Friday, August 23, 2013

The Simple Hapiness of Khun Wang



This past Sunday, early in the morning, I went with our dog Kadhow on the scooter again to a beautiful place where he can run freely. This time we went to another valley about 10 minutes drive away. We got off and were initially welcomed by three water buffaloes. Kadhow meanwhile doesn't look surprised anymore.

We walked up the hill and back down on the other side where we came in a beautiful valley, in the valley a small lake with a rock covered in gorgeous green, green and more green everywhere around. As we walked further down I noticed on the right in the bushes a little cabin. I had seen this once before. Now there was barking shortly a member of Kadhow's 'family'. Apparently there was someone home.

As we walked along, we saw the owner, standing there with a razorblade and was shaving himself, he stepped outside to see what was going on. Kadhow was on his 'practice' belt. "Aah, nice exercise," the man said in somewhat broken English and stuck his thumb in the air. I nodded at him and walked on with my dog. We walked about an hour through the valley and the hills.

On our way back we walked past the cabin again. There were two incredibly beautiful, spotless white, chickens under a size cover which was basically the roof of the 'shack'. On the floor, in the mud, a couple of old rice bags and on the bench in front of the cottage was the owners dog.

The owner, who later introduced himself as Khun Wang (Khun here means Mr. or Ms.), asked me to come and sit under his roof. My first reaction was to skip the invitation. However Kadhow was very interested (and actually deep down inside me too). So we decided to take the offer anyway.

We sat down on a bamboo bed / mat and I promptly was offered a Rosella iced tea in a broken white cup. More than friendly. Yet from a Western perspective you still you think for a moment whether this is responsible to drink. Immediately I pushed that thought out of my head. It's great nonsense. Kind of like bring your own syringe needles for safety as you might end up in a hospital. There's just nothing wrong with this country and we could learn something from the healthcare here. That is genuine care. People talk one another sick (and a lot of money is making by this). So I sat there with Khun Wang with the cold tea in a 'not so clean' cup.

Khun Wang did his best to make himself understood in English Hats off! Which also went not bad. It seemed like two 'people with disabilities' in English, one a little bit worse than the other, but who certainly understood each other at an emotional level. An amazing experience!

Khun Wang began making me understand that he seemed to be poor but that he was certainly not. Each morning as he woke up he overlooked the lake and his land. In the distance he pointed me to where his land reached into the valley. "If I would sell it, which of course I won’t, I would be rich. But why would I sell it? I am rich already. "

I looked at him slightly confused. He smiled at me with the teeth he still had in his mouth. In the gaps between his teeth, some white rice grains which he ate for breakfast, just before he came out of his small ‘back room/storage/ kitchen / bedroom '. He wanted to explain me his wealth.

"You sure must have a Thai wife," he asked me. I denied that. Well that was quite good, he said. Almost all foreign men came to Thailand for a Thai wife he thought. Usually old men who wanted to marry very young Thai woman. So I belonged, in his eyes to a minority and that, he thought was very good. Yet he told me that Thai women very often were beautiful and sweet. I had to pay attention to it in another life he told me with a grin.

Khun Wang had no wife and no children. That was a burden he would rather not have. He had several girlfriends and, as he said furthermore, those girlfriends had him. Freedom, happiness and no obligations. It was always fun with each other and if it was not any more than you saw each other again some other time and then it was fun again. There were more than enough children already in Thailand. He said he is lazy and that ‘care’ was, if you were goanna do it good, a pretty heavy challenge. He enjoyed his own wealth and the worldly offers surrounding him which he took advantage of only if he wanted too. With a smile on his face he wished me luck with the parenting and care of the children that I had under my ‘protection’.

Why my head was bald, he asked me. I told him that it started as a joke some 15 years ago. Nice story, he said. But you know, I think you're just lazy too. And again he laughed. Look he said, I have my own pond full of fish. Do you think I sit down and catch them? Sometimes I go to the market and buy a fish. I meet people, have some nice conversations and if they aren’t nice any more than I come back here. No hassle on my mind. Sometimes someone comes with me and if not then it is also quite O.K.. Other people do fish here sometime. I think that's all good too. Sometimes they pay me something, but to go and fish myself ... I prefer to enjoy the view.

So in my opinion you are also lazy and that is why you shave your head. You don’t have no further worries about how you would look. and you shave your. We are "Same, same but different" and there was that smirk again.

He went into his 'lounge' and came back with a sturdy bunch of 'Dragon Eyes' (Longan). Tropical fruits that are currently growing in abundance here. "From my own land and trees," he said. For you. Way too many. I ate some of them and wanted to give the rest back, I thought he needed them for his own consumption. He wouldn’t take them, "take them for your beautiful European wife," he said to me. So I took them home.

After about twenty minutes I got up to leave. He asked me again to come back and to have a chat again. Good for me to learn Thai and for him to master his English. The dogs were apparently getting along too. Now that I was 'friend' I was always free to walk around on his land anytime and always welcome in his ‘house’ to talk.

Sure that I do that. Who knows, maybe I’ll take some participants in one of our programs to come along. Khun Wang will let you experience how you can be very simply happy with 'nothing'. Do you really wish for more ... 


Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 
captijninsight@gmail.com



Friday, August 9, 2013

What if today was your last day?

From one of the participants of a Villa-Asia program we got a beautiful song after he was back home again. Just to say 'thank you' for the insight he got during his retreat.

We just want to share the song text and the link to the music on youtube. 

Maybe this is what life is all about…


Nickleback - If Today was your last day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Songwriters
KROEGER, CHAD




Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 
captijninsight@gmail.com



Friday, July 26, 2013

More success in jobs with knowledge of ‘Underwater profiles’.



Something completely different, that almost literally came floating on top during a work program, in this context, the term "underwater profile.

The first day of a new job, employers and employees usually are the most passionate and happy with each other.Then expectations turn out to fall short and the passion crumbles quickly.

Taking time to get to know the underwater profiles will make work happier longer. On the other hand it saves a lot of trouble if it appears that the profiles do not out for together. You may therefore don’t do business with each other. Assessments usually don’t give answers to these profiles.

The term "underwater profile 'was until a year or two ago, unknown to me. I read it in two books written by a very good friend and partner Titia Lont. She wrote them for new mayors and aldermen/councillors. Prof. Dr. Harrie Aardema has worked out such a underwater profile for municipal organizations. I myself have, edited the profiles a little more general in the second book that I am writing.

When people start working in an organization it is good to have an overall picture of that organization. Conversely, it is good to have, as an organization, the overall picture of a new employee. That's really more than a resume. For both, that image is usually absolutely not complete. Often it appears from the outside everything is more beautiful and attractive than being in the situation that you are already working for a while. So you will see only the top of the 'iceberg'. This means that there is often a much bigger, invisible, portion underneath. The 'underside'. That bottom site is more difficult to grasp. There are many things below the waterline as will turn out on closer examination. How to look at those items that you may discover is different again for every individual or organization. After all, each lives in his own definition of reality. You measure things down to your own image, feelings, values. You can assume that the court, if you look closely is, yet slightly different than the first impression you had. What do you offer each other, to grow, and what 'expiration date' is there determined for both? What inspires you in your life and your work and what inspires an organization? Do they correspond with each other? Questions that actually hardly or not are expressed in interviews. Affairs that are, in my opinion, super necessary to know, in order to grow by sharing.

After some time the passion disappears and begins the legal status regulation and those cases where one thinks has a legal 'right' to prevail. Groups of people are also riling each other up in a lot of cases.

Aardema indicates that the top of both the individual and the organization iceberg is about the standardization. It is only 20% of what is at stake in the whole picture. Affairs for the employee as: Job title, salary, job profile, status, working hours, travel, expense allowances secondary labour conditions, permanent or temporary position, etc.. For the employer: Profile, vision and mission, rules, schedule, structures, programs, change of agendas, competence profiles, etc..

However, 80% of the so-called 'silent values' of both an employee and an organization apply. They are hardly or not addressed and are breeding grounds for turmoil in a working relationship.

Example, for individuals may status, reasons, passion, other positions, motivations, learning experiences, beliefs, feelings, aspirations, etc., play a role. For an employer just things like power, reasons, motives, demands, (pre) judgments, informal deals, unwritten rules of the game, hidden agendas, strategic behaviour, self-organizing forces, etc..

As well as for organizations and individuals there are therefore many things that are not reflected in formal documents or in bright, clear and tangible matters. These things often have a huge impact on the power play between employees and organizations but they are generally outside the familiar corridors, pronounced.

Taking a little more time, prior to entering into a new working relationship adopt you deepening mutually in each other’s underwater profile can save a lot of suffering and ensure from an early moment for a longer lasting working relationship. To me a win-win situation. 

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 
captijninsight@gmail.com



Friday, June 21, 2013

What do you do with your talents?

What do you do with your talents and your 'Talent-DNA'?
What is  a ‘Talent-DNA’?

My opinion is that you are, just like anybody else, born with an unique set of ‘primal’-talents. Your stack of basic tools to be able to live your mission together with your incentives. This specific package given to you as a birth-gift identifies your specific extra values in certain areas, which others maybe don’t have.

That set of basic talents and the combination and relation in which they stand to each other, is different for everyone. For every human being I call that a unique ‘Talent-DNA’. But, you are not always aware of your total ‘Talent-DNA’.

Most of the time just a few of those talents will come to bloom due to your social environment, your standards and values, your belief, convictions, etc.

In our Western world of; “I run so I am” we hardly invest (literally) in ourselves. That is why you always get what you got in the continuing flow of changes, wondering why… Sometimes this feels good and enough but very often it just doesn’t.

Take time to determine a strategy for yourself in your changing environment, just stand still for a while en search for those potential talents and qualities in you. By positioning these talents you could get surprising in-sights and get new flow in your work and private life.
That could see to that you move with more flexibility, more  energy, in inner balance and with inspiration in the torrent of change.


If you want to know more or discover and reveal your ‘Talent- DNA’… Villa-Asia is offering possibilities to do so. Whatever… take time to work on it. See and feel more opportunities coming out of yourself to deal with and share them whit your surroundings to create a much better world.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 
captijninsight@gmail.com



Friday, June 7, 2013

Diversity: Pure profit without giving something extra.



Malcom Forbes once said: “Diversity is the art of thinking independently together.” 

Diversity indeed can be seen, from my point of view, as an art. The art to pick up and to apply the power, which actually you already have had for a long time, but which often is invisible. Then you will see that a treasure of wisdom and experience reveals a 'growing together by sharing ". In a very natural way the quality of your work increases as well as the quality of your life. You become more involved. You will carry out a lot more things you're naturally good at and you enjoy doing. You inspire and will be inspired. Together you create more value and additional build sincere and lasting relationships.

I have chosen, or maybe I had to choose, a few years ago, to let go of my position as Managing Director of the Safety Region Zeeland I am now living, early retiring and much more aware of life, in Northern Thailand for quite some time. Oriental perspectives, many cultures, Buddhism. How so diversity? My helm is turned 180 °. I use my background, knowledge and experience and may, driven by my talents, use and reflect for and with others in a new comfort zone.

In a role of host, catalyst and talenteer, I meet guests from the Netherlands and other parts of the world. I am engaged in the quest for mastership/mastery in people. Thus also in and of organizations. Truly a fantastic experience and above all a revelation!
In the field of safety, because of my background as master of crisis and disastermanagement, I work on first call, worldwide fore the International Red Cross. Which is also plenty to deal with, yes, diversity!

With diversity you have to look inside first. Knowing what personal talents and strengths you (or your organization) have to share. Then to break the habit to pat your own shoulder to tell yourself that you are the best. Yes, you are certainly a major player in the palette. Then opening up. Respect the other (or other organization) for his or her talents and power and hold your primary judgment. No debate (aimed at convincing) but to enter into dialogue (with an open attitude, sincere independently without (pre) judgments), listening. Open your mind to the lower end of the visible 'iceberg'. Show interest in motivations, reasons, wishes and desires, cultural background and underlying beliefs of others. Not if this needs to be fought from your own perspectives and backgrounds as the only truth. No, also listen and opening up without judging with an attitude; "Hmmm, interesting ... I never looked at it this way.” Can I, or can we, use something of this for our project or just because I don't have it myself . Together we are stronger. 

I experience the power and the art of diversity when people open up for and from different cultures. When they understand and see value in different backgrounds and beliefs (even sometimes linked to faith). If they respect the other person and to his or her expertise. Diversity is truly a beautiful piece of art if there is a willingness to cooperate and toleration factors are present. Together wanting to achieve a higher purpose and therefore scoring together.

A new type of leadership is needed in organizations, in which are now sometimes four generations are working together. Allowing diversity could be a step in the right direction. Consider for example the balance in androgyny (male and female core characteristics) in contemporary leadership. How this is reflected in the so-called 'people skills' in an organization? Perhaps allowing more 'soft skills' and give less supervision or direction isn't sometimes that crazy.

Network organizations that embrace diversity are super powerful. They never stand or 'walk' all alone. Dare to ask and do not re invent the wheel. And, I learned this from the International Red Cross, asking questions you do also outside of your own region and certainly outside your own country. The world has become a village and (almost) everything has long been invented. Network organizations are do, especially when it comes to creativity, innovation and sustainable relationships, make a difference! Embrace diversity! The bouquet often exceeds a single flower.

Diversity? It can only exist if there are differences. They are there fortunately plenty. Where do you put the emphasis on the difference or also to the challenge of new joint agreements. Be open to diversity.

Diversity? It offers so much more ... You just have to understand the art of picking up.


Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 
captijninsight@gmail.com