Christmas... Time to come home twice

In a retreat program a short while ago I showed a film clip of a presentation by the Vietnamese monk Thich Naht Hanh. With the Christmas season at the door, this morning, it popped into my head again.

Here in the area of Chiang Mai, we see big differences to the same period last year. Here too Christmas is, of which absolutely the majority of people doesn’t even know what the actual meaning is, almost exclusively about commerce. Even here, at temperatures of about 25 ° C during the day, the plastic Christmas trees rise like mushrooms from the ground. They are tempting you buy more, it brings extra stress because of your desire to make everything nice and comfy (the word I use in Dutch is 'gezellig' which is a typical Dutch word and not really good to translate). However, the Thai kids go to school that day and also companies and government are having a normal working day. So although they attempt to get that never unmatchable ambiance here too it doesn’t feel like Christmas at all.

And when I talk about an unequaled ambience, I think back to the times with my parents. The preparations that took place in our family in the weeks and days before Christmas. We were living literally up to it. Even our cat looked forward to it. Every year when my mother was building a great Christmas stable with manger, his nose was in the air with the first smell of the Christmas branches that would make the 'barn' in which the holy family would stay. Now for him began the count down to the moment when we would go to the midnight mass on December 24 and he would peacefully himself sprawled himself all down in the middle of the barn between Joseph, Mary, the ox and the donkey and take place of the baby Jesus.

It was not only ambiance but it was also desire peace and sincerity coming home twice.

The presentation of Thich Naht Hanh raises the question in me if we ever dare to come home at all. If I deliberately say 'coming home twice' I mean not only coming home and connect as a family but certainly also coming home to yourself.

Thich Nhat Hanh indicates that if we have "free" time, and many do have with Christmas, we do not know what to do with it. We take a book, our i-phone or go 'do' something else. There are many ways, without actually even noticing escape from ourselves. To come home to ourselves. He says that in many cases, a battle is fought within ourselves. Having a conflict of unhappiness, dissatisfaction with situations, don’t dare to confront ourselves. Not daring to come home to ourselves. And if you are fighting within yourself then it's super easy to go into a battle with the world around you. That is precisely what came into my mind.

Christmas, even though you may not know the original meaning (unfortunately I think) no longer, is a time of even dare to pause. Willing and able to be silent. Just as the encounter with yourself. And if that feels uncomfortable or uneasy, then try and look into a burning candle for a while and ask yourself what the candle means to you. Bring peace, warmth, affection, visibility of colour, energy? Maybe we can all be a little more of a light, not only for ourselves but also a light for others.

Enjoy a nice and cozy Christmas in which it is good to come home to.

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Leadership is still falling short in inspiration and soul engagement of employees.

A short while ago one of my friends wrote me an email. Part of her message was about the organization she is working in. Her story made me a little bit sad because I recognized it so much. With our programs we try to close the gap, that seems to be still there, in an easy way.Most companies or organizations still do not take any (or adequate) action to do something about and with it. Missed opportunity and chance!

To share a part of her mail:

 

"What I regret to the branch in which I work is that there is so little attention to balance and development for the individual. And then to consider that we have to work much longer and just about everyone goes through certain stages in their lives. That is where   leadership still rather falls short, because I see in my area that more and more people are looking for meaning and making sense and that's not really a topic for reflection and talking about ! Inspiration is often far away ... and that's just my (only) motivation, I see this more and more. "

I don’t understand, just in times of crisis, management does not show more commitment on the relatively simple phenomenon ‘business with soul engagement’. To give attention to and invest (more) in underlying inspirational energy of their employees. Fortunately people are talking more and more about it and understanding the issue.But the ‘SMART systems’ which are used for measuring, are not  very helpful because soul engagement is not 'measurable '. It is hard to give 'feeling’, which is part of soul engagement, a mark or a grade.

So better to not begin with it at all, smirk it of with 'woolly' or 'spacey' and with a kind of general excuse; ‘Can’t we go on with the things that really matter in our business…’

Modern work has changed dramatically. More than half of the organizations is working with teams. Network organizations create other desired leadership and contribute to an explosive growth of connected 'colleagues'. Gigantic rapid technological developments and communication networks connect people who do not really know each other. Wherever people literally work together in teams on the work floor it is becoming more natural to put knowledge, experience and specific talents of the individual to serve the common interest.

Binding and servant leadership contribute to the ability of individual managers to know their  employees and are aware of their specific talents, positioning them in the best way in a team for a better result. Often just only this already contributes to a better engagement, more inspiration and performance of both the individual as well as the team.

If you know how to inspire employees to contribute to a job where they just have the unique qualities for. That you make them aware of their valuable contribution to the whole. In this way, work that comes faster and faster upon us will be of higher quality, with fewer errors (mistakes) and therefore is done faster. That is pure profit for both the organization and for the motivation and connecting with employees. Which was just the basis of business? Right...making profits!?

With the addition of inspiration and soul engagement ... far more than simply to be expressed in money...priceless.

Do you have the guts and the courage to search for inspiration and soul engagement in yourself or your organization ? Inspired, passionate and unique hands are doing faster and better jobs!  

Need or want some help? You know where to find us.

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Being nothing... makes you everything

In our world today it looks like it's all about 'being something'. A kind of 'ranking' within our system. Protruding with our head, just a bit above ground level. Although that may be dangerous as I know by experience.

Previously I have written that I am very grateful for the encouragement that I  always have had from my parents and my education. They thought and saw that there was 'more'. Which ever intermediate 'exits or junctions' I accessed on my path, they frequently brought me on another track. It was a trail of one step at a time, both within my education as well as in my jobs and positions, higher and more.

Through this step by step way, which I now often call Kaizen, I've been 'granted access' in various 'circles' or groups. I felt at home everywhere and was, as I hear now more often from people around me, always who I still am, "Changed in no way." However the 'circles' on the other hand, labeled me frequently as 'odd man out'. Someone who speaks his mind, a jester, who often said what others only dare to think. Inherited from my mother who was an actress, in whatever costume or layers of makeup she was covered, her real 'self' never hiding.

The story I heard, combined with my experience with Khun Wang, raised the question to me why we always need to be someone or something?

For years I was pretty proud of my uniform or civil suits in which I walked. "Feathers make fine birds," a known saying of my mother. And yes, I still think that's true. And yet there is something extraordinary behindit so I learned in the story and from Khun Wang.

A lot of people I know wear, to support their role or position, a kind of uniform. Whether it's a suit, a nice dress or real uniform. They are 'something' and they show it for that reason even more.

However, in most cases they shine only on the outside. They are busy throughout the day, from their own desire or the expectations they think the outside world has of them. To keep that beautiful plumage in position That takes a lot of energy. Which is absolutely not good for your health. And, another saying from my childhood; If you are on a high step on the ladder, you can also fall very deep

Here in Thailand, I get more and more great contacts with people who do not have the least of positions in the (international) business and governmental world. Awesome, nice profiles, studied a lot, amazing stories, enormous networks. And yes, it's true. I can also speak for myself.

And I now shaken awake, by their stories, is that outward displays make them absolutely not happy. Rather just vulnerable, sad and exhausted. Private stories that I will save you from. But I can tell you that they are often deeply sad. And on the outside ... they exude unbridled happines.

They work harder (they ‘must do’ by their own will) and present themselves to the outside world with ever more ostentation. And while they are often actually live on the inside a "broken home" life. Covered up good, though. A gigantic heavy burden they carry along on their shoulders. But ‘The show must go on’ ...

Khun Wang has nothing of all that. He is ‘nothing’ and he owns actually nothing. A state of 'nothingness'. But nothing makes him everything!

He is and remains human. He can, just like everyone else eventually take nothing with him. No one is hitting on him. Why would you envy him. He even shares what he doesn’t have, cold tea and some tropical fruit 'Dragon Eyes' from his garden.

He owns nothing and has nothing to hide. He does not participate in the 'game', has no antennae around him in order to keep an eye on who could cause him harm. He is open and therefor he enjoys everything around him. The other, in my experience real form of attention. And the best part is, you can always visit him and walk right into his ‘livingroom’. He always has time for you and is genuinely interested. He doesn’t, no he even need to get anything out of it.  He  just 'is'.

I remember them from the past as a child, people in the neighborhood who were 'nothing' and were always there. I remember them from everywhere I moved later on. Those people who, without ever asking, always were there gave what they had and have. ‘Voluntary work' they call it . Those people, who are supposedly ‘nothing’ to the (un) real world are the ones who are doing it perfectly right in my eyes.

Thankfully they’re still there. Those real warm open and sincere people who just always and only are there. Yes, they just are ...

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

The Simple Hapiness of Khun Wang

This past Sunday, early in the morning, I went with our dog Kadhow on the scooter again to a beautiful place where he can run freely. This time we went to another valley about 10 minutes drive away. We got off and were initially welcomed by three water buffaloes. Kadhow meanwhile doesn't look surprised anymore.

We walked up the hill and back down on the other side where we came in a beautiful valley, in the valley a small lake with a rock covered in gorgeous green, green and more green everywhere around. As we walked further down I noticed on the right in the bushes a little cabin. I had seen this once before. Now there was barking shortly a member of Kadhow's 'family'. Apparently there was someone home.

As we walked along, we saw the owner, standing there with a razorblade and was shaving himself, he stepped outside to see what was going on. Kadhow was on his 'practice' belt. "Aah, nice exercise," the man said in somewhat broken English and stuck his thumb in the air. I nodded at him and walked on with my dog. We walked about an hour through the valley and the hills.

On our way back we walked past the cabin again. There were two incredibly beautiful, spotless white, chickens under a size cover which was basically the roof of the 'shack'. On the floor, in the mud, a couple of old rice bags and on the bench in front of the cottage was the owners dog.

The owner, who later introduced himself as Khun Wang (Khun here means Mr. or Ms.), asked me to come and sit under his roof. My first reaction was to skip the invitation. However Kadhow was very interested (and actually deep down inside me too). So we decided to take the offer anyway.

We sat down on a bamboo bed / mat and I promptly was offered a Rosella iced tea in a broken white cup. More than friendly. Yet from a Western perspective you still you think for a moment whether this is responsible to drink. Immediately I pushed that thought out of my head. It's great nonsense. Kind of like bring your own syringe needles for safety as you might end up in a hospital. There's just nothing wrong with this country and we could learn something from the healthcare here. That is genuine care. People talk one another sick (and a lot of money is making by this). So I sat there with Khun Wang with the cold tea in a 'not so clean' cup.

Khun Wang did his best to make himself understood in English Hats off! Which also went not bad. It seemed like two 'people with disabilities' in English, one a little bit worse than the other, but who certainly understood each other at an emotional level. An amazing experience!

Khun Wang began making me understand that he seemed to be poor but that he was certainly not. Each morning as he woke up he overlooked the lake and his land. In the distance he pointed me to where his land reached into the valley. "If I would sell it, which of course I won’t, I would be rich. But why would I sell it? I am rich already. "

I looked at him slightly confused. He smiled at me with the teeth he still had in his mouth. In the gaps between his teeth, some white rice grains which he ate for breakfast, just before he came out of his small ‘back room/storage/ kitchen / bedroom '. He wanted to explain me his wealth.

"You sure must have a Thai wife," he asked me. I denied that. Well that was quite good, he said. Almost all foreign men came to Thailand for a Thai wife he thought. Usually old men who wanted to marry very young Thai woman. So I belonged, in his eyes to a minority and that, he thought was very good. Yet he told me that Thai women very often were beautiful and sweet. I had to pay attention to it in another life he told me with a grin.

Khun Wang had no wife and no children. That was a burden he would rather not have. He had several girlfriends and, as he said furthermore, those girlfriends had him. Freedom, happiness and no obligations. It was always fun with each other and if it was not any more than you saw each other again some other time and then it was fun again. There were more than enough children already in Thailand. He said he is lazy and that ‘care’ was, if you were goanna do it good, a pretty heavy challenge. He enjoyed his own wealth and the worldly offers surrounding him which he took advantage of only if he wanted too. With a smile on his face he wished me luck with the parenting and care of the children that I had under my ‘protection’.

Why my head was bald, he asked me. I told him that it started as a joke some 15 years ago. Nice story, he said. But you know, I think you're just lazy too. And again he laughed. Look he said, I have my own pond full of fish. Do you think I sit down and catch them? Sometimes I go to the market and buy a fish. I meet people, have some nice conversations and if they aren’t nice any more than I come back here. No hassle on my mind. Sometimes someone comes with me and if not then it is also quite O.K.. Other people do fish here sometime. I think that's all good too. Sometimes they pay me something, but to go and fish myself ... I prefer to enjoy the view.

So in my opinion you are also lazy and that is why you shave your head. You don’t have no further worries about how you would look. and you shave your. We are "Same, same but different" and there was that smirk again.

He went into his 'lounge' and came back with a sturdy bunch of 'Dragon Eyes' (Longan). Tropical fruits that are currently growing in abundance here. "From my own land and trees," he said. For you. Way too many. I ate some of them and wanted to give the rest back, I thought he needed them for his own consumption. He wouldn’t take them, "take them for your beautiful European wife," he said to me. So I took them home.

After about twenty minutes I got up to leave. He asked me again to come back and to have a chat again. Good for me to learn Thai and for him to master his English. The dogs were apparently getting along too. Now that I was 'friend' I was always free to walk around on his land anytime and always welcome in his ‘house’ to talk.

Sure that I do that. Who knows, maybe I’ll take some participants in one of our programs to come along. Khun Wang will let you experience how you can be very simply happy with 'nothing'. Do you really wish for more ... 


Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

What if today was your last day?

From one of the participants of a Villa-Asia program we got a beautiful song after he was back home again. Just to say 'thank you' for the insight he got during his retreat.

We just want to share the song text and the link to the music on youtube. 

Maybe this is what life is all about…

Nickleback - If Today was your last day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Songwriters
KROEGER, CHAD

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com