Calm the jumping monkey mind down. Diminish insomnia.

Can you help me with stopping my thoughts, the wandering away of my mind? 

A couple of times a month I get this question from guests. Most of the time after the early morning class they visit me in private and feel free to ask me this question. They are aware of their monkey mind jumping and think they are not able anymore to calm it down. And actually it is a good thing that they (finally) are aware. This is the first step in solving ‘the problem’. They give attention to their mind. Actually the heart of our human being.

Always my answer is; “Yes, I can(‘t).

It is a strange thought to ask me to stop thinking. It is not even possible and… be glad. When you are driving a car, bike or bicycle and you see a traffic light switching into ‘red’ for your lane, please think about the idea it is better to stop. So, to be honest, you do not even have the possibility to stop thinking. Do not try. You will never succeed.

Your thoughts have to do with at least two main ways of thinking.

The first one is how to support your functioning. The basic things of all this kind of thoughts have to do with the questions; “How to survive?” and “How to stay safe?”. Not a bad thing when you want to live life I think.

The other one has more to do with our state of well-being. Lots of times related to past experiences and desires. With our build up ‘life-style’. And here we go. We start with creating our own stories. We add all kind of things or take away things so all creative thoughts arise not being a truth story. We start judging, and we try to create a future where we think more happiness is waiting for us. Or, we do not want to be hurt again and think about how to deal with not getting this feeling again by creating not existing plans “A”, “B”, “C”, “C+”, etc.. We call it suffering.

So the guests ask me the question, a little bit different again: “Can you help me to stop suffering?”

And again my answer is; “Yes, I can(‘t). But… YOU can!”

Be happy thinking is inevitable. Be aware suffering is only an option. It is YOUR choice to build up perception. And yes I know this is easy talk. It only seems to be easy talk because you are not used to deal with your suffering. Suffering is ruling your life and the only thing you do is sit and wait. Helping a vicious circle to go on helping you to get what you already got.

Just think about all the energy you already consumed in your life, all the nights you could not sleep,  because of all this kind of thoughts turning you into nightmares of scenes and situations that… after all … never appeared. So ask yourself the question; “Does suffering help me?, How does it serve me to solve my problem or situation?”.

Thinking can serve you bringing ‘out of the box’ solutions. Suffering only make things worse and scare you for taking any decision. Suffering brings in negativity, drains energy and supports an ongoing stream of “Why?” and “If?” questions. Building not ever existing skyscrapers of fear, anger, judgment and cramp in body and mind.

Is there a solution? “Stop it!” You are not your suffering thoughts. You are the only one that goes on giving this suffering thoughts attention. Knowing you are not supporting yourself, knowing you are draining your energy, knowing you bring you energy level down. Not serving yourself and not being able anymore to serve the world around in your best way.

The Buddhism helps with so called Equanimity, balance. An easy method to stop fighting with yourself and stop or at least diminnish suffering.

I laughed about it when I heard it the first time but… doing it more and more it really helped me a lot so far. Give it a try and go on trying. Be amazed. Just to share:

Ask yourself:

1.)Can you change the situation you are fighting with and/or suffering about NOW?

# If YES, change it and stop suffering.

# If NO ask yourself question 2.

2.) Can you change the situation you are fighting with and/or suffering about when the circumstances change (like more time, when the money is there, etc..)?

# If YES, stop suffering NOW and organize the things that have to be organized or wait till the right moment is there.

# If No go to number 3.

3.) If you cannot change the situation you are fighting with and/or suffering about now and also not in the future.

# Accept! Really accept so stop toxifying yourself and the world around you for ever and never talk about it again or

# Do not accept and find a new environment, work, relationship or what else where you do not have to fight with and/or suffer about (and be aware still new things you will start suffering about will arise).

4) Still no option? Resilience will come. Stop hurting yourself. Develop Self-love in a simple way. 

Think about this: You are the one you spend every day with. 24 Hours a day, for the rest of your life. So why not build a relationship with yourself? Treat yourself as a new lover, tell yourself "I love you". Compliment yourself, be gentle to yourself, allow yourself to shine and to be happy and fulfilled. You are worth it!

Trust yourself. This does not mean stop doing things and just lay back. But stop punishing yourself with all this negativity. Do not try it, just DO it. Open your heart, flourish, think out of the box and be aware that all the answers are already available inside you. It is a waste of time and energy to look outside. Your life cannot go wrong.

Calm the jumping monkey mind down. Diminish insomnia. Go on thinking, just stop suffering. 

Yes, YOU can!

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com