Friday, October 26, 2018

The poverty of wealth

At the beginning of October I went six days with my friend Kadhow (my dog) by car from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and Pattaya. A period to celebrate a wonderful long weekend with my girlfriend.

We had booked a beautiful bed and breakfast adjacent to Bangkok city where Kadhow was more than welcome. A villa in a location between the city and the sea (Gulf of Thailand). Well better said a villa in a kind of green zone as part of this mega-sized metropolis. A unique experience to suddenly come to an oasis of peace from the extreme hectic on the busy Bangkok Friday afternoon. Rid of people crawling like ants in the streets, not outcast from noise.

The sound of 'very large birds' that left the international airport, sometimes it seemed nearly touching with their wheels the roof of the villa, kept us awake for a while. For Kadhow it felt like a long rehearsing New Year's Eve. Super early in the morning that same kind of big birds, yes even Dutch nationals in a KLM Boeing behind the windows, arriving.

Accustomed as I am getting up early I felt happy to go for a walk with my dog. Place enough and lots of new smells for him to discover. Both he and I incidentally had to regularly sneeze because of the air pollution that was sprayed over our heads every about two minutes and came over us from the ongoing heavy traffic from the city nearby.

In the green zoned spacious villas one even larger and more luxurious than the other. On the driveways car brands like Lexus, BMW, Porsche and Mercedes. Large high walls and heavy ornate wrought iron fences as entrance gate. At the corners of the walls around various villas security camera systems and even private surveillance. The 'park' itself already had surveillance so this was even extra and thin over.

Kadhow did not care. It was quiet on the street only the regular aircraft noise. Perhaps inside he had to laugh, walking with a big curl in his tail, because his pet-friends were looking at him from behind the fences and barking at him. He freely walked around happily. Not a single roommate coming to smell his ass.

It made me smile. What a poverty actually to have and want to live in this 'wealth'. In many cases only a fantastic 'success show' that says nothing about real happiness. Which, by the way, does not mean that these people may not experience optimal happiness in their own way. But to be able to celebrate this type of happiness every evening and night in a kind of prison… Happy for me not my way.

After the weekend I brought my girlfriend to Pattaya and together with Kadhow in two days I went back to Chiang Mai. In the evening I arrived safely after a nice driving adventure of about 2300 kilometers.

The next morning I woke up ... yes, by birds. This time smaller species that whistle their morning tunes. A big green scenery of the mountains and fresh air, especially at the end of the rainy season. No, indeed no sea in the neighborhood. I do not have a large villa either, no walls and a large steel ornamental fence and ... 'only' a Mazda not even on a private driveway.

What a wonderful long weekend the three of us got. Rich and worth repeating. Rich, yes, certainly at home. Grateful and without any reason to have to secure and build a wall around my ‘wealth’. No status, no position, just being myself. Experiencing happiness and enjoying life without stress, fame or the hunt any longer for success.
Something that I am extremely grateful for.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 19, 2018

No ‘bucket list’, no big wishes, any longer.

A couple of weeks ago I joined a fieldtrip with some other expats living here in Chiang Mai.
At a certain moment the talk was about the bucket list we still have in life and our wishes and desires.

If you are not familiar with it, a bucket list is a list of activities someone wants to do before he or she dies. It is a list of things a person wants to do before they "kick the bucket". A wish list.

To many persons surprise I told the group my bucket list is empty. No goals, no big dreams, no wishes any longer. Not at all saying I have had enough of living life. I am still enjoying and am happy if I can go on with it. 

Not having this list of things I want to do before I die gives me a lot of peace and rest. I am living and enjoying by the day. Small things. Just normal and spontaneous meeting people, walking around in nature and being aware of the magnificent energy, practicing the art of watching with my photo camera, being happy with the daily contact with my children, enjoying being together with my girlfriend if she is here, enjoying the company and playfulness of my dog, drinking a beer or wine, this kind of things.

Walking around in the forest I made a picture of this spider. Wandering this animal is also just willing to wait for the things that come. If he likes it he comes into action, if not, he leaves it alone. And he (or she) is sure every day will bring something. It is just the awareness of a change of tension in the web. Actually like fishing or hunting. Aware, at ease, and present.

Enjoying the day and being thankful and grateful every day again to get this new opportunity.

No striving, no running, I got already more than enough magnificent things in my life. And yes, I am willing and open to receive more but if not… it is all OK.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 12, 2018

Expect death and enjoy even more what life really is all about. What is the point of life?

It seems that my friends and acquaintances leave this world at an ever faster pace. Of course that has to do with my aging and maybe I should be happy in some way that I can still read the memorial messages.

Certainly after my decision to early quit my work, quite simply because I could not do that work after a heavy burn-out any longer, my life developed deeper in value and significance for me. I live and enjoy day to day. It is a change in attitude that helped me to feel fulfillment now nearly every day. What matters for me is consciousness and its content.
Regularly I tell people; "I no longer have medication for high blood pressure. I can only remember stress. And if the sun does not rise for me tomorrow, whatever other people think of it, then at least I have lived life the fullest.'

For me, the deeper value and meaning of life certainly has to do with the fact that the theme 'death' has taken a normal and conscious place in my life. Just like birth is part of it. It is nothing you have to push away. By being aware of it, I automatically put a lot more emphasis on things that really matter in my life and I enjoy living life even more.  

The statement that I often see on mourning cards and in mourning advertisements of he or she died 'completely unexpectedly' made me think last week. How can you die completely unexpectedly? Isn’t is an established fact? Actually you cannot even expect it, you have to count on it. And of course I know how it is meant, but it is not a bad idea to look at it and to contemplate on it in a literal way during your life time. It can be a mirror to enjoy LIVING life more and you may be less concerned about all the things that are bothering you so much. Do they actually really matter and worth consuming your night rest and energy?
Stop wasting your life away. Ask yourself if you really, from your inside, care about the right things.

Birth and death belong to the life circle. As is sometimes nicely expressed, they are 'inextricably connected’. Nobody can escape from it. You will, very sure and do not possible to escape, pass away. High or low in 'status' (I increasingly laugh about it), 'poor' or 'rich'. And although you can insure against it (actually strange because it is not a risk but a fixed fact), the curtain falls at any moment and you cannot take anything with you. You came with nothing and you leave with nothing.
Be prepared and aware of it so that you can make much easier choices in your life. Choices that make lighter and freer like the butterfly on the picture. Choices that you may enjoy, if you are honest with yourself, more.

Death is certain. The moment is not fixed and that makes it popular for others to say it was ‘completely unexpected’ to face actually always expected death.
Ever thought about the fact that after today your life is already one day shorter? That is also common to everyone. No escape. And how long that life is ... For most of us that is still unknown and it only does not seem to be in sight yet. The practice can be different and deceive.

In my experience it helps to live in a way being aware you do not die unexpectedly and that the moment always and soon can be there for you. For me it is a support to be even more thankful enjoying the value of life. Mostly not being disturbed any more by things that in the past bothered me a lot.

Expect death and enjoy even more what life really is all about. Maybe ask yourself: "What for me is the point of life to experience fulfillment?". You still now have the chance...

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Happy New Year 2057. You cannot start celebrating your hundredth birthday early enough.

Government and pension funds tell us that we are getting older. We therefore think that we have to work longer because that is the idea that is suggested and stimulated. After all, you have to do more and more and much longer to achieve the deadline of a full pension.

Feeling convenient with it, we do not even think about the idea and personal decision to stop earlier with working and start with doing earlier things we want to do (more) that are even dearer to us. Commerce and marketing, after all something has to be earned by others as well, are happy and already willing to offer us a ‘helping hand’ in the process.

By chance I discovered a New Year's wish for 2057 on the internet. The year in which I hope to become 100 years young. And although I am at least, so far I feel today, healthy I think it is a bit premature. However, this 2057 New Year’s wish strengthens me in the spirit of the saying: 'Hope springs eternal', so that's what I like to do.

On the other hand…, who knows with all the ups and downs of this stressful and faster digital time, the government at a certain time will adjust its vision downwards.

So therefore, every day coming a step closer towards my one hundred years (or who knows even older) birthday, I already started to celebrate by the day.

In my opinion you cannot start early enough to already celebrate your hundredth birthday. And now that I am still healthy I can already toast from day to day on a, indeed rather prematurely, and by the day more realistic, happy 2057.

And for that matter, for my two kids, I found the New Year cards for their 100th birthday too. I think they should have even more chance to reach it than I do.

Happy New Year 2057? Come on. Happy day!

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.