Friday, July 11, 2014

Young people already suffering from a burn-out. What went wrong and also the good news.

In a short period of time I have met three people, under 30, who were suffering from a burnout for at least one year. None the less remarkable and alarming. Not only because of the personal misery but also because of the economical loss.

A man from Europe, a young woman from America and another from Vietnam. In my opinion no exceptions that proves the rules. People I meet here from Singapore and Hongkong also know about this kind of suffering. When I listen to their stories I ask myself 'do these people know what living and life is all about'?

In a situation of a burnout, without even knowing or realizing, you enter a situation step by step that you aren't in control anymore. You have lost yourself. You are 'living' almost entirely out of your head. You are, in a holistic way (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and causal (your relation with your environment)) out of balance. The mind can try to force you to do all kind of things but the physical body will call that to a stop. There is no more energy. You gave too long too much without recharging. Your battery is low and damaged and it doesn't recharge sufficient any more.

What went wrong? 
Anyway what I found out, with my guests, was that they (slowly) didn't do the things they liked and loved anymore. They left their talents and gifts and missed the real engagement with work. Without even noticing they lost sight of their own dreams and started to serve the ideas of what they thought the needs and desires of their environment were. To determine these desires and ambitions. On competition, their interpretation of responsibility and care, their ego (not to fail) and wanting too much (sometimes even being greedy).

In addition, the practice of the interpretation, of the definition of the first so inviting job, was different than they had imagined. The environment (habitat) was energy draining them. 
They had to work more and more in their perception, and made more ​​hours to get the work done. Time to recharge by choosing for themselves and to just breathe again, vanished. Life priorities were pushed into the background. Boon-factors missing. There was a downward spiral in which they all put everything they had just to prove themselves. They came in a state of "live to work" rather than "work to live".

In short, they got themselves lost, without noticing. The final result ... both in private and business a lot of negativity, a total disturbed balance, a waste of time, energy, and in a business perspective also a big destruction of capital.

The good news. 
During our conversations we discovered that health, from an holistic approach, is a fabulous thing. When one of the elements does not get enough attention, automatically one of the other elements will jump in and tries to regain the optimal balance again. That’s, although you went on with taking too much of your energy for a protracted time, the good news. So, you get the opportunity to learn!

You should however open up to it. And thereto it just fails. You suppress or simply forget to feel in the 'rat race' that you are in. You need to be aware of your feelings. Finally the situation drains all your energy away and brings you in a state of ´out of order´.

And if you are lucky enough to get 'stopped' in a natural way – even if you don't accept it at first as naturally- (instead of being part of a fatal situation),then there is no other choice than to stand still. It is no longer your decision. is your choice how to deal, with the now existing situation.

How do you use this time of being ‘on hold’. There is no escape. The only way is to start accepting the situation and to open up for experiencing the things that arise and learn. You could compare this situation with the metaphor of the seasons. See the autumn as a period to prepare for the new spring.

Often it seems you have to accept the circumstances as inevitable and uncontrollable. You feel unable to change the situation. But you can ‘turn around’ a situation. A lot is tantamount to your own convictions, faith in yourself and anything that gives you inspiration and you put in your energy (again). Perhaps the only thing that happened is that your stage of growth and development is no longer bound by the stages in your work or personal life. And, in retrospect, you had a lot to do with it but only were not aware of the changing situation. Now another bit of good news. From now on you can build wisdom and build up a more sensitive intuition. You can find the things that really matter in your life again. You can learn to be proactive so you can anticipate to a changing situation in a much earlier stage, and stay in charge.

It is like dealing with loss. Not time or acceptation give the primary positive effects but, on the contrary, the way you can adapt to the changing circumstances (sooner).

If you can welcome, with understanding and desire to learn from it, the period of long-term absence of yourself properly, you may discover the treasure that is hidden in it. Once you have a new, fresh, perspective, you can see the complicated interrelationship within the big picture. Your, perhaps new, added value for both yourself and to others.

Don't lose yourself again. The ultimate damage can be much bigger or even irreparable. 

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.”