Friday, November 27, 2015

Enough. Key to more happiness.

Before the start of every movie in Thai cinemas people show respect to their king. Last time when I visited a movie there was not only a national anthem - accompanied by pictures of the king on the screen - where everybody stands up paying homage to the king. There was more this time. Just before that ceremony there was also a kind of expression from the king to the audience telling them to be happy with enough.  

After the movie I talked with some English speaking Thai about this. A nice conversation I want to share in this blog.

The dialogue was about this word ‘enough’. Being happy with enough is a wise expression they explained to me. Lots of our suffering is because we think we never have enough. People show they are happy on the outside but in practice they are not. Why do you need a (too) big house, a (too) luxury or expensive car, etc.. In most cases it is just to show the world around you are happy. But when you need big fences around your garden and house, camera’s to feel safe at your place… what about your being really happy? When you need security guards to protect yourself, are you really happy? When you need a burglar alarm in your exclusive car, are you really happy? When you have the latest mobile devise, are you really happy? For how long? There is always more and better. You cannot come to an end.

Let enough be enough! Do not show the world around you, actually you are not happy at all on the inside. When you look deeper, actually what you can discover a lot of times is that real happiness is failing in people. Inside people are at war with themselves being afraid to show or share with the world around. So they cover themselves with veils that only show happiness on the outside.

The month December, in lots of countries, is a month of celebrations. Christmas, New Year, etc.. I remember going to do some shopping in that month. Seeing people with an overload of goods to make them feel secure their celebrations should be good. Throwing away loads of goods and food afterwards because they did not use it. Lasting happiness has nothing to do with temporary things.
Having enough is taking the time not to run for more. Taking the time to enjoy of what already is and be happy with it.

Just a dialogue after a movie in Thailand after a word spoken by the Thai King.

Maybe something to think about.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 20, 2015

The world is sick and wonderful

There are always two sights. There is light and dark in all things. The world is not all fluffy. They is not all love and light.

Over and over we get signs to remember us that it are only human beings that made and still make the world sometimes a sick place to live. 

Over and over we get signals to stand still and think about what life is really all about. For a short time we pay respect to life and to victims. For instance by asking to pray. Or to show we got the signal by changing our profile picture on social media or 'burn' a virtual candle to express our ‘support’ to a country or to citizens.
Just and only… for a while. Then we jump into our rat-race vehicles again on our way to…the next signal? We call it resilience. Actually it says we do not learn and come back on the same old track over and over again.

What do we do with this ongoing signals. Do we really change something in our personal life?

Today exactly I am 3½ years living abroad. Living in another culture, living in a totally different way. No, nothing romantic or better but just different. The time living abroad - discovering, studying and connecting with people from all over the world - made me more than ever aware of the fact that we are ‘living’ (acting) in a created system.

Aren’t we aware what is going on in the world? Wake up out of the phantasm world we are living in. Aren’t we aware of being puppets on strings in a system? A system of power, creating hate and fear. A system driven by emotion strategies (emotion is news). A system of accentuating negativity (when did you see or hear about something positive in the world on the daily news?). A system were countries want to interfere in everything and want to know what’s going on at the neighbors place in a very early stage. A system of creating more and more disconnection, non-privacy and ‘I’. A system of falsehood supported by show, propaganda and marketing. A system of corruption.
A system of making more and more money. The ongoing virus the world is contaminating. The news channel CNN, for example, shows us what life seems to be really all about. Even the most worse disaster, war or eye-witness report is supported on the screen by what is going on at the financial- and stock markets.

It is very easy to see this, by human beings created, veil of sickness. You only have to read the newspapers, watch the news, connect even more with the ‘social’ media and internet. But is only one side of the same medal.

Actually the world is a wonderful place. Let’s face it.
Everything you give attention grows. There is black and white in all things. And YOU are the only one that can make the difference in how to face the world. This does not say you do not have to know what is going on. Just be aware of black but also of white. Give attention to white and do not support black.

Make yourself available to life and life becomes available to you. Be aware of your “habit energy” pushing you forward and our ongoing struggling. Our sorrow and regret about the past, and/or our anxiety of what will happen in the future. Start learning the art of more and more stopping, resting and being aware.

You are free to enjoy the many wonders of live that are available in the world around you in the here and now. The blue sky, beautiful ongoing changing trees, lovely faces of playful exploring children, flowers, birds, etc.. You only have to face it.

Connect with and give more attention to the light and bright side of live. Everything you give attention grows. You will discover the world is more beautiful than you ever thought. Good for you, good for the world surrounding you. What a wonderful world!

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
But they're really saying I love you.

I hear baby's cry, and I watched them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself what a wonderful world.

Louis Armstrong

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 13, 2015

Dissatisfaction, a better explanation of suffering.

The Buddha is not a God. He is a great teacher. In the Buddhism people show great respect to their teacher and honour him. Buddha is just a ‘normal’ man. A human being like me and you. A man who left home, even his wife and young son, to homelessness. He freed himself to serve the world around by his teachings and way of life that have most to do with how to deal with suffering.

Buddhism is not about being special. It is about being ordinary. The Buddha gave us a lot of guidelines and actually not real rules to help us to stop or at least diminish our suffering. When you follow the guidelines there will be no suffering for you. But the teaching of the Buddha is a ‘free’ teaching. His lesson is most of all; “Find out yourself”.
The meaning of the big ears from the Buddha has to do with; ‘Do not believe me, find out yourself but to do that, be aware.’

Actually we use the word suffering in relation to Buddhism a lot. But it is not really the right understanding and translation out of the Sanskrit. In most of the situations it is much better to use the word; ‘Dissatisfaction’. Especially in the western world easier to understand.

We are never quite happy and if we are, most of the time it is very temporary. The food of our dissatisfaction are our burning desires and greed. And for sure it is not bad to have desires. Actually it is very normal and healthy to have them till a certain level.
Things change when they start to harm and toxify us and – by this – start to harm and toxify the world around us. The Buddhism learns us to be smart and fully aware about our desires. So, to be alert.

Let them serve you. Not on the outside, the world of getting more and more and never enough, but on the inside to purify, show compassion and build up inner wisdom even more. To enjoy and be available in and for the world around us even more. A sustainable way to lasting higher happiness.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 6, 2015

Are you really 'Impossible'?

Sometimes people really feel ‘down’. They feel impossible. It seem they will not ever connect and/or succeed. Not in friendships, not in relationships, not in work. From their entire environment they feel that they are impossible. That feeling slowly turns into an inner believe and increasingly negative thoughts as an inner base starting up new things. Creating a negative spiral down.  

We can cause harm and other people can harm us. There is a lot in life that can hurt us. And even when it comes to choices that people made that have hurt us. You can sometimes feel hurt by what other people have done to you.

But people are human, they make mistakes, they may be under stress sometimes, they say a sharp word. When your heart is open this can sting it. But most of the time there is no real malice, nothing personal intended in that. It is just that people are fallible and in different situations they act hastily and make mistakes.
It is really easy to turn oneself in somebody wronged…, thinking; ‘this always keeps happening to me…’, everybody is against me.

Humans are not impossible. You can see ‘impossible’ as ‘I am possible’. Do not believe, trust! And when you cannot trust yourself…who else can you trust?
Maybe, in a different way thinking out of trust and inner power you can think, they try to make me a success. We are not perfect sometimes. Happy for that.

Every human being is unique and has a mission to fulfil in life. Sometimes you have to learn the environment you are in to fulfil your mission is not the right one for you. This still does not say you are impossible.

Just like a plant, every human being, out of its own personal uniqueness, needs the right amount of sun, the right soil, the right amount of water, enough space and attention (grant factor) to grow and periodically flourish. That does not say the plant is impossible but has everything to do with the environment and with grant factors.

Change your inner believe in being ‘impossible’ into a trust of: ‘I am possible!.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”