Friday, September 30, 2016

How to find your ‘Self’? A wonderful reflection expedition.

Recently I worked with a guest on the theme; “Looking for your Self”. What is this ‘Self’? Actually an important question. Many people are on the search to find their ‘Self’. Be aware this is not a one-time deal. It’s a life time ongoing wonderful practice.

Every morning before we go to work, before we go to school or wherever we want to go, most people look at the mirror. They brush their teeth and of course, maybe not even really aware, they look at the mirror. When we look at the mirror we look at … our Self!

‘Self’ we can find in many words. Myself, himself, herself, themselves. Some people call this self the EGO. Some people call it the habitual mind. Because you tend to think habitually in a certain way. Or some people call it the “ego-mind”. Not the real mind it’s the ego-mind, the egoistic mind.

Buddhism says in several Sutra’s the Self is the five aggregates. The five aggregates are:
  • Body / material form
  • Conception / Sensation / feeling
  • Perception
  • Volition / Will / Desire / Mental Formation and
  • Consciousness

The five aggregates are our burden, they cause suffering, because we are clinging to them, but at the same time they provide us with the indispensable soil of wisdom. To bring suffering to an end we have to turn our attention around and see into the nature of the aggregates.

Body is body (skin, skeleton, internal organs, etc.)
Conception, Perception, Volition and Consciousness is the spiritual part of it. Is the mind.

So the “Self” is a combination of Body and Mind.

Who are we? What is the self? It’s our personal unique combination of body and mind. That includes everything. Your physical body, the material part of it, the molecules, the body cells. But other than the material part there is also the spiritual part. That’s your perception, your conception, your volition, your consciousness.

The spiritual part of the self is an important concept. Some people see it as connection with the ongoing (cycle of Samsara) soul.

Do you understand yourself? Can you control yourself?
If people say they can control themselves, how can they become mad? How can they become jealous? How can they become greedy? How can they commit crime? How can they hurt other people or animals? How can they torture animals or human beings?

Everything becomes so personal around us when we grab / cling onto the Self. By not letting go of it our suffering, anger, all our imagined shortcomings, jealousy, hatred, anxiety, doubt, egoistic feelings, your obstinacy, etc., arise.

These things in our daily lives torture us. You blame somebody else for it. Your brothers and sisters, your parents, your friends, your colleagues, your work. You blame the society but not yourself. You never blame yourself.

We take our thoughts, emotions and experiences so personally that the Self has become the underlying attachment to all things. Whether they are material or spiritual. We are attached to a strong element of Self in everything we think.

Everything about Me, Mine, I. In daily communication the word that is used the most is “I”, “Mine”, “Me”. This “I”, “Mine”, “Me”, is all egoistic. Will I gain? Will I lose? Is it fair for me? Is it good for me? This is mine. I have the right. I have my privacy.
You always try to cherish and protect yourself.

This constant attempt to satisfy the Self makes us very vulnerable. This vulnerable Self always require a wall of protection and the gathering of energy to sustain that protection. As a result we are increasingly fearful of losing things and increasingly uncertain that if things will not work out our way. We have anxiety. “When I finish university will I get a job?”,  “If I get married, will I get a divorce?”, “Now I am married will I get a broken home?”. All this anxieties, all this vulnerability, that’s suffering. They torture us. Why? The Buddha unfolded that to us more than 2500 years ago.

He teaches us to look at our Self. To the situation we are in. Learning to know yourself we call it Self-reflection. It takes courage and wisdom to live the mystery of the Self and go beyond it to see who we actually are. To reduce the Ego and to make room to contemplate on the truth. This self-reflection we call meditation. So this self-reflection allows us to an attitude to let go of attaching to the Ego and look at it without judgment and deception/dishonesty. 

So we need to look for the Self. To look beyond the Self. But the irony is that when you start to look for the Self you cannot find it! You cannot tell or show where your Self is, like you cannot show the place where your soul is. But as everybody knows when a person passed away the body stays and the soul is gone…

Can you find your Self? Is it a color? Is it a shape? Is it a triangle? Is it a rectangle? Where is your Self? When you look for the Self… where is it? When you look for it your response will be… “I can’t find it!”
It’s an irony, it’s like a ghost. It’s like a ghost that dominates your house. You cannot find the ghost. But your house is tidy and neat…So it must be possible to find it. But you can’t find the ghost. That ghost is hunting you. That ghost of egoism. That ghost of the polluted Self. It’s hunting you and you do not know about it.

Usually when we meditate we meditate sometimes on questions and contemplate on it. Questions like “Who is meditating?”, “Who is chanting?”, “Who am I before I am born?”, “What is real in all the changes I am in?”, “Is there anything constant, that does not change when you change your circumstances you are in? Your weight, skin color, height, country of origin, job? What is the unchanging in it?”
We use these kind of questions, as techniques, to start to look for the Self. To try to understand the Self.

But the Self is not real. It’s just an emotional attachment. It’s greediness, anxiety, fear, depression, ignorance. They are not substantial / significant, they are insubstantial / weak. They all arise and interact with the outside world. When we meditate we can actually see through this seemingly solid Self. But what are we left with after meditation? We are left with an opening intelligent awareness.

When we look at the Self; “Who am I?” What we got left with is this awareness. In other words we know that there is a Self but that Self cannot be found. That Self has been responsible for all that you have done so far.

You want to solve that ‘problem’ of your Self? You look at that. If you want to solve the ‘problem’ you have to look deeply at the root of the problem.
You want to know why people kill, why people steal, why people commit sexual misconduct, why people smoke, why people drink intoxicants?
Don’t look at the superficial actions that they do. You look of the why they do it. Look for the cause, the source.
You go to the deeper. How do I change that? How can I get rid of this clinging? Because I do not want a life wasting my time and energy to go on making myself any longer vulnerable, anxious, fearful, suffering and torturing.

Reflect on your Self and free your Self. The basic condition of happiness.

(credits: Buddhist University Wat Suan Dok, The International Buddhist Temple, The Manual of Peace)    

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

Friday, September 23, 2016

The limitation of the truth by our eighth sense.

A personal discovery to share.
To connect with the outside world we got our five main senses (watching, listening, smelling, tasting and touching). You can see them as your salesmen. Without even asking them they bring you, wanted or unwanted, information about the world around. Marketing (cultivating desires) a lot of times in a tricky and 'creative' way make use of them.
We can use this five senses to be (more) aware of the so called ‘present moment’, the here and now. And when you use your energy to be 100% present you can call that being mindful.

What I learned out of Buddhism is there are more than this five senses everybody knows. If we see our manifestation as ‘a company’ it makes it easier to explain and understand the three more senses who actually are of great influence to the way we respond to our outside world.

The sixth sense is our mind. You can see it as the General Manager of our existence. The mind is always available for us to help us so that nothing can go wrong. Without even knowing the mind is always present to help us to stay safe and to survive in any situation where we and up.

The seventh sense is our Ego. The director(s) of our company. There is nothing wrong with having an ego (sometimes it can be a sad experience to see how some people behave with their ego). Without an ego we cannot even exist. Our ego helps us to be part of and connect as the one we are with our environment and with other people.

Lots of people show up as different ‘directors’ in different situations. Plenty of times their acting behavior is related to their role or task. Often you hear that a person acts and reacts different at the workplace then at home or being together with friends. This actually shows that the ego is playing a game not to show who a person really is. You only have one personality but are able to show up in different situations in a different way by using your ego. So the person a lot of times is only acting in relation to his/her role or circumstances he or she is in. Sometimes I ask myself why people talk about a private life and a work life. Doesn’t both have to do with living life? Why is it necessary to show up different or to act as another person you really (authentic) are. Using our ego to express a higher status to other people can be a disgusting show. Narcissists even use their ego to fulfill their need for admiration to protect themselves against personal fear in lack of self-esteem.

The eight sense (shown as the laptop in the picture on top) is formed by our stakeholders. They formed our programming and are stored in our unconsciousness. The influences of our parents and ancestors, masters in life, culture, environment, religion and life experiences. We learned to live with it and they formed the base for our judging and labeling. Unaware we give this things attention and everything you give attention grows. So automatically we deal with this influences to scan all the situations we are in and to connect with the outside world giving us an idea of what is good or what is wrong (for us). Our eighth sense is helping us to judge and to label and so to form our truth. Not being open and willing to accept that your truth is true but the truth is much bigger than only your truth. 

Many years I worked in a political environment. An environment of debate and convincing or at least trying to reach a compromise. But there is no compromise, there is only a bigger truth. It's very hard working, sometimes even a fight, to change your outside world to your expectations. 

To feel more comfortable in the world around, it is not necessary to change the outside world. This can be a hard job to do with harmful effects.

It’s easier to take the time to look deeply into the situation we are in. To ask ourselves what is the source of not feeling comfortable or connected. We will find this has a lot to do with our programming, our eighth sense. We can ask ourselves if this source in programming is still serving us in the situation we are in or, if not, if we can change or skip this part of our programming. It’s much easier to change ourselves than our environment.

Be aware we have a deeper connection with our outside world than you maybe ever thought. 

Do not let your programming make yourself unwilling to discover your truth is true but the truth much bigger. What an enlightenment ;)!

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

Friday, September 16, 2016

About work-life balance. Learn to manage (and balance) your own life first before you start managing.

Already over 10 years ago I got the opportunity to participate in the course: "Personally functional leadership". An experience that has made a significant contribution to the fact I now live and work in Thailand and totally changed my life and life style. It offered me lots of insights. One of them was that - despite all my degrees, my management experience, the great responsibility that I wore in managing our organization and in international crisis and disaster management and relief - I could hardly manage my own life properly. A lack of work-life balance and the discovery that private life is hardly to “manage” with the use of learned “work-management tools”. You need different ‘skills’. Actually (even more) authentic natural personal connection and the art of listening in family relationship.

Two weeks ago, after my first morning class, there was a young woman from the Czech Republic who joined me on my walk back to my house. She had a personal question. For a period of time already she had a relationship with her, now 38 years old, boyfriend. It worked out he used to work day and night for the company. On weekends, when the firm he worked for was closed, he did not feel really at ease ... and so… went to work. She called him a workaholic and felt that their relationship was at stake. Because in his opinion he did not have - or would not take - the time to go on vacation together, work after all called him as priority, she finally had decided to award herself with her personal gift to take “me-time” for a week and to stay at our ‘purifying body and mind resort’. But still, she did not really feel comfortable with her decision and the situation she was in, otherwise this theme was not bothering her during her holidays.

She asked me, because she knew a little bit of my background, if I had loved my previous work. Whether it gave me energy, and if I had fun in doing the things I did that time.
I wholeheartedly admitted. I added to this that I still feel passion, engagement and inspiration for that job and that there are things going on in my former organization now that still hurt me a lot.

She went on questioning why I resigned or quit with my job, still giving me a lot of satisfaction, and what this decision did to me. She invited me to give her some tips and/or tricks. Perhaps she could help her boyfriend with them. She wanted to get some tools to help her strengthen their relationship or at least give more work – life balance for him.

I explained to her that she actually, in my opinion, could hardly help her boyfriend with this issue. He had to find out himself. The age of 38 is a perfect age (mid-life crisis) to do. The natural moment in life you start dealing with the question: “What is my life all about?”

It is a natural process after studying people start their careers. In it, there are many who go for reaching “the top” (now I understand this cost you a lot of effort and energy and over and over again you will discover, being “on top”, a new “top” arises. There is no end. Reaching “the top” is an ego driven matter actually not satisfying at the long run. Often leaving a trail of destruction in your personal and family life behind.  
Be aware you are already at the top if you learn to LIVE life. There is nothing to attain. When you really live life every day you reach a destination. Hold there, turn around, be proud of yourself (reaching the top of today), breath in and breath out, what did you learn? Today is the day to make the next first step on the path called living. You do not encounter yourself on the way to the top, but - most of the time in a very hard and confronting way - on your way to the valley. 

Questions or comments like; "What are you living for?", "What is the purpose of your life?", "Do you live to work or do you work to live?", "Who are you?", "What inspires you in life?" "What would you do if you even have to live for three more months?" are questions that do not plop up in most people’s mind in this season of their lives and career.

And in this situation and period of career life, maybe it sounds crazy or sad, we mainly only stick on all kind of problems we think we need to solve, and that devour our energy. We barely have sight, no, we hardly award ourselves time, to enjoy all those freely available things (the many wonders of life) that give energy to us. And yes, in many cases, this causes suffering in our personal/family love and relationship. If children are born, so a family life really starts, positions in the pyramid of unconditional love change. Children immediately are on top. If responsibilities in work getting more, big chance this also takes its toll in the personal / family / love relationship.

I married my work and my already for many years ex-wife.
In my personal life, for example, the over-commitment and availability for my work, and a period in the nineties of insecurity - to attempted kidnapping and threats to our home address -, are certainly to blame for my marriage broke up.
Work – Life balance faded further and further away. And to be honest maybe work also increasingly offered the opportunity to escape myself. A kind of fear to come home to myself, to listen to my real inner voice, not the voices in my head (I thought they were mine) from parents, ancestors, relationships, masters in my life. Voices in relation to my programming.
I married the fire-brigade, my work, and showed it the day of our marriage. That time it looked fun but we married in an old and famous fire-truck. Thinking about this now it already showed the seed for a disturbed work - life balance was there. 

In other words, wake up, something goes wrong! But I, Frans Captijn as a member of the Captijn family, would just show the world that I had everything under control. So… no way. This thought and the related actions were a big mistake. Grateful and thankful I got a second chance getting my traffic accident in the Dutch Westerschelde tunnel (a friend reminded me 'the deepest spot in the Netherlands') to discover I had a huge burn-out. Why always waiting for this kind of experiences??? Do not take life (or second chances) for granted!

It's all happening in our minds.
Now I have been given the insight that I only thought I did a great merit by my commitment, and that I was actually indispensable. What I did not see was I excessively consumed my inner energy without sufficient recharging. My living and working habitat (missing grant factors and underwater profiles/different agendas) had great impact on this energy draining. And yes, my ego played tricks with me.
The words of my father: "If you are part of the Captijn family, remember this. When we start with something we finish it". Right! A great quote. I just did not realize that several times I was already finished. One of my strengths is I am good at executing change. After that change other type of people were needed. But I did not recognize this at that moment. I knew my passion but did not know enough my mission. I did not let go.
I was not essential or indispensable. Except for just my relationship, my family and a number of dear friends they were true. After all I nearly lost them all! Wake up!

Too many beautiful things slipped away. Just because my behavior of being too much connected with work. I did not take time for example to see the balance in nature.All this things always were there for me but I did not, no, did not take the time to see that what I was doing / ruining only was driven by my thoughts and ego. And exactly this makes me even more grateful for my life (style) change here in Thailand.

We are (make ourselves) so busy that we hardly take time for the people who love us, or even to think about ourselves. Our society is so organized that if we want to take that time, immediately we get an offer by i-phone helping us NOT to do it. To go on with the steady ‘feed’ of information of the outside world. There are many ways we can escape ourselves….

We cannot manage our own lives and starting to do that is the first step. Before any career or before any position we want to share what we have on the inside.

Participants in our programs are urged to give a rest to their mobile phone and other supporting media equipment and/or devices throughout our programs. In the majority of cases, first this is shown to be a huge task. What about mastering your own life sometimes I ask myself? So far in all cases it worked out to be a wonderful experience afterwards. It re-claims conversation and personally connection.

Our life is too much filled with suffering or worrying about all sorts of problems we (a lot of time only) think it is our task to solve. We lack the idea much amazing free miracles are available for us.
The choice to leave that matter or to give it attention is finding the balance. Balance is movement. This movement is consuming energy but also giving energy.

Your choice to stay in and constantly face the “workaholic mode”? No problem. At an unexpected moment your body takes over the ruling of your life. You “only’ create some new (mental and physical) problems to manage. Hospitals, doctors and psychologists enough who are willing to receive the money you “earned” for them…
You better hope, like me, you afterwards get a chance to find out that there is only one goal in life and that is LIVING. Do not wait too long…

And in relation to the young Czech woman? I praise her she had the guts to choose her own health and balance, and to manage her own life. What's it worth living? If you do not take care of yourself first, and that’s not an egoistic thought, you cannot be there for 100% for the world around you. For yourself, your relationships, your family, your environment, your career and your work.

Start managing your life first, find the right work – life balance. Stop your general excuses. They are only in your head. It’s just a matter of choice. 

(picture I took from a picture at the 6th floor corridor of the Fusionsuites hotel Saigon, Vietnam, September 10 2016)

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight
Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

Friday, September 9, 2016

Our privacy and the “happiness illusion shows of life”. The power of Selfies.

A few weeks back a lot of commotion. On Facebook messages appeared intending Facebook announced that; “Everything you've ever posted becomes public from tomorrow. Even messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed.” Channel 13 news (I've never heard about this channel but it is certainly an unlucky number ;) ) talked about the change in the Facebook privacy policy.
By posting a statement on your profile you would again be “safe’ and your privacy guaranteed.

It turned out this post only was a – rapidly spreading - joke. It was one of a number of viral Facebook hoaxes, presumably created entirely for the enjoyment of the joker. Lots of people worrying about their loss of privacy shared this statement, not knowing it was a hoax.

This week I was sent  a very short funny YouTube video of a man, taking selfies of his wife and himself, during an argument she had with him. He used taking selfies to calm her down and to show how happy and living with a bright smile, they were together.

The combination of these two events gave me the idea to share this blog about the illusion of privacy and the happy life we see in today’s digital, and ‘social’ media world.

The question I asked myself was; “Do we still have any privacy?”
The neighbors who sometimes kept a watchful eye on us do not disturb our privacy anymore. They are so attached to their mobile phones that they hardly are interested in the things that are going on next door. However, with this loss we do not have our privacy back.

My observation and experience is we lost it already a long time ago. It’s only an illusion, something in our mind, think we still have her. Especially living as a Dutchman abroad, you experience it is not just ‘Big brother’ keeping an eye on us. There are many smaller ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ who do as well. And we (or others are willing to do it for us) only nourish all the systems that support us in the loss of our privacy. A continuous process. Confronted with this suddenly, as with the fake messages on Facebook, we grumble or we try to ensure that our privacy is “safe”. But we already lost her ... It's too late to get back our privacy (I think).
It was and is our own free choice and responsibility to share things on, for example, Facebook. Social media we - only be aware of it – we can use for free (or we have the freedom to choose not to use it any longer. Something otherwise that does not enhance privacy any longer.

All over the world we leave our prints. By traveling (global traceable connection of our i-phones), purchases (pay by credit card), behavior (cameras at work, in public, in stores, etc.), social media (showing and telling the bright side of life and the continuous identification of places we are or we’re going), personal messages about you on the internet about you (whether true or false) easy to find on Google for example.
In short, it’s very easy to track us and to learn everything about us.
In the world we live in is, perhaps unfortunately, it is nearly not possible any longer to hide things or to be more private.

And why not share life like it really is? What actually is there to hide? Hiding things even makes other people curious. Hiding therefore is an impulse that makes others active to find creative ways to find out what is going on (and in many cases - out of their own experience and truth - distribute their own story).

Everyone has long been a master in the knowledge that life is not only fine, nice and fluffy. Not only love and light. There are always two sides, two faces. There is light and dark in all things. But in the vast majority of cases only the bright side is shown. Being afraid of what other people possibly think about in our opinion the less fortunate circumstances in our lives.
And yes, we have and are unique personalities. We are not unique at all, that’s only in our mind, in the things we are worrying about or affect us negatively; Job loss, broken relationships, illness, perhaps, no peace of mind.

The growing recognition that I have in what goes on in the lives of many people, gave me the insight to believe the beautiful stories on social media less and less, often simply no more. The fantastic stories and beautiful photos full of wide smile veil regularly the underlying truth. They only show the 'perfect' show. And; “The show must go on”.

When you believe everything what you see or read at Facebook, there nearly should not be a world of suffering anymore. How different everybody’s experiences…

I thought, therefore, being afraid of losing our 'privacy' maybe has to do with the fear of showing in public the less sunny side of our life (And again, we are not unique like our life, everyone’s life has a story).
And thus we may miss quite a few chances. Chances to get some free help, creative insights, new directions to find, etc.. for those problems or circumstances we are facing. After all our problems are not unique. For free, not mend to be a nosy or interfering way of others, we can get people who are willing to be available. To offer a helping hand to support flow in our lives again. It still remains a free personal choice whether or not to accept possibilities. After all; Forever friends, right?
For example. Why keep secret you've lost your job? Many contacts in the social network are willing to help in a creative way or to find new solutions. Being available and showing compassion in hard times give expression of faith or positive energy at a time when you really could use it.

If you feel down, you have a lack of energy to emerge and to keep the faith in yourself high. Your truth to ideas or solutions is only part of what's possible to solve things. The missing link, so far, is not available. Other people, who maybe once had to deal with the same circumstances, have a different view because the can observe from a distance and are not involved in the problem themselves. So they do not have to deal with your emotion. This sometimes makes it much easier to come with things you did not face yet.

You ever heard the quote: ".. Dare to ask."? You can use social media in your life for good and bad times. Dare to share your life so you open yourself (instead of hiding) in difficult situations or periods to others. It is showing a willingness to dare to receive. You connect honestly with others and take responsibility together for real and as happy as possible living. There is nothing to hide.

And I hear people think ... and what about you Frans?
I feel very grateful and thankful to be able to live a super fine and connected life. That absolutely does not say that I only have had happy experiences. Like many others, I too lost my job, I had to deal with heartbreak in love, divorce, setbacks in life, threats and attempted kidnapping, and - still, after six years - repetitive effects of my burnout. Several of those experiences I shared already in my weekly blogs. Just to grow by sharing insights. It made and makes me stronger. The best thing in my life might be, and those people who really know me recognize for sure, is that I always kept and keep my inner 'jester' alive. A day without laughter is a day wasted.
I have nothing to hide. And if you type my name in google ... you get quite a few stories about me. Enjoy this "story's" mostly penned by others about me. I'm the only one who knows my truth and I am happy to live with them.

Enjoy the constant illusion shows of privacy and happy lives at ‘social’ media. Often laugh and read them with a bit of unbelieve in the belief that the truth can be just a bit different. And if you are arguing in your relationship for a short while about… (lots of time nothing) …just take a Selfie of both of you together. Not to show you are happy but to calm down and be happy ;)

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight
Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

Friday, September 2, 2016

Listen to your free and powerful personal counselor. The black crow on your shoulder.

In the Western world death is a taboo. People have problems with death and do not want to think about it. So many times they live as if they are never going to die and die as if they never lived.

Nearly for four and a half year I am living now in a different culture, Thailand. In this culture death is just a normal and accepted part of the ongoing life- and personal development cycle. The never ending repetitive cycle of birth, life (living your mission and growth of inner wisdom), death (to free yourself of the temporary structure - your body - you make use of to make it possible to take the next step), rebirth, and so forth. They call it in this South-East Asian culture the Cycle of Samsara.

And because death it is a totally normal and accepted part of life it is a powerful counselor. And not only this. It also can be a great guide in helping us to see and experience things in perspective so they are harming us less or do not even harm. 

In our lives we suffer a lot. We have to deal with all kind of ‘problems’. We feel upset and agitated about things. We can be confused and do not know what decision to make. We feel uncertain, etc.. 
Why not turn our head to the left shoulder and ask our ‘blackbird’ for advise? Just be aware of your black crow (death) because he/she IS part of your life and always available and a willing counselor to help you to make better personal decisions. 

“In a world where death is the hunter, my friend, there is no time for regrets or doubts. ... “You have little time left, and none of it for crap.”
Carlos Castaneda

Ask yourself: If I only have to live another four weeks would I be so excited about this case or this problem? Would it bother me the way I am bothering myself about it now? Would I even invest my valuable energy in it?

We are masters in creating our own illusions that causes harmful feelings and insomnia. Ask yourself what all your suffering, worrying, doubt, etc., really already helped you in living life so far? You created all this energy consuming things only in your mind. Helping you to disturb your life.

Another helpful thing of our personal black crow?
It shows us the ridiculous hunting behavior to our desires and the clinging on them. About our fight for getting status and position What about status and position? Aren’t we all the same? One of the main sources of our suffering is a false belief in permanence, Death shows us nothing is permanent. Everything is only temporary.

We leave this world with nothing. No medals, no rewards, no success, no failure.”
Nan Huai Chin.

Be aware of your black crow. Be willing and invite this bird to be more often your free personal counselor.

If you understand the phenomenon "death" for sure you will live a better, healthier and full life. And maybe you will start to be alone, meaning All-One.

The poem "Fully Alone" of the book: "Flowers of Shanidar" tells: 

Fully Alone

When I live partially
I have lots of company

When I live fully
I am alone
In the best of company

Live your treasure now.

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”