Even before we are born our feeling exist. Feeling connected with and in relation to living. Feelings are personal developed reactions in relation - and as a personal chosen response - to two main basic questions: “How to survive?” and “How to stay safe?”.
Our ratio (making choices/decisions out of calculating the relation between things out of learned facts, does not really exist yet. It has a relation to learning. We learn ratio.
“Learning is the act of acquiring new, or modifying and reinforcing, existing knowledge, behaviours, skills, values, or preferences and may involve synthesizing different types of information” (Source: Wikipedia).
Soon in life we start to learn and - without even being aware - are being programmed. Living and learning, so feeling and ratio, the first couple of years of our existence go together in balance hand in hand.
Sooner and sooner in life, driven by the expectations of our environment, culture, marketing (I see as cultivating desires), feeling in relation to living (so emotion) fades away and learning (ratio) takes a huge flight upwards.
Getting older, and maybe wiser, people discover that life cannot be calculated at all. They discover a lack of feeling and showing and freeing their emotion and lots of times they do not know how to deal with this. Strange to say, they have to learn it. Or maybe better to explain they have to un-learn the idea that everything in life can be treated only by ratio. They will find out more and more that only ratio will not sustainable connect in friendships and deeper personal relationships.
Management tools help us to understand there is a ‘muscular’ (basic male way of ratio and convincing/debate) and a ‘feminine’ (basic female way of emotional connecting and dialogue). But in our lives, when we really want honest and sincere connections, so no fake empathy, management ‘skills’ are not needed, not even wanted. There need to be a good mix and people have to be capable to use this mix in their authentic approach to situations.
So called ‘self-help books’ and magazines in relation to ‘health’, ‘relationship’ and ‘discovering yourself’, more and more give us the advice to act out of - and to follow - our heart instead of our rational thoughts. But is this really the best solution? Is this the real truth? What does it mean to follow your heart? Is it really possible? Is the heart the center of our emotions?
In a rational way, Mind Science teaches us our organ called brain, by evolution, is build up out of three brain types. The reptile brain part (survival instinct), the mammalian/animal brain part (feelings/emotions and memory formation) and the neocortex/human brain part (language, reasoning, logic and forward planning). And yes I know there is new knowledge as well. But let's take it for a while just to get more understanding.
The brain has two hemispheres. The right side of the brain deals more with verbal emotional (feeling) matters. The left side more with rational/logical ones. The inner ongoing battle between our ratio and emotion is caused by our human brain parts and the ‘fight’ between the two hemispheres. Ever seen a cat or dog suffering about his past or his future? I guess they live in connection with the now.
So not our heart but our brain is the general manager responsible to select a rational approach (choices in relation to our truth (thé truth most of the time is much more and bigger)) or the emotional (feeling/intuition/inner wisdom) approach.
Emotions are personal related and can be different for every person. The positive or negative feeling you get has to do with your pré- or sub-conscious mind. You learned to get this feelings in relation to known or unknown circumstances. So, maybe without even knowing, your feelings are reactions that you choose to have and not emotions that happen to you. During the first young years of your life and out of life experiences you ‘learned’ them yourself.
Being an adult or at least being ‘older’ you can ask yourself the question if this emotions still serve you in the best suitable way to grow, to connect, to share, to love and to enjoy life.
In personal-, as well as business life we need a balance in our response out of ratio and emotion. Getting older and having more life experience we discover living life is an art. We all have the tools inside us to deal with life. Nobody can calculate life. To live life it is to feel life. During growing up and building up our career we lost feeling. Getting it back is only a matter of un-learning.
Be aware of the choices in life that you already made (or out of their best intentions were made for you by your caretakers). So find the source of disturbing emotions and just stop/drop them. And yes, open your heart so you can give and receive inner energy but only change your thoughts.
Change the battle of suffering caused by choices to be made out of ratio or emotion. Make them a playful game of understanding.