Friday, December 28, 2018

A great New Year idea. Drink coffee with friends at home again. Good for your wallet and to restore conversation.

A few weeks ago I responded to an invitation to attend a meeting of a group of people from the Philippines. Even a more than delicious self-made Filipino lunch was included. It became a welcoming meeting and experience with some nice insights and ideas.

At some point the conversation was about how you could save money and also be able to make a better connection with people around you.
One of the young ladies in the group commented that an easy solution was to start to drink coffee with your friends again at home instead of going to the Starbucks. The coffee at home was even better as well and being at home the atmosphere was much more inviting to real connection and conversation. For a short moment it was silence, changing in laughter. I laughed as well. Indeed not a bad idea.

I think every company and I guess here every Thai thinks that you can earn lots money on coffee. Yes I think Starbucks indeed is a success story so far.

Where I live, on a daily base more and more coffee shops arise. Offering coffee nearly on every corner of the street it seems. As if everyone is longing to want to drink coffee every minute of the day. However, most shops remain empty most of the day.
And the clever concept of Starbucks seems to be more about being visible behind the large windows for others and the selfies that you can share on the social media than about the quality of the coffee. People hiding behind laptops or sucked into their tablets or I-Phones. More and more my experience is that ‘refined’ workspaces are offered where people do nearly not have face-to-face conversation, and holding their cardboard cups with large logo’s, are not even being aware they are drinking, enjoying and even tasting coffee. Willing to pay a lot.  

I think the young Filipino lady made a point. I remember how neighbors, the milkman, the baker and the farmer who once a week came to pick up the leftovers from the kitchen and dinners for his pigs, took a break and joined around my mother's table. Mom's 'coffee shop' was always open. Her super quality 'Koetosari coffee', yes, my father was once the main representative of it, praises and stories about everything that happened in our families, our environment, our country and also what was known that time about what was going on in the world. Yes, they each other and there was energy flow between them.

And that drinking coffee? That did not cost so much. Oh well, a special paper coffee filter, dune water from the tap, a little gas to boil the water and of course the beans milled by my oldest brother with the (hand) coffee grinder. You actually let people look in your kitchen and living room. Very normal hospitality at that time. Now that I type this, that blissful feeling comes back to me and I even smell the coffee again.

She is right that Filipino young lady, connection and saving money. A great and valuable thing to drink coffee at home with friends and acquaintances again. An invitation to taste, connect and have a good conversation about everything going on in your life and in the world around.
An answer to save money, enjoy even better coffee and restore connection and conversation.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, December 21, 2018

The craziness of Christmas only in Thailand?

Even my dog Kadhow lost the track. 

Plastic trees, no forest smell at all, shimmering balls not even to play, no invitation to pee. I tried to explain to him this has to do with the preparations for Christmas.

Christmas, Christmas, what the f… is Christmas in my country he seems to think looking at the unreal tree. He is a Thai Buddhist temple dog and does not understand a thing of it.

In recent years I see the phenomenon ‘Christmas’ in Thailand rising. Everywhere, in shopping malls, walking streets, restaurants, and so on an atmosphere of Christmas is tried to be created. Cashiers at Tesco Lotus are wearing Santa hats and music of ‘Let it snow’ for weeks already is playing in the hyper markets. Just besides, everybody is 100% sure snow will not at all fall with this 34 degrees Celsius temperatures at our place. So at least for me (and Kadhow) it is all a big joke and show.

Christmas, maybe it is shocking news, has to do with the meaning of the birth of Christ and so with Christianity as a religion. Wikipedia shows Christianity only represents max.1.2% of the national population of Thailand. And this number does not tell anything at all about the people of this small group who are really practicing. So why nearly everywhere Christmas decoration for already a long time?

Christmas has nothing to do with giving each other presents although there is an old story of three Kings / Wise man who offered Christ, still being a new born baby, gifts.

Christmas has to do with hope, peace, a new start, future, purpose of life, connection, a way to live, family (actually a great thing in Thailand), and much more. Not at all with buying things and marketing. Temporary happiness. That’s what people made of it. 

The craziness of Christmas only in Thailand? Not at all! Actually it is all over the world. Just another phenomena to make money so to sell. Creating an inviting 'celebrating' atmosphere. Do not think too deep. No need at all to know anything about the background. Just and only buy! A kind of "we create and also offer you the solution in relation to what you (do not) need". In my opinion missing the roots and only creating again an outside show to help people to buy.

Christmas, for me this way a bit a shame, more and more is only making the economy, and not our lives, happy.

Why my this weeks blog? Just an invitation to take the time to think a bit deeper or maybe even to contemplate. Do not believe all the show and campaigns, go back to the real roots.

I hope, for you I am wrong with my story (or maybe even you recognize it) and wish you a Merry Christmas.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, December 14, 2018

How to calm your thoughts down.

Many times during my former classes I got the question how to calm your thoughts down.
Last week again I got this question from a former guests. I think many people still are dealing with this question. And no, this is not a trick, you cannot do or learn it at once, it is a matter of continuous exercise. So, why not give it a try and start to manage this process and make it a routine for thoughts that keep on disturbing you.

So, how does it work?
You are aware of a thought that is disturbing you.

If you are aware of it you can look at it from a distance in a process of contemplating. It is a wonderful experience to recognize as a human being we have the opportunity to understand and that there are at least three roles or ‘actors’ in this process. The thought, you and the possibility to jump into the role of observer of what’s going on.

So in this situation actually you place yourself in the role of the observer of your thought process, taking some distance watching your thought. In this way it is not necessary to cling to that thought but you can let it go away as a cloud drifting away in the sky. You do not put your energy to it you only watch without judging. This is not as easy as it looks at first sight. It is a matter of training your mind.

How to only watch without judging?
# First thing you need to do is you observe your feelings. You can feel uncomfortable, anxious, worried, angry or whatever else. Contemplating you whisper to yourself: “I feel …. (just mention to yourself your specific feeling(s)) coming up. I do not want this feeling. I will let it go away.”
# Second you are aware this thought is just an only a thought. It creates just a feeling and has no matter in itself. So yes you can let it go.
# The third thing is that you need to understand that every thought, already your whole life long, is only temporary and not everlasting.
# After that, as the last fourth step, you need to understand this thought is not you. You are not the thought, neither are you the feeling. You do not have to let it affect you. So, let it go.

In Buddhist meditation we call this process Satipatthana.

Be aware and give it a try on a daily base to clear your mind and to become the master yourself, instead of your thoughts, of your own life.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, December 7, 2018

I missed Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Could have saved a lot of money. And... I did.

Yes indeed, I was too late!

Sometimes I am painfully reminded that my no longer being on the 'social' media, no longer reading newspapers, and almost no watching television has its drawbacks. Too late my sister painfully had to remind me that it had been Black Friday and Cyber ​​Monday already. I had missed it ... I could have saved myself so much money and all those discounts slipped between my fingers. Too bad.

Black Friday and Cyber ​​Monday? I had never heard of it and yet it seems to have kept many people in their grip. A form of super sale and certainly with the generally more expensive December month arriving this was a missed opportunity. Or wasn’t it?

It seems to be a, for me, again new marketing trick and just in my experience, yes, we kick in again. Because if you look a little bit deeper into that phenomenon, you may in all reasonableness wonder what actually is offered in those ‘super’ deals. Marketing helps you to believe that you cannot live without this offers or that you are crazy if you do not buy this things now (or never). Not having this things maybe even give you the idea you are not part of the ‘general group’ any longer. And that’s not what you want… It's only about buying, buying and even more buying. Whether or not you have the money for it and whether or not you need it (for me I just do NOT need it). It's good for the economy, and that certainly applies to all those personal loans companies who will earn big money on it again. What you get? Another temporary toy or thing. Many times even depths hard to get rid of because you have less money to spend and new arrivals will scream to buy them again.
Quickly you discover that what you bought is already out of date again and you will be reminded of perhaps a new phenomenon 'Saving Wednesday' (if it is not already there) that you can throw away your old junk better and exchange (buy again) for something new. After all, you need to be ‘up-to-date’ with for instance the technique you believe and are told by your friends

As my dog ​​shakes his fur regularly, I too did that. And indeed my fur is a bit thinner and still that shake caused me, just like with him, to notice with a smile on my face that I had not missed Black Friday and Cyber ​​Monday at all. I had saved lots of money. After all, I had not spent a single penny on it because I did not have the need or the desire to purchase something. I had and do not need this things to lead a super nice and valuable life.

What a relief and what a super good catch. Wake up. That call, or the offer to save as we believe, is no more than only shouting for investment. To buy and thereby to spend.

So I saved more than great! And to celebrate that soon I will experience Japan with my girlfriend. All because of missing out on these days, I have obviously saved that money now.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.