Friday, September 6, 2013

Being nothing... makes you everything

In our world today it looks like it's all about 'being something'. A kind of 'ranking' within our system. Protruding with our head, just a bit above ground level. Although that may be dangerous as I know by experience.

Previously I have written that I am very grateful for the encouragement that I  always have had from my parents and my education. They thought and saw that there was 'more'. Which ever intermediate 'exits or junctions' I accessed on my path, they frequently brought me on another track. It was a trail of one step at a time, both within my education as well as in my jobs and positions, higher and more.

Through this step by step way, which I now often call Kaizen, I've been 'granted access' in various 'circles' or groups. I felt at home everywhere and was, as I hear now more often from people around me, always who I still am, "Changed in no way." However the 'circles' on the other hand, labeled me frequently as 'odd man out'. Someone who speaks his mind, a jester, who often said what others only dare to think. Inherited from my mother who was an actress, in whatever costume or layers of makeup she was covered, her real 'self' never hiding.

The story I heard, combined with my experience with Khun Wang, raised the question to me why we always need to be someone or something?

For years I was pretty proud of my uniform or civil suits in which I walked. "Feathers make fine birds," a known saying of my mother. And yes, I still think that's true. And yet there is something extraordinary behindit so I learned in the story and from Khun Wang.

A lot of people I know wear, to support their role or position, a kind of uniform. Whether it's a suit, a nice dress or real uniform. They are 'something' and they show it for that reason even more.

However, in most cases they shine only on the outside. They are busy throughout the day, from their own desire or the expectations they think the outside world has of them. To keep that beautiful plumage in position That takes a lot of energy. Which is absolutely not good for your health. And, another saying from my childhood; If you are on a high step on the ladder, you can also fall very deep

Here in Thailand, I get more and more great contacts with people who do not have the least of positions in the (international) business and governmental world. Awesome, nice profiles, studied a lot, amazing stories, enormous networks. And yes, it's true. I can also speak for myself.

And I now shaken awake, by their stories, is that outward displays make them absolutely not happy. Rather just vulnerable, sad and exhausted. Private stories that I will save you from. But I can tell you that they are often deeply sad. And on the outside ... they exude unbridled happines.

They work harder (they ‘must do’ by their own will) and present themselves to the outside world with ever more ostentation. And while they are often actually live on the inside a "broken home" life. Covered up good, though. A gigantic heavy burden they carry along on their shoulders. But ‘The show must go on’ ...

Khun Wang has nothing of all that. He is ‘nothing’ and he owns actually nothing. A state of 'nothingness'. But nothing makes him everything!

He is and remains human. He can, just like everyone else eventually take nothing with him. No one is hitting on him. Why would you envy him. He even shares what he doesn’t have, cold tea and some tropical fruit 'Dragon Eyes' from his garden.

He owns nothing and has nothing to hide. He does not participate in the 'game', has no antennae around him in order to keep an eye on who could cause him harm. He is open and therefor he enjoys everything around him. The other, in my experience real form of attention. And the best part is, you can always visit him and walk right into his ‘livingroom’. He always has time for you and is genuinely interested. He doesn’t, no he even need to get anything out of it.  He  just 'is'.

I remember them from the past as a child, people in the neighborhood who were 'nothing' and were always there. I remember them from everywhere I moved later on. Those people who, without ever asking, always were there gave what they had and have. ‘Voluntary work' they call it . Those people, who are supposedly ‘nothing’ to the (un) real world are the ones who are doing it perfectly right in my eyes.

Thankfully they’re still there. Those real warm open and sincere people who just always and only are there. Yes, they just are ...

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”