One of my neighbors suddenly left our nice residences. One and a half month ago she invited me, some other people living at our place and some of her friends for a New Year’s Eve dinner. Without saying a single word of goodbye she left. A couple of days later another person, a friend of her, also left. She lived next door for a month and without saying a simple word or leaving a single message she also left.
With another neighbor I talked about this for me a bit sad and funny and instructive experience as well. She compared living life as taking a ride in the train. The idea touched me and I started to contemplate on it. Actually a wonderful mirror, this train.
You can see the train as your temporary life path on the never ending, ongoing changing and developing world. We are all traveling on the crust of this small planet, earth, and nowhere else. This is a constraint.
The changing scenery, wonderful fields, rural villages, crowdie cities, industrial parks, garbage fields, beaches, mountains, and tunnels as the influences you have to face and or to deal with in life. They all pass by. At several stations the train stops. An opportunity to leave and explore for a longer or shorter time or… to just go on. But always a stop so you can think about leaving or going on.
You start to take your train ride immediately after birth. Actually after conception. And, you are not alone in life, so not in that train. One of the things that Alfred Adler in his book ‘What life could mean to you’ explains as a second constraint. ‘None of us is the only member of human race. There are others around us (in that life train), and we exist in association with them.” So if you like the people around you or not… total isolation is not possible. We are always tide to others. Adler mentions a third constraint; Human beings are made up of two sexes.
Individual Psychology has found that all human problems can be grouped under three main headings: occupational, social and sexual.
So here we go in our life train. Some people sitting close to us. Some further away, some very far away. We do not even know them. Other people walk in for a short trip or a longer trip. So they stay short or longer and maybe even they take the nearly same ride but are in another compartment of the train and you never saw them or see them. And at a certain moment you reach ‘ocean view’, end of your time. The life train goes on without you and you created space for somebody else to take your place. For again a short or longer ride…
So, comparing your life and connections in life with a train ride. Don’t feel sad. It’s just facing nature and no one can escape. Some people go and create space for new people to take place. Up to you to be willing and open to interact. Up to the other persons to respond or not. Also up to the other people to say goodbye or not. Be only a mirror. Be aware mirrors do not have emotions. So do not be affected by their choice.
In the present time people in trains less and less interact in face-to-face conversations. They are in their own digital world. Not even being aware of the changing scenery outside. Does it still matter to them?