wider) growth and sharing instead of (even) more stress, fighting against rules, regulations and unwillingness and almost certainly know a heart attack at a younger age than now.

Do you work to live or live to work? Is your work still your mission and passion? What about the balance work - private life? How long does your life actually last? How 'rich' do you want to be, remain or perhaps become? Are you aware that you cannot and will not take anything of that 'wealth' with you at ‘Ocean view’ time, the end, at all?

In 2010 I got a one-sided traffic accident. The, at first thought and sight ‘misfortune’ I spoke about before. A blackout in the Dutch Westerschelde tunnel. During a recovery period of 13 months, I still feel this recovery is actually still going on and I will never have the endurance and strength I ever had before, a very strong burn-out was discovered. 13 Months a fight with myself to come back on stage. At the helm of what I saw as 'my' organization and 'my' employees, with the beautiful work I did to continue. However, I was totally out of balance and exhausted.

My passion was, after reaching my pension, to live and start a different life in Asia. To live my dream. With many people I already shared that idea many years before I got my accident. Talking about it made me happy. From my father I learned the statement: “As a member of the Captijn family, we finish what we start”. A great statement, thought and approach. However, I did not understand till the time of my accident I was already finished on the path of organizational change and did not notice it myself.

13 Months of recovery (and four medical specialists) gave me the insight of who I really am and what to do (find and follow my purpose and mission) in the next period of my life. Already at a young age I did not see my future as a babysitter and taxi driver of and for my grandchildren (which I do not have until today). There is nothing wrong with that. However, it is nothing for me.

I found it and totally changed my life and lifestyle. I started to study again in relation to the purpose of my life. Last month I even got my degree as Kundalini Awareness Yoga instructor. Doing meditation and yoga on a daily base. Sharing my insights and understanding on internet to help people and situations to come into flow again. 

And all those worries about the future, and whether change is possible, and about all my so called responsibilities, and the financial 'loss' that you could have... It worked out it was all a waste of time and energy. Telling me I had no or at least insufficient faith and trust in myself, my life path and in divine.

And yes, some people who check the internet find a most wonderful story of the amount of money I got after I stopped working from my former employer will say. Easy talk. 
I waited on my balcony for a year for that money I should get mentioned in the media. The only thing that arrived was an excuse letter of the political board about wrong information my former employer shared with the media. Happy I am the only person that knows the right and real story. Nothing to be ashamed of and just only a pity that there has never been any rectification. 

At some point in your life you ask yourself questions like: Who am I? What do I really want? What do I want to do with the rest of my life? How do I turn the experiences from my past into lessons for the future? What is 'rich' for me (a rich man can be poor and a poor man rich)? What about loving and especially loving myself? Do I take care in a proper and good way for myself (and I don’t get me wrong not in a material way)?

My encouragement policy has become to inspire people to see and experience not to wait too long to follow their dreams, to stop doing things they do not like doing anymore (a waste of (life)time, loss of quality and negative influence on health) or doing things not related to their life purpose. Continuing this kind and type of work help them to stay in the vicious circle to make themselves mentally and often physically more and more ill. In spite of the overall better healthcare. Do you want to live a less longer life (so less pension has to be paid? Go on!).
And if you are still very happy with your present job and your work/private life balance is great... who am I to give you the idea to stop? You never have to count the days till your pension as many people do. 

Full retirement pension in general you get in a late phase of your life. Lots of time a short period of enjoyment. A phase of which you do not know the length. Do not drown yourself in general excuses and 'accepted values ​​and norms' of your environment. Make your own choice (Once you become fearless, life becomes limitless). With that choice you not only make yourself but also the world around you, to start with your beloved relatives, the most happy.

After all, big chance you mentally and physically are still well (or at least much better/healthier), more shining and active, and even better available and connected with really important things in your life. It is called LIVING life before it is too late.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.