Friday, December 25, 2015

School does not prepare you for life. Thai schools have a different approach.

A couple of weeks ago I met and worked with a man living in the USA. He told me his son and daughter both had a university degree. He was proud of that. Also he was sad because they were struggling with and in life because, in his opinion, they were not prepared for living life.

"Working now for a couple of years they both discovered that they are working in a system. They build up knowledge at schools and university in a certain direction to serve this system but did not learn life skills. They have had so many years of education yet nobody taught them how to live life. The most important thing is to make something of life. School does not prepare you for life. There are prepared directions to choose but most of the time they do not serve all the talents and gifts that are available in the individual children. Parents, more and more, are not available to teach children life skills because they both have to work to earn money for living the live the life they think brings them the most happiness. 

Children, already at a very early age, go to kindergarten. There is no or not enough time for children anymore to develop. 'Street University', as the learning place for life skills, is fading away more and more.The school system is about read, remember and repeat. Digital 'baby sitter' and 'au-pair' devises keep the children connected so they do not disturb life of the parents too much. But learning life skills...? Basic things how to survive and how to stay safe in life are not available in most of our school systems. Less and less resilience is available to adapt to the thing called living."  

Listening to his story I recognized a lot. Schools, in my opinion, most of the times and in our so called civilized world are only preparing to support 'the system'. Sometimes I even think we are not more than our National Citizen Service Number to support and bring in money into this system. And yes, being a member of a community you have to support. But where to learn life skills and to develop all your talents and gifts. I think this American guest was not wrong in telling the Western School system is poor in learning life skills. 

Scouting in Thailand part of the school curriculum. 
Thailand shows a way of learning life skills at school. They introduced Scouting as part of the school curriculum, open to boys and girls of all religions. Scouting receives strong support from the Thai government and people. Even the Royal Family are keen members. The present monarch, King Bhumibol (Rama IX), is the Chief Scout and under his patronage, Scouting has flourished in Thailand, and continues to develop many programs to fulfill the needs of its young people and of the country. 

Schools in Thailand are free to choose the day of the week that is Scout day. Students come to school wearing their Scout uniform. After morning assembly they have inspection. Then later in the day they meet as a Pack or Troop or as a year group and learn about Scouting from books or through practical activities. All of these activities are adapted to the challenge of change and aimed at a strong sense of services according to Scouting Fundamentals, to develop individual physical fitness, life skills and a good moral mind so that Scouts become good citizens who can take responsibility for themselves, their families and their society.

Because Scouting is part of the school curriculum, the students have to sit an exam at the end of each term.

Thai Scouts participate in a variety of training activities during the year concerned mainly with national development and public services which include cleaning up public areas, first aid, traffic control, disaster-relief, summer public services and particularly the environmental and natural conservation.
Thai Scouting has received much publicity due to its impressive work during emergencies. Such work includes taking part in ambulance and first aid teams, helping the Fire Brigade and assisting in flood control.

Happy my children joined scouting a couple of years. Proud on the people who serve this groups and I think more and more necessary to close the growing gap of not being prepared for living life. 

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, December 18, 2015

Profile pictures back to 'normal' again. When you kill your enemies the world will change.

On the evening of 13 November 2015, a series of coordinated terrorist attacks occurred in Paris, the capital of France, and its northern suburb, Saint-Denis. The attackers killed 130 people. There were 368 injuries. Seven of the attackers also died. Wikipedia mentions the attacks were the deadliest on France since World War II, and the deadliest in the European Union since the Madrid train bombings in 2004.

People from all over the world seemed to be upset. Is this the world we are living in? What about our freedom? Lots of debates and dialogues about this theme. Do we have to go on with introducing more protection mechanism to feel safe (again)?

Lots of expressions to support France and Paris to show we are standing shoulder on shoulder in the so called war against terrorism. One of the expressions was the change of profile pictures on social media. To show this is not what we want. Unfortunately it did not change the world. And yes, the world eeds a change. But…

The world does not change by itself. Only we can make the difference and change the world by the actions we do. Every action we do leaves a mark. Just try to be more aware of this.

Try to be conscious of that in your every action. 
Life is about doing good things, the basic written rule off all religions, of all our ways of life. Only people make a mess of it by there actions and interpretations.

Nothing more or less is asked of us then to be YOURSELF. To share your unique set of talents and skills with the world. Only to live YOUR mission so our community can make use of it the way it is mend to be. So together and in peace and appreciation can life life the fullest.

By being yourself you support yourself and your environment in the best way. This has nothing to do with any position you have or take in society. 

We do not have and cannot take all the sorrow and regret in the world on our shoulders. Nobody is asking that from us. We only can start small, in our own families, in our own living and work environment. Out of that this change can and will flow and spread. But when it is not even possible in our own heart or in our families... how can we change the world. 

Going on over and over again to change our profile picture when the next disaster, attack, crime or whatever sad circumstance appear, leaves a mark but does it really make sense? 

Make the difference!
There is nothing wrong in killing your inner enemies. Your hate, your impatience, your greed, your short-sightedness of only your truth, your impulse to be better than you already are, etc.. Using this kind of killing you really change the world more than we think. Be yourself, live and share your unique talents, share your mission. Nothing more and nothing less to do. 

Only when we make a change ourselves and show our example in this mostly wonderful world and we do this together, we make the world an even richer place to be. Good for ourselves, our environment and the people who come next.  

Maybe a thought in 'the days of light' Christmas is called. 

We wish you a peaceful and wonderful Christmas, Maybe a start of something even more beautiful.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, December 11, 2015

More life energy? Connect your rhythm of life.

There is a song called: The rhythm of life: The refrain of this song says;

"For the rhythm of life is a powerful beat,
puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet!
Rhythm on the inside, rhythm on the street,
and the rhythm of life is a powerful beat!" 

Ever thought about the idea we live the rhythm of life most of the time in contradiction with the rhythm of nature? The free available natural energy available in the seasons.

Not being aware of this periods, we force our body and mind to blossom all the time. This is not even possible and a very hard job to do. Actually we drain our own energy. 

You only can freely blossom when you also take enough time to recharge and let go. Do you live life in relation to the rhythm of nature? When you understand the rhythm of nature, the seasons, more and bring them in relation to your rhythm of life, you make living life much more easy and energetic. Be aware and make use of the natural periods to bloom and the natural periods to let go and to rest. 

The Buddhism learns there is an ongoing cycle of life (Dhama circle). This ongoing cycle shows us there is a time of rise, shine and set in everything. Underneath is the always pushing energy flow of need to grow. 

In this cycle we can also find the rhythm of the seasons. Spring (and the first half of summer) as rise, summer (and first half of autumn) as shine, the last part of autumn and winter as set/falling. And every season carries four seasons in itself. So we have springtime in Spring, summertime in Spring, autumntime in Spring and wintertime in Spring, To flow into springtime of Summer and so forth. 

In summertime days are long and nights are short. In Buddhism the day - especially the sun - is connected with the color gold. The highest energetic color. Gold is connected with 'action'. 
In wintertime days are short and the nights are long. In Buddhism the night - especially the moon - is connected with the color silver. Silver is connected with 'rest, letting go and building up inner wisdom'. 

How strange we act in our rat-race we call life. When the energy level in nature is high, summer time, we take the time for holiday and resting. In wintertime we are used to eat more and higher energetic food and work longer in the evening hours with a climax every year in the month December because it seems the world reaches its end that month on the 31st. Everything has to be done and finished. 

End of November a group of Hong Kong guest was visiting our place. They brought their own young yoga teacher.
By coincidence checking her busy year schedule it said: "December 5th [teachers name] taking time off, being in touch with nature... December 27th it's time to stop everything and come back to the core of life.". 

Asking her about this she said she already did this for several years to stay in touch with nature, her good health and to recharge in connection with the seasons. December is not a month to run and stress yourself out. 

End of Autumn is the time to let go. By dropping its leaves a tree effortless creates space on the branches for new life (see picture). You can see this as new creative ideas, drop old friendships for new friendships to come, etc.. To allow changes to come so grow can go on. 
The end of December (Winter in Winter) was really the time to stop everything to make herself up to come back to the core of life. A natural movement in connection with natural flow. 

Living more in connection with the free energy our seasons offer, makes you feel more energetic and productive throughout the year. An easy healthy decision. 

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, December 4, 2015

Where did you learn the main source of life, breathing? Live longer, start to breath!

When you take some time to think about this question isn’t it strange? Probably, you never asked yourself this question? You just do it. Most of the time are not even aware of it. You never learned it. Actually it is the main sign you are alive. Being born you start to breath. Passing away the last thing you do is to breath out.  

Breathing is the primary source of living. Ever thought about this? Lots of studies will tell you, you can live about three weeks without food, about one week without water but only about two till three minutes without air. So what about your breathing? Do you take care? Where did you learn breathing? How do you breath in and out? What does your breathing pattern mirror? What does it say? Can we learn how to breath (again)?

Just give yourself some time to be present with your breath passing the throat going into the lungs, moving the diagram. Be very present. You have no idea how it happens. Watch it, you cannot change it. The interaction of the elements we have no clue how we do those things. They just happen. And they just pass away and arise again. So far, your whole life long.

I have been in the ‘Emergency room’ in a hospital three times so far. Thinking of having a heart attack. I was wrong (happy for me because I trust I have a mission to fulfill). The only thing that happened was the confrontation with my (high) breathing in a wrong way. Actually signs enough to change your life / life-style, but I did not listen and needed a traffic accident to believe this.

My background is Master in Crisis and Disaster Management. What I learned is not how to breath but just to observe the breathing pattern of my management team members when we had to make a decision in crises. I learned that, scientifically proven:
# When staff members breath approximately 4 – 6 times per minute they are calm and in control
# When they breath approximately 7 – 15 times per minute they experience unrest but are still in control
# When they breath approximately 16 – 20 times per minute they experience unrest and are out of control.
# When they breath in and out more than 20 times per minute they are uncontrollable. The stress level is too high and they are not available anymore to make right decisions.

Temporary stress is not a problem. In some situations it can even be healthy. Sustainable stress is killing. Being aware of breathing can help you to survive. You need to recharge in time and/or need to change ‘your way of life’.

Breathing exercises in meditation and yoga can help you to connect again with your source of life. It is not a hard thing to discover. Lots of breathing / pranayama exercises you can find on youtube.

A couple of weeks ago a young international student asked me about tools to diminish or release his fear for presenting and being on stage. Breathing exercises helped him. It’s just a ‘school-example’.

Connect more with and be aware of your breathing, discover how to use and regulate your breathing to stay healthy, to be more connected and to live life. Use your breathing pattern as a mirror for yourself to see If you are really connected with the things you are doing or have to do. Use it as a sign to change your life/work (style) in time.

Being aware of breathing, your life is worth it.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 27, 2015

Enough. Key to more happiness.

Before the start of every movie in Thai cinemas people show respect to their king. Last time when I visited a movie there was not only a national anthem - accompanied by pictures of the king on the screen - where everybody stands up paying homage to the king. There was more this time. Just before that ceremony there was also a kind of expression from the king to the audience telling them to be happy with enough.  

After the movie I talked with some English speaking Thai about this. A nice conversation I want to share in this blog.

The dialogue was about this word ‘enough’. Being happy with enough is a wise expression they explained to me. Lots of our suffering is because we think we never have enough. People show they are happy on the outside but in practice they are not. Why do you need a (too) big house, a (too) luxury or expensive car, etc.. In most cases it is just to show the world around you are happy. But when you need big fences around your garden and house, camera’s to feel safe at your place… what about your being really happy? When you need security guards to protect yourself, are you really happy? When you need a burglar alarm in your exclusive car, are you really happy? When you have the latest mobile devise, are you really happy? For how long? There is always more and better. You cannot come to an end.

Let enough be enough! Do not show the world around you, actually you are not happy at all on the inside. When you look deeper, actually what you can discover a lot of times is that real happiness is failing in people. Inside people are at war with themselves being afraid to show or share with the world around. So they cover themselves with veils that only show happiness on the outside.

The month December, in lots of countries, is a month of celebrations. Christmas, New Year, etc.. I remember going to do some shopping in that month. Seeing people with an overload of goods to make them feel secure their celebrations should be good. Throwing away loads of goods and food afterwards because they did not use it. Lasting happiness has nothing to do with temporary things.
Having enough is taking the time not to run for more. Taking the time to enjoy of what already is and be happy with it.

Just a dialogue after a movie in Thailand after a word spoken by the Thai King.

Maybe something to think about.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 20, 2015

The world is sick and wonderful

There are always two sights. There is light and dark in all things. The world is not all fluffy. They is not all love and light.

Over and over we get signs to remember us that it are only human beings that made and still make the world sometimes a sick place to live. 

Over and over we get signals to stand still and think about what life is really all about. For a short time we pay respect to life and to victims. For instance by asking to pray. Or to show we got the signal by changing our profile picture on social media or 'burn' a virtual candle to express our ‘support’ to a country or to citizens.
Just and only… for a while. Then we jump into our rat-race vehicles again on our way to…the next signal? We call it resilience. Actually it says we do not learn and come back on the same old track over and over again.

What do we do with this ongoing signals. Do we really change something in our personal life?

Today exactly I am 3½ years living abroad. Living in another culture, living in a totally different way. No, nothing romantic or better but just different. The time living abroad - discovering, studying and connecting with people from all over the world - made me more than ever aware of the fact that we are ‘living’ (acting) in a created system.

Aren’t we aware what is going on in the world? Wake up out of the phantasm world we are living in. Aren’t we aware of being puppets on strings in a system? A system of power, creating hate and fear. A system driven by emotion strategies (emotion is news). A system of accentuating negativity (when did you see or hear about something positive in the world on the daily news?). A system were countries want to interfere in everything and want to know what’s going on at the neighbors place in a very early stage. A system of creating more and more disconnection, non-privacy and ‘I’. A system of falsehood supported by show, propaganda and marketing. A system of corruption.
A system of making more and more money. The ongoing virus the world is contaminating. The news channel CNN, for example, shows us what life seems to be really all about. Even the most worse disaster, war or eye-witness report is supported on the screen by what is going on at the financial- and stock markets.

It is very easy to see this, by human beings created, veil of sickness. You only have to read the newspapers, watch the news, connect even more with the ‘social’ media and internet. But is only one side of the same medal.

Actually the world is a wonderful place. Let’s face it.
Everything you give attention grows. There is black and white in all things. And YOU are the only one that can make the difference in how to face the world. This does not say you do not have to know what is going on. Just be aware of black but also of white. Give attention to white and do not support black.

Make yourself available to life and life becomes available to you. Be aware of your “habit energy” pushing you forward and our ongoing struggling. Our sorrow and regret about the past, and/or our anxiety of what will happen in the future. Start learning the art of more and more stopping, resting and being aware.

You are free to enjoy the many wonders of live that are available in the world around you in the here and now. The blue sky, beautiful ongoing changing trees, lovely faces of playful exploring children, flowers, birds, etc.. You only have to face it.

Connect with and give more attention to the light and bright side of live. Everything you give attention grows. You will discover the world is more beautiful than you ever thought. Good for you, good for the world surrounding you. What a wonderful world!

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
But they're really saying I love you.

I hear baby's cry, and I watched them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.
Yes, I think to myself what a wonderful world.

Louis Armstrong

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 13, 2015

Dissatisfaction, a better explanation of suffering.

The Buddha is not a God. He is a great teacher. In the Buddhism people show great respect to their teacher and honour him. Buddha is just a ‘normal’ man. A human being like me and you. A man who left home, even his wife and young son, to homelessness. He freed himself to serve the world around by his teachings and way of life that have most to do with how to deal with suffering.

Buddhism is not about being special. It is about being ordinary. The Buddha gave us a lot of guidelines and actually not real rules to help us to stop or at least diminish our suffering. When you follow the guidelines there will be no suffering for you. But the teaching of the Buddha is a ‘free’ teaching. His lesson is most of all; “Find out yourself”.
The meaning of the big ears from the Buddha has to do with; ‘Do not believe me, find out yourself but to do that, be aware.’

Actually we use the word suffering in relation to Buddhism a lot. But it is not really the right understanding and translation out of the Sanskrit. In most of the situations it is much better to use the word; ‘Dissatisfaction’. Especially in the western world easier to understand.

We are never quite happy and if we are, most of the time it is very temporary. The food of our dissatisfaction are our burning desires and greed. And for sure it is not bad to have desires. Actually it is very normal and healthy to have them till a certain level.
Things change when they start to harm and toxify us and – by this – start to harm and toxify the world around us. The Buddhism learns us to be smart and fully aware about our desires. So, to be alert.

Let them serve you. Not on the outside, the world of getting more and more and never enough, but on the inside to purify, show compassion and build up inner wisdom even more. To enjoy and be available in and for the world around us even more. A sustainable way to lasting higher happiness.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, November 6, 2015

Are you really 'Impossible'?

Sometimes people really feel ‘down’. They feel impossible. It seem they will not ever connect and/or succeed. Not in friendships, not in relationships, not in work. From their entire environment they feel that they are impossible. That feeling slowly turns into an inner believe and increasingly negative thoughts as an inner base starting up new things. Creating a negative spiral down.  

We can cause harm and other people can harm us. There is a lot in life that can hurt us. And even when it comes to choices that people made that have hurt us. You can sometimes feel hurt by what other people have done to you.

But people are human, they make mistakes, they may be under stress sometimes, they say a sharp word. When your heart is open this can sting it. But most of the time there is no real malice, nothing personal intended in that. It is just that people are fallible and in different situations they act hastily and make mistakes.
It is really easy to turn oneself in somebody wronged…, thinking; ‘this always keeps happening to me…’, everybody is against me.

Humans are not impossible. You can see ‘impossible’ as ‘I am possible’. Do not believe, trust! And when you cannot trust yourself…who else can you trust?
Maybe, in a different way thinking out of trust and inner power you can think, they try to make me a success. We are not perfect sometimes. Happy for that.

Every human being is unique and has a mission to fulfil in life. Sometimes you have to learn the environment you are in to fulfil your mission is not the right one for you. This still does not say you are impossible.

Just like a plant, every human being, out of its own personal uniqueness, needs the right amount of sun, the right soil, the right amount of water, enough space and attention (grant factor) to grow and periodically flourish. That does not say the plant is impossible but has everything to do with the environment and with grant factors.

Change your inner believe in being ‘impossible’ into a trust of: ‘I am possible!.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, October 30, 2015

‘Living’ like a fired bullet

My neighbor was ill for a couple of weeks. I visited him every day and we had nice conversations about all kind of themes. Very nice talk to be honest. Actually you learn to know people in a different way.

One day he said to me: “Frans, one of my masters in life told me this; When we were young we laid down in the grass and we could see the grass growing. Living our life now, as fast as a fired bullet, we are not even aware of living anymore. Things go faster and faster, we think life is going faster. Time is not changing. For centuries 24 hours are still 24 hours and not a minute shorter or more. We think we do more but we live less. Actually we are the ones that do not respect life-time any more. Not taking the time to be aware and enjoy the many wonders of life for us.”

I kept this message in mind. Preparing the sala (an open covered space) on the hill where I guide the morning meditation I took some time to watch the magnificent scenery and the ongoing change of the impressive white clouds. It makes me happy, nearly every day, to start my day here and just every morning watch the clouds for a while. Listening to the sounds of nature. Night sounds fading away, sounds of the start of a new day in nature and of village life coming up. Soon accompanied with the rising sun again. It’s just a ‘wake-up call’ being grateful of getting a new day again to live.

Sometimes I start my international class with compassion practice I got from the Dalai Lama. Hearing the message of my neighbor's master I thought about one of the first sentences in this practice says:

“Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it…

Who am I to ‘judge’ we are wasting our life? Not even running our life path anymore, less and less being aware of the things we did or do? Running from goal to another longing goal – and being there not even celebrate we reach it – to the next goal? Not taking the time to stop and recharge? Need to be connected with everyone and everything? It are all signs we are afraid to come home. Coming home within ourselves, not LIVING life as it is available for us, as it is mend to be. 

Think about the idea of wasting your time. Maybe you think you can do more in one day with all the sources you have to support you doing the things you do. And in a certain way you can. But is doing more also LIVING more for you? Be aware of the always free choice you have to do what you want to do. There is no general excuse. Do not waste your life. Take the time and be aware of living it. There are many wonders already waiting for you. You only have to be aware of the grass growing, the clouds changing (when was the last time you really observed them?), the birds singing, a child exploring...

Just being aware of only this kind of things can be a step forward in being aware of LIVING instead of like a fired bullet not respecting life...

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”

Friday, October 23, 2015

Calm the jumping monkey mind down. Diminish insomnia.

Can you help me with stopping my thoughts, the wandering away of my mind? 

A couple of times a month I get this question from guests. Most of the time after the early morning class they visit me in private and feel free to ask me this question. They are aware of their monkey mind jumping and think they are not able anymore to calm it down. And actually it is a good thing that they (finally) are aware. This is the first step in solving ‘the problem’. They give attention to their mind. Actually the heart of our human being.

Always my answer is; “Yes, I can(‘t).
It is a strange thought to ask me to stop thinking. It is not even possible and… be glad. When you are driving a car, bike or bicycle and you see a traffic light switching into ‘red’ for your lane, please think about the idea it is better to stop. So, to be honest, you do not even have the possibility to stop thinking. Do not try. You will never succeed.

Your thoughts have to do with at least two main ways of thinking.
The first one is how to support your functioning. The basic things of all this kind of thoughts have to do with the questions; “How to survive?” and “How to stay safe?”. Not a bad thing when you want to live life I think.
The other one has more to do with our state of well-being. Lots of times related to past experiences and desires. With our build up ‘life-style’. And here we go. We start with creating our own stories. We add all kind of things or take away things so all creative thoughts arise not being a truth story. We start judging, and we try to create a future where we think more happiness is waiting for us. Or, we do not want to be hurt again and think about how to deal with not getting this feeling again by creating not existing plans “A”, “B”, “C”, “C+”, etc.. We call it suffering.

So the guests ask me the question, a little bit different again: “Can you help me to stop suffering?”
And again my answer is; “Yes, I can(‘t). But… YOU can!”

Be happy thinking is inevitable. Be aware suffering is only an option. It is YOUR choice to build up perception. And yes I know this is easy talk. It only seems to be easy talk because you are not used to deal with your suffering. Suffering is ruling your life and the only thing you do is sit and wait. Helping a vicious circle to go on helping you to get what you already got.

Just think about all the energy you already consumed in your life, all the nights you could not sleep,  because of all this kind of thoughts turning you into nightmares of scenes and situations that… after all … never appeared. So ask yourself the question; “Does suffering help me?, How does it serve me to solve my problem or situation?”.
Thinking can serve you bringing ‘out of the box’ solutions. Suffering only make things worse and scare you for taking any decision. Suffering brings in negativity, drains energy and supports an ongoing stream of “Why?” and “If?” questions. Building not ever existing skyscrapers of fear, anger, judgment and cramp in body and mind.

Is there a solution? “Stop it!” You are not your suffering thoughts. You are the only one that goes on giving this suffering thoughts attention. Knowing you are not supporting yourself, knowing you are draining your energy, knowing you bring you energy level down. Not serving yourself and not being able anymore to serve the world around in your best way.

The Buddhism helps with so called Equanimity, balance. An easy method to stop fighting with yourself and stop or at least diminnish suffering.
I laughed about it when I heard it the first time but… doing it more and more it really helped me a lot so far. Give it a try and go on trying. Be amazed. Just to share:

Ask yourself:
1.)Can you change the situation you are fighting with and/or suffering about NOW?
# If YES, change it and stop suffering.
# If NO ask yourself question 2.
2.) Can you change the situation you are fighting with and/or suffering about when the circumstances change (like more time, when the money is there, etc..)?
# If YES, stop suffering NOW and organize the things that have to be organized or wait till the right moment is there.
# If No go to number 3.
3.) If you cannot change the situation you are fighting with and/or suffering about now and also not in the future.
# Accept! Really accept so stop toxifying yourself and the world around you for ever and never talk about it again or
# Do not accept and find a new environment, work, relationship or what else where you do not have to fight with and/or suffer about (and be aware still new things you will start suffering about will arise).
4) Still no option? Resilience will come. Stop hurting yourself. Develop Self-love in a simple way. 
Think about this: You are the one you spend every day with. 24 Hours a day, for the rest of your life. So why not build a relationship with yourself? Treat yourself as a new lover, tell yourself "I love you". Compliment yourself, be gentle to yourself, allow yourself to shine and to be happy and fulfilled. You are worth it!

Trust yourself. This does not mean stop doing things and just lay back. But stop punishing yourself with all this negativity. Do not try it, just DO it. Open your heart, flourish, think out of the box and be aware that all the answers are already available inside you. It is a waste of time and energy to look outside. Your life cannot go wrong.

Calm the jumping monkey mind down. Diminish insomnia. Go on thinking, just stop suffering. 

Yes, YOU can!

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”