As parents
you can often worry about your children. That's how it happened to me. Nothing
strange about it, even though if you're in the middle of it, you think that
you're unique with the problems of raising your child(ren). No one actually learns
how to raise isn’t it? We follow our feelings and want to save our children any
negative experiences from our own youth. Often we pass those experiences on to
them through this (our) behavior, but that is another story.
As
parents, you want the best for your children. And what that so-called 'best'
is, you only made up in your own mind and send it on. In fact, it is pushing
your children in the direction you want instead of what they want. And, my
experience, that does not work at all. Although your intentions are good, you
do not stimulate the unique set of talents of your children, present for
fulfilling their personal life mission, in the right way. Often without even
knowing we are the leader of their life instead of giving guidance.
Your
children are not your children. They come through you but do not belong to you.
It is your task to be there, to be available, for them and to stimulate them in
what they need for their lives. Not in what you have in or created in your mind
as the best future for them. For the present generation our world is a village.
Something that I have always told my children and actually show them living it
this way.
Their
happiness and / or dream therefore does not have to be at the place where they
were born, studied or where their family lives. The safe 'white picket fence'
life I never lived for my kids. Go ahead, discover, choose and know that the
door to Dad is always open.
As
parents we have given enough (positive and negative things and experiences) and
now you can do it yourself. Nature shows us the same isn’t it? Birds still fly
out and start to live their own lives. Maybe we think too much and we follow
too little our natural, feeling or instinct. Instinct? Yes, we still have that!
After her
study of and degree in Oriental Languages (Chinese) Carlien went to Australia
to find out that those languages were not her dream any longer. She got and
gets more and more life experiences guiding her to find her way and follow her life
track. Lots of contacts and friends, especially from the motor world and groups
she is in (and even I got on her big bike for a while). She discovered she
wanted to do more with her hands as a craftswoman and wanted to study this practice.
Now she is doing a two year study to become a light vehicle mechanic for
special vehicles and machinery for the mining industry. Oh why not. She is free
in her choices, goes for it and ... especially enjoys every day.
Many
people I know find it all strange. Certainly that I stimulate this thinking and
acting. I, in return, find them locked in fixed and imprinted patterns. Your
life can not go wrong. You cling to all kinds of so-called 'certainties'? I see
it all around me. As long as you are not certain of good health (nobody is), you
may be better off choosing enjoying every day. And for me that has nothing to
do with reckless behavior but with your LIVING life.
Proud to
see how my kids show me that every day. A form of self-reliance with pleasure.
Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)
Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.
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