Friday, December 28, 2018

A great New Year idea. Drink coffee with friends at home again. Good for your wallet and to restore conversation.

A few weeks ago I responded to an invitation to attend a meeting of a group of people from the Philippines. Even a more than delicious self-made Filipino lunch was included. It became a welcoming meeting and experience with some nice insights and ideas.

At some point the conversation was about how you could save money and also be able to make a better connection with people around you.
One of the young ladies in the group commented that an easy solution was to start to drink coffee with your friends again at home instead of going to the Starbucks. The coffee at home was even better as well and being at home the atmosphere was much more inviting to real connection and conversation. For a short moment it was silence, changing in laughter. I laughed as well. Indeed not a bad idea.

I think every company and I guess here every Thai thinks that you can earn lots money on coffee. Yes I think Starbucks indeed is a success story so far.

Where I live, on a daily base more and more coffee shops arise. Offering coffee nearly on every corner of the street it seems. As if everyone is longing to want to drink coffee every minute of the day. However, most shops remain empty most of the day.
And the clever concept of Starbucks seems to be more about being visible behind the large windows for others and the selfies that you can share on the social media than about the quality of the coffee. People hiding behind laptops or sucked into their tablets or I-Phones. More and more my experience is that ‘refined’ workspaces are offered where people do nearly not have face-to-face conversation, and holding their cardboard cups with large logo’s, are not even being aware they are drinking, enjoying and even tasting coffee. Willing to pay a lot.  

I think the young Filipino lady made a point. I remember how neighbors, the milkman, the baker and the farmer who once a week came to pick up the leftovers from the kitchen and dinners for his pigs, took a break and joined around my mother's table. Mom's 'coffee shop' was always open. Her super quality 'Koetosari coffee', yes, my father was once the main representative of it, praises and stories about everything that happened in our families, our environment, our country and also what was known that time about what was going on in the world. Yes, they each other and there was energy flow between them.

And that drinking coffee? That did not cost so much. Oh well, a special paper coffee filter, dune water from the tap, a little gas to boil the water and of course the beans milled by my oldest brother with the (hand) coffee grinder. You actually let people look in your kitchen and living room. Very normal hospitality at that time. Now that I type this, that blissful feeling comes back to me and I even smell the coffee again.

She is right that Filipino young lady, connection and saving money. A great and valuable thing to drink coffee at home with friends and acquaintances again. An invitation to taste, connect and have a good conversation about everything going on in your life and in the world around.
An answer to save money, enjoy even better coffee and restore connection and conversation.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, December 21, 2018

The craziness of Christmas only in Thailand?

Even my dog Kadhow lost the track. 

Plastic trees, no forest smell at all, shimmering balls not even to play, no invitation to pee. I tried to explain to him this has to do with the preparations for Christmas.

Christmas, Christmas, what the f… is Christmas in my country he seems to think looking at the unreal tree. He is a Thai Buddhist temple dog and does not understand a thing of it.

In recent years I see the phenomenon ‘Christmas’ in Thailand rising. Everywhere, in shopping malls, walking streets, restaurants, and so on an atmosphere of Christmas is tried to be created. Cashiers at Tesco Lotus are wearing Santa hats and music of ‘Let it snow’ for weeks already is playing in the hyper markets. Just besides, everybody is 100% sure snow will not at all fall with this 34 degrees Celsius temperatures at our place. So at least for me (and Kadhow) it is all a big joke and show.

Christmas, maybe it is shocking news, has to do with the meaning of the birth of Christ and so with Christianity as a religion. Wikipedia shows Christianity only represents max.1.2% of the national population of Thailand. And this number does not tell anything at all about the people of this small group who are really practicing. So why nearly everywhere Christmas decoration for already a long time?

Christmas has nothing to do with giving each other presents although there is an old story of three Kings / Wise man who offered Christ, still being a new born baby, gifts.

Christmas has to do with hope, peace, a new start, future, purpose of life, connection, a way to live, family (actually a great thing in Thailand), and much more. Not at all with buying things and marketing. Temporary happiness. That’s what people made of it. 

The craziness of Christmas only in Thailand? Not at all! Actually it is all over the world. Just another phenomena to make money so to sell. Creating an inviting 'celebrating' atmosphere. Do not think too deep. No need at all to know anything about the background. Just and only buy! A kind of "we create and also offer you the solution in relation to what you (do not) need". In my opinion missing the roots and only creating again an outside show to help people to buy.

Christmas, for me this way a bit a shame, more and more is only making the economy, and not our lives, happy.

Why my this weeks blog? Just an invitation to take the time to think a bit deeper or maybe even to contemplate. Do not believe all the show and campaigns, go back to the real roots.

I hope, for you I am wrong with my story (or maybe even you recognize it) and wish you a Merry Christmas.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, December 14, 2018

How to calm your thoughts down.

Many times during my former classes I got the question how to calm your thoughts down.
Last week again I got this question from a former guests. I think many people still are dealing with this question. And no, this is not a trick, you cannot do or learn it at once, it is a matter of continuous exercise. So, why not give it a try and start to manage this process and make it a routine for thoughts that keep on disturbing you.

So, how does it work?
You are aware of a thought that is disturbing you.

If you are aware of it you can look at it from a distance in a process of contemplating. It is a wonderful experience to recognize as a human being we have the opportunity to understand and that there are at least three roles or ‘actors’ in this process. The thought, you and the possibility to jump into the role of observer of what’s going on.

So in this situation actually you place yourself in the role of the observer of your thought process, taking some distance watching your thought. In this way it is not necessary to cling to that thought but you can let it go away as a cloud drifting away in the sky. You do not put your energy to it you only watch without judging. This is not as easy as it looks at first sight. It is a matter of training your mind.

How to only watch without judging?
# First thing you need to do is you observe your feelings. You can feel uncomfortable, anxious, worried, angry or whatever else. Contemplating you whisper to yourself: “I feel …. (just mention to yourself your specific feeling(s)) coming up. I do not want this feeling. I will let it go away.”
# Second you are aware this thought is just an only a thought. It creates just a feeling and has no matter in itself. So yes you can let it go.
# The third thing is that you need to understand that every thought, already your whole life long, is only temporary and not everlasting.
# After that, as the last fourth step, you need to understand this thought is not you. You are not the thought, neither are you the feeling. You do not have to let it affect you. So, let it go.

In Buddhist meditation we call this process Satipatthana.

Be aware and give it a try on a daily base to clear your mind and to become the master yourself, instead of your thoughts, of your own life.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, December 7, 2018

I missed Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Could have saved a lot of money. And... I did.

Yes indeed, I was too late!

Sometimes I am painfully reminded that my no longer being on the 'social' media, no longer reading newspapers, and almost no watching television has its drawbacks. Too late my sister painfully had to remind me that it had been Black Friday and Cyber ​​Monday already. I had missed it ... I could have saved myself so much money and all those discounts slipped between my fingers. Too bad.

Black Friday and Cyber ​​Monday? I had never heard of it and yet it seems to have kept many people in their grip. A form of super sale and certainly with the generally more expensive December month arriving this was a missed opportunity. Or wasn’t it?

It seems to be a, for me, again new marketing trick and just in my experience, yes, we kick in again. Because if you look a little bit deeper into that phenomenon, you may in all reasonableness wonder what actually is offered in those ‘super’ deals. Marketing helps you to believe that you cannot live without this offers or that you are crazy if you do not buy this things now (or never). Not having this things maybe even give you the idea you are not part of the ‘general group’ any longer. And that’s not what you want… It's only about buying, buying and even more buying. Whether or not you have the money for it and whether or not you need it (for me I just do NOT need it). It's good for the economy, and that certainly applies to all those personal loans companies who will earn big money on it again. What you get? Another temporary toy or thing. Many times even depths hard to get rid of because you have less money to spend and new arrivals will scream to buy them again.
Quickly you discover that what you bought is already out of date again and you will be reminded of perhaps a new phenomenon 'Saving Wednesday' (if it is not already there) that you can throw away your old junk better and exchange (buy again) for something new. After all, you need to be ‘up-to-date’ with for instance the technique you believe and are told by your friends

As my dog ​​shakes his fur regularly, I too did that. And indeed my fur is a bit thinner and still that shake caused me, just like with him, to notice with a smile on my face that I had not missed Black Friday and Cyber ​​Monday at all. I had saved lots of money. After all, I had not spent a single penny on it because I did not have the need or the desire to purchase something. I had and do not need this things to lead a super nice and valuable life.

What a relief and what a super good catch. Wake up. That call, or the offer to save as we believe, is no more than only shouting for investment. To buy and thereby to spend.

So I saved more than great! And to celebrate that soon I will experience Japan with my girlfriend. All because of missing out on these days, I have obviously saved that money now.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, November 30, 2018

In a split second your family destroyed. Again that mirror. LIVE by the day.

Last Monday morning my partner got a message that her school friend (40), so far, together with two of her family members, tragically was killed in a traffic accident. That accident happened the day before on Sunday morning, November 25, 2018 in the Thai province of Rayong. Her husband is perilous on the intense or care unit and their two 8 and 10 year old sons (on the Facebook photo with their mother) are told to be 'good' because they survived the crash. A heartbreaking picture.

A large lorry with sand overtook a predecessor and, on the two-lane road, he could not get back into his lane in time and crushed, the car approaching. The car with their family and some other relatives driven by her husband. A total of nine people, unsuspecting in that car, on the way for a family daytrip to a waterfall in the national park there.

My girlfriend called me during her work right after she heard about this tragedy and was and is pretty upset. Not in the mood to work any longer that day. I big shock.
In the culture in which I live here, family and family ties generally play a more important role than in the West. And so too that is with friendships. For example, my girlfriend is part of an active close group of eight friends who know each other from the university and meet each other at least once a year. Unfortunately this group is now seven...
A young family ... what about future?

I do not know what it is this year 2018 (in Thailand 2561). This year seems to be an ongoing movie full of mirrors to keep me awake what life really is all about and how fragile life is. It can all be different in one split second. And when you see around you how and what we are all concerned about, how we nag and argue and how we run our lives... What is it all about??? Money, status, power, position, etc., you discover this type of messages are hammering louder and louder that this things do NOT have any value in relation to living life. They represent nothing of it.

Every morning when I wake up, I am grateful that I have received a new day. An invitation to LIVE that day and make something of it. And this ongoing mirroring stories help me to understand it is better not to let me in with all the negativity around us and given by the ('social') media. Enjoying more the small things that actually most of the time are even for free available. Being happy, after having the experience, nowadays to be free of any 'status' or ‘position’ and enjoy living a free life and another lifestyle.

And that constant, and seemingly faster and faster, stream of mirrors that everyone knows and gets in his life, actually point more and more to LIVE by the day and be grateful for all that you already have and for the one you are.

And again the saying of OSHO came through my mind; "The only goal of life is living". Live by the day. Where else do you all worry about than living life? You are running out of time and ... it can all be different in one split second.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, November 23, 2018

The usefulness of the nonsense.

I got humor from home. Just like in any other family, also our family sometimes had to deal with problems. In particular it was my mother who often broke the tension and stress or helped to let things flow again during this situations using her fun and laughter.

Many people nag and argue about often even very small things. As if their life depends on it. My mother often stepped frivolously and lightly over this situations and things with a smile and her humor. There are worse things in the world she regularly said. Don’t accept hiccups to occur. Life goes on. Let alone let your precious energy merge into futilities. Always try to see the bright side of things was one of her winged statements.

Complaining and often making each other's life miserable… for what reason? Is it really worth it? Does it bring any solution or solve the ‘problem’? Mouths full of all that’s going wrong in the world around us and at work. Often not doing things better ourselves in our own small world. And the older you get, the worse it often becomes. Moaning.

Yes, 50% out of my mother, I know for sure I am inserted with my mother's humor. Even more than my other brothers and sisters because I was, after seven years in between my youngest sister and me, the last born of our family. Because of this I spend lots of time as a young child alone with her and even accompanied her to the theater. No children day-care that time and even if it should have been available it was nothing for my parents to drop me there.

She was an actress in Haarlem (The Netherlands) and performed in the Haarlem Theater as well, the place I have been born. You can see her on the photo with this blog in the play called "Summer in December" as I just read on the backside of the old photograph I just found.
How many layers of cosmetics make-up artists put on her face or whatever clothing they put on her... they could not hide the humor within. Her producers knew she could (and wanted) only play comical roles. Comical types. That 'jester' in her was simply not to hide. She often laughed at herself when she saw how she met herself in life. Those inside pranks were only briefly hidden. Often even big nonsense and many times she was the one afterwards who laughed loud about it. It brought her a feeling of freedom.

And I got that from her. Also in me the 'jester' is the basic talent with which I am anchored with this world. That playful inner child. And how it works is impossible to explain and who does not understand, also good, he or she does not understand. To honor her after she passed away I started my courses to become an actor myself. Looking back now maybe not to learn acting but to understand myself in relation to the world around me even better.

As if my mother regularly goes through me or still works with me. She taught me the usefulness of nonsense. Bringing some playfulness, light, air and/or flow in situations.
My kids and various friends have regularly witnessed or attended. Many times I see something happening, or observe on a terrace people sitting together, and comedy in my head arises like a movie starts to run. And I too cannot keep that inner pleasure inside and start as a kind of reporter telling it. And I believe, no, it is almost certain that that story often is even for perhaps 90% true.

Youp van 't Hek (a Dutch comedian, author, columnist, singer-songwriter, playwright and critic) would say: "A little light, a bit of a laugh, a bit of air, a bit of fun.".

Worry about all those things around you a little less and live a bit lighter and more by the day. You are running out of time. And as far as that’s physically possible of course, it’s better to live more in a playful and ‘airy’ way in flow than with moaning hiccups. Humor is a great supporting tool for that.

Happy that I inherited that humor from my mother. A gift that I enjoy and share every day.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, November 16, 2018

The causes of our emotions

Last week, after a long period of time, I followed a Buddhist class again. As usual it brought me several insights and I am happy to share. Growing by sharing still is one of my life themes.

The teaching was about emotions. Emotions, we have many of them, are effects. In the present timeframe, especially on the ‘social’ media, people share their emotions and moods with the so called ‘Emoticons’.

Where there is an effect, there is also a source, a cause. And because for every individual person this sources can be different, the emotions we show in several circumstances are different depending on the person. And the deep-rooted habits of our reactions partly determine our personality.

Although there is a balance in emotions (wholesome, neutral and unwholesome), if we talk about emotions most of the time we immediately thing about being emotional in a kind of sad way. During my acting classes I learned for instance that responding out of the same element ‘fire’ can bring us laughter and happiness but also deep sadness and crying. So emotions are personal expressions. Kinds of body language using all our senses and the manifestation of dealing with our inner energy. All emotions have two points of view: what we think (psychological) and what we feel (physical).

Unwholesome emotions have to do with:
# Greediness: Desires, lust, passion
# Anger: Rage, hostility, hate, resentment, dislike
# Ignorance: depression, sadness, despair, anxiety, self-pity, worry, insecurity, and so on.

Negative emotions lead to mental disorders. Affecting (ruining) your health, family, job, relationship, etc.. Simply your whole life. 

Wholesome emotions have to do with:
# Joy: Happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, cheerfulness
# True love: caring, compassion.

Positive emotions lead to mental balance and order. So your whole life as well but in a very different strengthening way. 

If we get more sight on and understand the causes, we can work on them is stead of suppressing the effects with for instance medicines, alcohol, drugs or going deeper and deeper in our mobile devices addictions of loneliness.

So the question in this week blog is: Where do our emotions come from?

Looking deeper into this question we can discover the cause of our emotions has to do with karma. Buddhism even teaches karma of this life but also from former life’s. But let’s leave that for now.

Karma? Easy said but maybe not so easy to understand.
Karma you can see as a gathering of actions. Physical actions, speech and thoughts of our mind. It is also related to the so called ‘law of cause and effect’. Meaning this. Our thoughts, actions and speech (cause) influence (effect) our future.
And again we can understand that our early childhood experiences and primary main life themes at that moment of how to stay safe and how to survive, has a lot to do with the creation of our karma.

Personalization of the experiences of our present life (the dealing with the external world) and the interaction with our build up/learned mental experiences cause the arousal of our emotions. Craving and attachments, satisfying our desires, are big parts of this interaction process and make us dependent. We cannot and do not want (and did not learn) to let go.

So you can see an emotion as the personal, most of the time habitual, way of attention based on your personal perception in your interaction with yourself and others.

Taking some distance to watch without judging to this personal process gives insight in your karma and the way you show emotions.
Learning to let go, calming and clearing the mind (experiences) and focus on wholesome emotions step by step can heal a possibly disturbed emotional balance. And that is dealing with the cause instead of fighting the effect.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, November 9, 2018

Do not open Fridays and Saturdays received letters during the weekend and control your email movement.

Mail, both letters and email, can disturb your mood. Especially during your well-deserved weekend you got to recharge your energy. Ever thought about that? And of course the content of your received mail can have both a positive or negative influence.

Last week, once again, I was remembered of this by someone from the Netherlands and someone from Germany. Many negative feelings came back again.
I would like to share with you how I have arranged my dealing with (e)mail after past experiences. Not as the ‘Columbus egg solution’ but perhaps to make you think about it and take some action to get even more control back over your life.

Unfortunately, in the nineties I was in a tedious and long-lasting, sometimes harassing, process of divorce. Nothing unique so to say but still. And when I listened to the stories of those two persons a lot of things came back up again about how I experienced that time and how things often still go. Distractions of your weekend, interruptions of night's rest by ... yes mail.

Perhaps I think too negatively by saying after this experiences nowadays, it felt like a sort of conspiracy theory. Usually I received again another thick letter from some legal firm on Saturday morning or I received an email on Friday afternoon. As if included in the curriculum of the legal profession to make the 'weekend enjoyment' as a special ‘additional gift’ bad for the 'opponent' of their 'client'.

'Curiously' you open the messages and… your weekend is ruined. That free time you got just to recharge is being occupied with thoughts, anger, disbelief, and so on. And not only during the day, especially at night.

And of course it is not just and only about the legal profession. I am sure you know several examples from your personal experiences.

Once more this is another aspect to take control back about how you want to live your life. And yes, directing your mail and email requires some discipline. You need to learn to get rid of your addict behavior to read and respond directly. Actually I was amazed, better to say positively surprised, about how quickly my outside world was used to my different way of dealing and approaching my (e)mails. I even get a lot of nice and positive reactions to it.

I would like to share my personal approach as an example with you.

# First of all, I open letters that I receive on Friday or Saturday only on Monday.

# I also took my email movement back in my own hands. Not directly replying as an addicted routine anymore but reading and responding only two times a week.

If people send me an email (both related to business as well as private) they will automatically receive the following message in English and Dutch:

Thank you for your message.

Please note:

As I continue a “digital fasting and detox” program, I live life and enjoy engaged face-to-face connections (and conversations) with people, friends and nature even more. 

That’s why I check my emails only twice a week: Monday and Thursday mornings before noon in Thailand (GMT+7).

If necessary I try to respond within two days after your email is read.
Thank you for your understanding and have a nice day.

Frans Captijn

Till today, this two actions contribute to more rest and almost no disturbance of my generally very nice weekends.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, November 2, 2018

Management without soul engagement. How to completely destroy a company or organization within a year.

To run a business you must be competent and skilled. In high school I learned that, economically speaking, you run a company to make optimal profit. In my opinion at least one side of the coin.

More and more, in the business and increasingly disconnected world, we can discover that soul engagement, customer contact and so-called after-sales (customer satisfaction) are elements that are needed to keep customers happy with the product or service they are paying for. It lowers the threshold to come back to you again and thus the continuity of your company.

Management therefore not only requires a business sense and knowledge but also passion. Soul engagement and commitment, a belief in the product, knowing what you are doing, knowing the purpose and value of your contribution, embracing the work environment (culture) in which you work and sincere involvement. Not only running for and collecting the money as the main goal.

In management terms, this requires a proper mix of feminine and masculine (Yin Yang) qualities in relation to the company you want to run or the product or service that you want to deliver. And if you run a company as a team, you have to be flexible in that team, speak the same language and complement each other where necessary or desired instead of competing. Keep your eyes and ears open and adapt your behavior to what is necessary or required for the ‘overall’ at any time.

From the sideline I experienced how, in my opinion, because of lack of knowledge of the unique services of a to me dear company, lack of understanding of and dealing with culture difference, lack of management teamwork, developing a culture of fear and especially the lack of soul engagement, a beautiful company in one year completely stranded and was destroyed.

Motivated staff turned their backs to the management and company. All returning individual customers and groups left. Negative mouth-to-mouth 'recommendation' makes a relaunch, if at all possible, hard at least not under the same name. The firm is for sale again ...

Soul engagement is something that really counts and if you know how to deal with, running a business can be a feast that provides energy, customer relations and money in a decent way. Very different from managing something that has been declared dead in advance due to the lack of it.

Sad to watch this dying process as an outsider.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 26, 2018

The poverty of wealth

At the beginning of October I went six days with my friend Kadhow (my dog) by car from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and Pattaya. A period to celebrate a wonderful long weekend with my girlfriend.

We had booked a beautiful bed and breakfast adjacent to Bangkok city where Kadhow was more than welcome. A villa in a location between the city and the sea (Gulf of Thailand). Well better said a villa in a kind of green zone as part of this mega-sized metropolis. A unique experience to suddenly come to an oasis of peace from the extreme hectic on the busy Bangkok Friday afternoon. Rid of people crawling like ants in the streets, not outcast from noise.

The sound of 'very large birds' that left the international airport, sometimes it seemed nearly touching with their wheels the roof of the villa, kept us awake for a while. For Kadhow it felt like a long rehearsing New Year's Eve. Super early in the morning that same kind of big birds, yes even Dutch nationals in a KLM Boeing behind the windows, arriving.

Accustomed as I am getting up early I felt happy to go for a walk with my dog. Place enough and lots of new smells for him to discover. Both he and I incidentally had to regularly sneeze because of the air pollution that was sprayed over our heads every about two minutes and came over us from the ongoing heavy traffic from the city nearby.

In the green zoned spacious villas one even larger and more luxurious than the other. On the driveways car brands like Lexus, BMW, Porsche and Mercedes. Large high walls and heavy ornate wrought iron fences as entrance gate. At the corners of the walls around various villas security camera systems and even private surveillance. The 'park' itself already had surveillance so this was even extra and thin over.

Kadhow did not care. It was quiet on the street only the regular aircraft noise. Perhaps inside he had to laugh, walking with a big curl in his tail, because his pet-friends were looking at him from behind the fences and barking at him. He freely walked around happily. Not a single roommate coming to smell his ass.

It made me smile. What a poverty actually to have and want to live in this 'wealth'. In many cases only a fantastic 'success show' that says nothing about real happiness. Which, by the way, does not mean that these people may not experience optimal happiness in their own way. But to be able to celebrate this type of happiness every evening and night in a kind of prison… Happy for me not my way.

After the weekend I brought my girlfriend to Pattaya and together with Kadhow in two days I went back to Chiang Mai. In the evening I arrived safely after a nice driving adventure of about 2300 kilometers.

The next morning I woke up ... yes, by birds. This time smaller species that whistle their morning tunes. A big green scenery of the mountains and fresh air, especially at the end of the rainy season. No, indeed no sea in the neighborhood. I do not have a large villa either, no walls and a large steel ornamental fence and ... 'only' a Mazda not even on a private driveway.

What a wonderful long weekend the three of us got. Rich and worth repeating. Rich, yes, certainly at home. Grateful and without any reason to have to secure and build a wall around my ‘wealth’. No status, no position, just being myself. Experiencing happiness and enjoying life without stress, fame or the hunt any longer for success.
Something that I am extremely grateful for.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 19, 2018

No ‘bucket list’, no big wishes, any longer.

A couple of weeks ago I joined a fieldtrip with some other expats living here in Chiang Mai.
At a certain moment the talk was about the bucket list we still have in life and our wishes and desires.

If you are not familiar with it, a bucket list is a list of activities someone wants to do before he or she dies. It is a list of things a person wants to do before they "kick the bucket". A wish list.

To many persons surprise I told the group my bucket list is empty. No goals, no big dreams, no wishes any longer. Not at all saying I have had enough of living life. I am still enjoying and am happy if I can go on with it. 

Not having this list of things I want to do before I die gives me a lot of peace and rest. I am living and enjoying by the day. Small things. Just normal and spontaneous meeting people, walking around in nature and being aware of the magnificent energy, practicing the art of watching with my photo camera, being happy with the daily contact with my children, enjoying being together with my girlfriend if she is here, enjoying the company and playfulness of my dog, drinking a beer or wine, this kind of things.

Walking around in the forest I made a picture of this spider. Wandering this animal is also just willing to wait for the things that come. If he likes it he comes into action, if not, he leaves it alone. And he (or she) is sure every day will bring something. It is just the awareness of a change of tension in the web. Actually like fishing or hunting. Aware, at ease, and present.

Enjoying the day and being thankful and grateful every day again to get this new opportunity.

No striving, no running, I got already more than enough magnificent things in my life. And yes, I am willing and open to receive more but if not… it is all OK.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Expect death and enjoy even more what life really is all about. What is the point of life?

It seems that my friends and acquaintances leave this world at an ever faster pace. Of course that has to do with my aging and maybe I should be happy in some way that I can still read the memorial messages.

Certainly after my decision to early quit my work, quite simply because I could not do that work after a heavy burn-out any longer, my life developed deeper in value and significance for me. I live and enjoy day to day. It is a change in attitude that helped me to feel fulfillment now nearly every day. What matters for me is consciousness and its content.
Regularly I tell people; "I no longer have medication for high blood pressure. I can only remember stress. And if the sun does not rise for me tomorrow, whatever other people think of it, then at least I have lived life the fullest.'

For me, the deeper value and meaning of life certainly has to do with the fact that the theme 'death' has taken a normal and conscious place in my life. Just like birth is part of it. It is nothing you have to push away. By being aware of it, I automatically put a lot more emphasis on things that really matter in my life and I enjoy living life even more.  

The statement that I often see on mourning cards and in mourning advertisements of he or she died 'completely unexpectedly' made me think last week. How can you die completely unexpectedly? Isn’t is an established fact? Actually you cannot even expect it, you have to count on it. And of course I know how it is meant, but it is not a bad idea to look at it and to contemplate on it in a literal way during your life time. It can be a mirror to enjoy LIVING life more and you may be less concerned about all the things that are bothering you so much. Do they actually really matter and worth consuming your night rest and energy?
Stop wasting your life away. Ask yourself if you really, from your inside, care about the right things.

Birth and death belong to the life circle. As is sometimes nicely expressed, they are 'inextricably connected’. Nobody can escape from it. You will, very sure and do not possible to escape, pass away. High or low in 'status' (I increasingly laugh about it), 'poor' or 'rich'. And although you can insure against it (actually strange because it is not a risk but a fixed fact), the curtain falls at any moment and you cannot take anything with you. You came with nothing and you leave with nothing.
Be prepared and aware of it so that you can make much easier choices in your life. Choices that make lighter and freer like the butterfly on the picture. Choices that you may enjoy, if you are honest with yourself, more.

Death is certain. The moment is not fixed and that makes it popular for others to say it was ‘completely unexpected’ to face actually always expected death.
Ever thought about the fact that after today your life is already one day shorter? That is also common to everyone. No escape. And how long that life is ... For most of us that is still unknown and it only does not seem to be in sight yet. The practice can be different and deceive.

In my experience it helps to live in a way being aware you do not die unexpectedly and that the moment always and soon can be there for you. For me it is a support to be even more thankful enjoying the value of life. Mostly not being disturbed any more by things that in the past bothered me a lot.

Expect death and enjoy even more what life really is all about. Maybe ask yourself: "What for me is the point of life to experience fulfillment?". You still now have the chance...

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.