Generation world citizens. Your children are not yours. Proud that they follow their dreams

Last January I visited my daughter Carlien in Perth, Australia. Far away? I always say the world is a village. It made me happy, emotional and proud to see how she lives her dream.

As parents you can often worry about your children. That's how it happened to me. Nothing strange about it, even though if you're in the middle of it, you think that you're unique with the problems of raising your child(ren). No one actually learns how to raise isn’t it? We follow our feelings and want to save our children any negative experiences from our own youth. Often we pass those experiences on to them through this (our) behavior, but that is another story.

As parents, you want the best for your children. And what that so-called 'best' is, you only made up in your own mind and send it on. In fact, it is pushing your children in the direction you want instead of what they want. And, my experience, that does not work at all. Although your intentions are good, you do not stimulate the unique set of talents of your children, present for fulfilling their personal life mission, in the right way. Often without even knowing we are the leader of their life instead of giving guidance.

Your children are not your children. They come through you but do not belong to you. It is your task to be there, to be available, for them and to stimulate them in what they need for their lives. Not in what you have in or created in your mind as the best future for them. For the present generation our world is a village. Something that I have always told my children and actually show them living it this way.

Their happiness and / or dream therefore does not have to be at the place where they were born, studied or where their family lives. The safe 'white picket fence' life I never lived for my kids. Go ahead, discover, choose and know that the door to Dad is always open.

As parents we have given enough (positive and negative things and experiences) and now you can do it yourself. Nature shows us the same isn’t it? Birds still fly out and start to live their own lives. Maybe we think too much and we follow too little our natural, feeling or instinct. Instinct? Yes, we still have that!

After her study of and degree in Oriental Languages ​​(Chinese) Carlien went to Australia to find out that those languages ​​were not her dream any longer. She got and gets more and more life experiences guiding her to find her way and follow her life track. Lots of contacts and friends, especially from the motor world and groups she is in (and even I got on her big bike for a while). She discovered she wanted to do more with her hands as a craftswoman and wanted to study this practice. Now she is doing a two year study to become a light vehicle mechanic for special vehicles and machinery for the mining industry. Oh why not. She is free in her choices, goes for it and ... especially enjoys every day.

Many people I know find it all strange. Certainly that I stimulate this thinking and acting. I, in return, find them locked in fixed and imprinted patterns. Your life can not go wrong. You cling to all kinds of so-called 'certainties'? I see it all around me. As long as you are not certain of good health (nobody is), you may be better off choosing enjoying every day. And for me that has nothing to do with reckless behavior but with your LIVING life.

Proud to see how my kids show me that every day. A form of self-reliance with pleasure.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

captijninsight@gmail.com

It still exists. About excellent service and customer relations.

Another new experience in Thailand. The maintenance of my car. Talking about excessive service. It can still be given.

Three weeks ago I received a text message from Mazda to remind me that my car is now almost half a year old and / or maybe I had already 10,000 km driven and if I wanted to make an appointment for a check-up.

Very normal. A kind of ‘health’ check-up of the car. Regular maintenance is a must and serves safety as well. Good to get a reminder.

I made an appointment for February 7th. I was told it took at least two hours of time. OK. 6 February in the morning I got a call from the garage to tell me again of the appointment.

I was fifteen minutes early and was warmly welcomed by a gentleman in Mazda uniform with a list on which I could fill in any wishes and defects. I was invited to go inside the waiting room of the garage and was given the opportunity for free lunch, coffee, soft drinks, pastries, etc .. A movie, in English with Thai subtitle, was shown in a kind of small cinema in the waiting room. Regularly a nice young lady checked if I wanted something to eat or drink and after I asked for something, she brought it neatly.

On a screen I could see, indicated with lights in red, orange, yellow and green, the progress of maintenance of my car and through a large glass wall to the workshop I could see how technicians worked on it. After more than an hour technical works, repairs and the changing of various oils etc. (red), the screen (orange) indicated that the car went to the quality check. Then a yellow light came on in the screen in the waiting room to announce the car went to the carwash. Never had that experience before with any car I had in The Netherlands. Washed from the outside and inside and dry cleaned the entire engine compartment. The rims specially brushed and the tires blacked / greased again.

After a total of two hours someone came to pick me up and I was introduced to a, so it seemed, brand new car. The bonnet open and I got an explanation about everything and what was done and which (synthetic) oils were replaced.

5 lists of quality checks were shown to me and explained and I had to sign afterwards and of course pay.

I was escorted to my car again and a gentleman from the Mazda accounting department and a lady from customer relations accompanied me to the car, thanked me, wished me a safe trip and hoped to see me again and waved at me from the stairs of the showroom.

All together for 1.875 Thai Baht, about not even 50 Euro.

Talking about customer and product care.  

Viriya Mazda in Chiang Mai, TOP service !!!

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

captijninsight@gmail.com

Picture / photo receiving, instead of shooting or taking, an art of observing

Since about half a year I am member of Chiang Mai’s Photographic Group. A group of international people most living in Chiang Mai. Hobby and professional photographers meeting every other week to share their work and learn from each other. Every member having its own specialty like landscape, nature, wildlife, culture, portrait, you name it. Variety of insights and inspirations.

January 26^th – February 10^th this year our group had its yearly exhibition. This time at Central Plaza at Chiang Mai Airport. Happy our group members voted two of my pictures to be in the show. 

An ongoing stream of spectators visit the exhibition and being there two mornings/afternoons as a host it was nice to see how people took the time to discover and to be touched by the art of watching.

Doing photography as a hobby and more and more as a kind of meditation to practice the art of stopping, it was wonderful for me to see people stop and to experience, actually to receive, the pictures.

Isn't it actually strange many photographers talk about ‘taking a picture’ or ‘photo shooting’. As if photography is a kind of aggressive way of getting. When you take the time to be patient and open to receive what is showing to you, photography is really a joyful way of meditation.

The most wonderful thing, although many photographers do, is you do not have to visit all kind of places in the world to receive the best or most wonderful pictures. Photography, the art of stopping, waiting and watching what is showing to you, you can see as a contemplative activity.

If you change the idea or even habit of ‘taking’ and ‘shooting’ pictures in ‘receiving’ pictures, I am sure now, watching all our spectators in the exhibition, you touch people in a different and much deeper way.

Receiving a picture is making connection with the beauty and underlying meaning of what the world wants to show to you.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

captijninsight@gmail.com

Achieve your dream and do it now. That world trip? Go and stop with your general excuses.

Picture, thanks to, Adam Pleasance

No unique story Frans (or still)? Yes, of course, you often hear these kinds of stories. It is nice and easy to say. In theory easy but in practice difficult to do, I am nearly sure you will think. Aha, the first general excuse is already there!

I am a member of a group of photographers in Chiang Mai. Some weeks ago one of our members, at our two weekly group meeting, told and showed the story of the trip around the world he, his wife and their two sons made on specially made bicycle tandems. No free rides for the kids. Also the children needed to paddle and for that some special arrangements needed to be made on the tandems.

He started his story that their children were still young, 8 and 10 years old, and they both had a good job as teachers at a school in Great-Britain. He was headmaster of the school. They had a beautiful house, a nice car on the lane, a big television, actually everything you could imagine as a very successful young couple full flourishing in their career.

Many times they talked and contemplated together about what life was all about and what the future would bring. An even bigger television, a nicer house, higher positions, an even more expensive car? And did they really want that? Was that, for them, the meaning of life?

Picture, thanks to, Adam Pleasance

The idea came up, as a family, to make a journey around the world. Because they were both cyclists, they developed special tandems for it. They struggled with a lot of opposition and (preliminary) judgments and decided to follow their own feelings. To trust themselves, take that step and just to do it. They sold their house, their car and that television as well, and they left. An almost 3½ year bicycle trip with two tents, stuff you really need (not so much needed to survive) on two tandems. Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa, America, Canada, we got to hear and see it all that evening.

The most beautiful memories as family they all still have are not so much all those places that they have seen, not the flat tires they sometimes got, but especially the warm and open contacts, help and friendships that they received and still have. People who offered a place to sleep, helped in case of a flood, offered their apartment for free for a few nights, etcetera.

They had to go back because, although living a basic and cheap life and also receiving some funding’s during the trip, after 3½ years they ran out of money. They only still had 40 British pounds left after they were back in the UK. And there you are... Nearly nothing left, great experiences but… at the beginning again. Apply for a job? Very hard. It did not work in the normal way. Many letters to apply for a situation but no jobs. The key was in India. During their trip they had visited an international school. This school was willing to offer them a job so the family moved to India. The start of a further career at international schools in several countries. And now… because of that same cycling experience... retirement in their beloved Thailand.

Opposition, in your own head, through systems and people around you that discourage these kinds of steps. For example: "You cannot keep your children from school". Who says? And who is in charge of those children? Of course you are responsible for offering education and don’t you offer this with these kinds of trips? My photographer friend and his wife took study books and yes, they were both teachers. But still, especially in this time, studying online is no longer a problem. Be creative. Discover and think in possibilities. That is just switching the basics of your thoughts and to have the guts to let go of systems and (so-called) certainties and to trust yourself. The harvest? No regrets about things you wanted to do in your life but did not do. Just give it a try and do it.

And as far as those certainties are concerned, if you think deeply, isn't it so that the only certainty you have in this life is that you die at some point? And if you do not trust yourself, who or what can you actually trust?

Their children have become world citizens out of experience and practice, friendships around the world. Not from Facebook or anything else but by talking face-to-face and just playing on the street during the trip not even understanding most of their friends foreign languages. They have learned how to survive (yes even without 'social' media and I-Phone), to come with creative solutions and to accept the help of other people who solve things in their own way.

In The Netherlands we have the Dutch television program “Ik vertrek” (I leave). Dutch people who leave the country to start a living abroad. On the farewell party, part of every program, nearly always friends, neighbors and acquaintances say: “That they leave…It's nothing for me, but if I am really honest… I'm a bit jealous".

Follow your dream and do it now. You run out of time. Your life can not go wrong if you stimulate the hidden treasure in you by living an adventure.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

captijninsight@gmail.com