Communication is having sex (experiences out of the Tantra introduction workshop)

Every Monday evening I guide an introduction to Tantra workshop here at The Pavana Chiang Mai Resort. Most guests do only have a little bit of understanding what Tantra is about. What they primarily have in mind is that it has everything to do with sexuality. And because of this (very narrow) view they seem to be a bit shy first to learn more about Tantra. 
Joining the workshop together with some other guests at first sight feels a bit more comfortable. Most of the times after already only one minute of joining the class they feel totally at ease, engaged with the theme, curious to understand and willing to practice as well.

Tantra has everything to do with a mind, body and soul approach. And there where the regular Buddhist meditation practice is focused on training the mind, the meditation in relation to pink Tantra is not at all focused on the (trouble making) mind but on the heart. Skip the idea of Tantra is learning techniques. Tibetan Buddhist Tantra has to do with opening and following your heart. No technique at all. No performing. No pleasing. And believe it or not, no sex deed is needed to create bliss and a much richer experience of intimacy.

Pink Tantra? Yes. A combination of White (more the spiritual individual way to create an ongoing feeling of bliss) and the Red (more the sensual and sexual way of exploring with a partner independently of gender).

This first shyness to join the introduction class/workshop already tells a lot. Shyness has to do with peoples programming. With experiences of the past and all kind of institutions and believe systems that tried to indulge us that it’s wrong and sometimes even dangerous to give attention to the full potential of your body, mind and soul. Still Tantra for many people and cultures is banished. The word ‘sex’ still nowadays invites to be curious, find a dark private place to connect with, or pushes away (actually from yourself) and even sometimes creates a feeling of guilt.

How is it possible a word can do this? Ever took the time to look deeper into what the meaning of sex actually is? There is so much more to discover. Communication for instance is sex.

Sex is energy, even better to say life-force energy. Sexual energy and life-force energy are exactly the same. And Tantra is the sacred approach to free and expand inner life-force energy (Kundalini) to get bliss by emptying your mind, leave the focus on the genitals and to connect, listening and respond to (true) love. To connect with and experience the interweaving of life-force energy.

Interweaving and flow of energy only is possible if there is a difference in polarity. In Tantra, we usually speak about the feminine and masculine poles. Talking about communication in a Tantric way listening is passive, feminine, and speaking is male (independent of gender). Speaking is a penetration of you and you are receptive to it. Between a speaker and a listener a sex act is happening because the speaker is trying to penetrate you and the listener is receiving and the other way around. And if you are listening in a way that you only use the time-frame the other person is speaking to make up your mind for your own story... then there is no real communication so no sex. 

Communication happens only when one party has become male and the other party has become female, otherwise there can be no communication. Wherever negative and positive meet, sex happens. Wherever polarities meet, opposites meet, it is sex.

Getting this understanding sex gets a much wider meaning. Not (only) the act but much stronger the embracing of the appearance and sustaining of intimacy.  

And in this way Tantra is about all of life - the way you eat, the way you treat your body, the way you meditate, the way you relate to friends and family, the way you connect with your intimate partner as well as how other beings experience your life-force energy.

With this in mind you can tell me now that if communication is already having sex, life is sex. So all the people with the first very narrow understanding of Tantra actually were right. And so they were. The only thing is that after the workshop they got a much wider view and understanding, in comfort, to connect with their full potential. They learn the first natural steps, so no techniques, to empty their (programmed) trouble making mind, to absorb life force energy and to reach high levels of bliss.

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Getting older and the new dimension of intimacy. The meaningful deeper journey of discovery to bliss in your current or new relationship.

From my previous work I still remember that there were people who would follow the PIS-course at the end of their career. Pension In Sight. One of the components of that course was to get to know your partner again. To review the development and situation of your relationship - the mutual bond, intimacy and communication in it - together. Do you want to invest in your relationship in this new situation? If so how?

You do not have to be old or retired at all to know together, if you are honest with yourself and your partner to agree that the intimacy and sensuality in your relationship actually often has diminished. Maybe even is very poor nowadays. That there is still little to share with and learn from each other.

That which perhaps once started so energetically is now on a fairly low or at least a bit lower level. The challenge is less, you know each other (you think) and what's there still more or new to discover? The social media on your mobile, for example, your leisure time club life or television, are much more attractive and in the meantime you remain so busy with everything that’s going on in your life.

Little time, and a lower need, to invest a lot in each other, in your mutual relationship.

That is not only more than a pity. It is also a missed opportunity for better health and a happier and more energetic (blissful) life. After all, both of you run out of time as well… Do you permit that happiness and that energy (which is free available) to run away like loose sand between your fingers?

If you are not (both) willing to invest in it you do not grant yourself, your partner and the world around the best possible ‘harvest’ of living your life. At least that is something I discovered here from experiences working with guests and by further deepening and studying.

That which once started out of a passionate desire - often surrounded with lots of exciting sex and lust - now has become so common that the need for it, at least with your own partner, has faded away. The adventure is pretty much finished. It’s maybe still now and then the 'performance' to get away with it and after that (usually for the men) quickly fall asleep. Whether it will actually be satisfaction of yourself and of each other, we do not even wonder. Let alone that we wonder about the quality of it. We know by ourselves the answer for a long time already, but keep that answer mainly for ourselves, only thinking that the partner does not recognize this. A kind of taking a selfie with that beautiful smile. A kind of smile that, immediately after the picture is taken, ends up in the fridge.

What I have learned, working with guests in programs here, is that most people do not even know themselves (body, mind and soul) let alone each other. That the adventures expedition, that start of both your romantic journey, might be over in your head. Realize it’s only over in your head. In practice you have only taken the first steps on the path of the relationship with yourself and with your partner. There is still a long way to go if you are open (and willing) to it. An expedition in the discoveries of intimacy, sensuality, freedom, life energy, joy and bliss. A new dimension.

And that expedition is another one than you have experienced so far. That which you have experienced so far has only been a foreplay. You (finally) let go of all those thoughts in your mind and that primary focus on your genitals. Actually, your thoughts and focus on those organs ruined maybe more of your wellbeing than you ever thought.

You focus on a much deeper level of connection with your partner through your heart and soul. A deeper way of experiencing blissful interaction. One that is focused on true connection and being understood. On (inner) energy flow. Learning to know each other on a deeper level. Experiencing a physical and spiritual / divine free bond. Both literally and figuratively a different communication and sensation. Deeper and closer attention to and interest in each other. Not only in the late evening hours but a stimulating energetic sensation of wanting to give to and take from the other during the whole day.

A discovery journey first of yourself and after that together with your partner. Long-lasting experience of energy flow, intimacy, sensuality and above all ... of slow experiencing. Taking and giving the time (quality time) for each other. Aren’t you both worth that time?

And what about that 'act' you think is necessary? That is no longer the focus. Making love is so much more. The attention is no longer on that act. When it comes or shows itself that’s not more than natural and totally OK but there is no need anymore. It is (again) about a much more intense experience of true loving than ever before. From experiencing yourself and the other person deeper, to learn to understand and appreciate the meaning of loving yourself and the other person (and what it, deep down, always for you has been). Discovering and living the three kinds of intimacy: Physical, emotional and spiritual.

And again, do not believe that you really have to be that old. That can be so and very often that 'low pitch' arises much earlier. Even in a still young or new relationships, regardless of your age, I notice here that such an expedition gives a closer, deeper, connection and flow. For sure, those discoveries are fantastic experiences, insights and reinforcements. And this is not a kind of egoistic act. You do not only feel that yourself or together with your partner. You are radiant in this to the world around you.

And the best thing is that you've already all of this stored inside yourself for a very long time. It is literally an experience of dis-covering. Take the cover, the lid, off and release that valuable treasure in yourself to enjoy Life and Love more intensely. And sometimes, perhaps from your partner, you need a little bit a push or support in your back to come into action. 

Great to be able to cope with the energy of people who discover and experience this here in an intensive eight-day program. That playful new stage and phase in and with themselves and with each other.

Do you want to react, do you have any questions about this or do you confidentialy want to share something with me? Mail to: captijninsight@gmail.com.

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Pondering about my next parents. "We don't need no education...hey teacher leave them kids alone."

The last week of the year I took even more time to contemplate on my life. What I already learned and, like everyone running out of time, about what there still is to learn and share this lifetime. 

I was even pondering about my next life. Many times before in my blogs I wrote about my idea life will not stop. Yes, you leave your body because it cannot serve you any longer in the process of growing. So change is needed otherwise there cannot be any growth. What a rich understanding if the time is there your soul frees itself from the temporary structure (your body) to make steps forward again. For me it’s not even my belief anymore. Even deeper it is trust. Maybe for many people a strange thought. But this is not where this week’s blog is all about.

I was thinking about what kind of next parents I want to have in that life and where to be born again. Don’t get me wrong I am more than thankful, grateful, happy and honored by the parents I have and, although not physically on this world anymore, I meet on a daily base. And no, I was not under any influence of alcohol or drugs and not dreaming ;). Just thoughtful.

Living a total different life and lifestyle then I lived before in The Netherlands and in my role as a CEO I discovered I am not another brick in the wall. And getting the possibility to make steps forward again I want to go on with that. Happy both of my children also discover there is much more and a wider experience of living life not being that other brick in the wall as well.

Yes there are all kind of systems in every country, in every culture, in every religion. And without some rules it will be very hard to live all together in the village I call world. But is it always necessary to follow all the systems? Aren’t we still ‘free’ human beings to make our own choices?

Thinking about the kind of next parents I want to find, immediately I connected with a couple I know from here. A Thai lady, a man from Great Britain and their son. Actually for me this couple is more than special. They are very, very special. Unique and different. No other bricks in the wall.

And I don’t think there are many couples in the world who are like them living love, living life, going their own way, where possible do not follow systems. They feel home in the village ‘World’ wherever they are together as a family. Freedom in bond. They offer their son and themselves the ‘Street University of Life’. Doing what they can to not let their child follow the systems but getting life experiences. So, so far and I think he is already 8 years old, he is not going to school. In a playful way he learns from cultures, he speaks and writes several languages, he is more than clever (living his inner wisdom) and get the support from his parents to be who he is and just to explore life completely how and what it is. A soul with loving and inspiring parents who are not willing him to unlearn by systems what all is stored within this boy. Great to see and sometimes this parents really show they have the guts to ‘beat’ the system.

Have you ever thought about the idea that science is the development of knowledge and wisdom is the development of learning from Life? These people go for the latter and show their son what that can be for stimulating self-development.

Thinking all this things over I thought about the idea to write them, living in Mexico at that moment, a compliment that they plopped up in my mind as the kind of parents I want to have in my next life. I got a wonderful email back. Find a part of it in relation to their son and his not going to school:

“The mass freely compliment (Name of the boy) on his take on life and his sharpness and always want us to recommend his school to them!!!....Ah no school comes the answer. The teachers need to learn from him we say...Many see it as a joke answer, whilst others are so conditioned to belong to the system, enslaving the new energy within society they in turn give a lecture as what to do!!!....Like it worked for them...not.

His knowledge is not borrowed from schools it is within or 'in' (intrinsic, intelligence and intuition).

To be fair existence has beautifully coincided so many time keeping (Name of the boy) away from this conditioning...again so very grateful.

As Pink Floyd....another brick in the wall...we don't need no education...hey teacher leave them kids alone.”

In my opinion most parents are unable and unwilling to offer the freedom for their child or children to explore and be who they are. I am happy already about 10 years to be on the ongoing discovery journey of what my life is all about. Turn the bricks of lessons, experiences and even thoughts around. For myself and for many others I took my brick out of the wall.

I discovered there is so much more ‘in’ me and there is still more to explore and to share. Being myself. As much as possible free from the systems. Already far on the journey of learning to unlearn again. 

This type of multicultural parents who are living true love and exploring the worth of life. Were ‘home’ is being together somewhere in the village called World. Who are having the guts to free themselves and me, for as far as I am not able to do it myself yet, from any systems possible. Not afraid of what the world thinks about them. Who act and contribute out of love and help me to get and keep the ongoing feeling of bliss. Who grant me the possibility to go on even deeper exploring myself and to share my treasures with the world around. Who stimulate my inner wisdom to flourish. Who protect me against people who do not understand me yet. Who trust me and believe in me. Who help me not at all to be another brick in the wall. Who are connected with living life and who knows work in conscious and engaged business as a part of family energy and changing living environments.

Why? Most businesses thrive on the unconscious market...the more unconscious the product the more financial success… is the thought. Actually the less sustainable happiness and bliss.

I hope they will show and offer me real wealth that money cannot bring… A healthy life, lifestyle and contribution, in supporting my intelligence and intuition to grow in love, in staying my true self and in sharing my uniqueness.

Maybe this will bring another healthy ripple in the pond…

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Don’t try to do your best to live a different life this New Year. Just DO it!

This year I received lots of Christmas and New Year’s wishes and also emails. Worked with guests around Christmas. Reading the wishes, the mails and working with my guests I got the understanding many people know they are not really LIVING life or live the life they want. Satisfying others, not being themselves any more. They experience they are in a kind of vicious circle. Living a life they actually do not want living (any longer) but earning money and fulfilling expectations, so they go on living a life they don’t really want living. Isn’t that strange.

And they also know what they need to change and what makes them really healthy and happy. Immediately after writing or telling me this, actually telling themselves, it’s so terribly hard to change their life(style) but they try to do their best in this New Year. I am sure they will not succeed. They stay in their vicious circle. Not serving themselves and not serving the world around in the best possible way.

Why do we constantly put off until later what we intuitively know is of the highest importance? Isn’t it strange you know you live an unhealthy life or lifestyle and to say it’s so hard to change but you will give it (only) a try? Giving you already a General Excuse to stay discontent? It only takes one person to change your life. You!

Take a sincere look at yourself. Where are you in your life? What have your priorities been up till now and what do you intend doing with the time you have left? Are you really the best you can be? Is there a need to remain as you are now? Who do you (only) think you are serving with this dissatisfaction?

In the West, we are consumed from morning till night by endless activity. We do not take much time to consider the basic causes of our happiness or suffering. We imagine doing even more activities or care more, our sense of dissatisfaction will fade away. But the truth is that many of us continue to feel let down and more and more frustrated by our contemporary life(style).

Very few people would say there is nothing worth improving in the way they live and experience the world. However, some people think their own particular weakness and conflicting emotions are something rich that contributes to the ‘fullness’ of their lives. They take the point of view their way of living is ‘normal’ or ‘natural’, and that it’s all about accepting ‘human nature’.

Are you willing to change, do you have the guts to change? Giving it only a try this year does not bring you any further. So stop with that, go on suffering or building up even more unhappiness or… just change it. Do it!

From one of my friends, actually one of my former teachers, I got a story that possible can help you making the change to start LIVING life. And yes, maybe at first sight and for a short while it will be hard to let go and you will suffer a bit. Afterwards you are proud of yourself, you feel free, much better. And not only will you feel better. You serve the world around you much more as well. If you do not accept or make the choice for change, you will not grow.  

This friend sent me a story from Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. As a witness she recorded their top five regrets in this last weeks of their lives.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Do not do your best to give it a try. Do it!

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Captijn Insight Thailand New Year's Wish 2018

New Year's Wish

Every wish is a gift

If you grant someone something beautiful, you give something beautiful.

If you grant someone something ugly, you give something ugly.

And if you then understand that we get back hundredfold everything we give

('Whoever sows wind will reap storm'), then it is actually highly remarkable

and extremely regrettable that we only have a few days a year

to wish others good things and that all of these wishes

usually do not extend beyond our family, friends and acquaintances.

We do not grant ourselves and the people around us enough rewarding and wish for.

That's why I wish for you the following things in the coming year:

Enough discernment to see everything that comes on your life path as necessary to learn and to grow and to do exactly what the situation demands and needs at the right time.

Enough trust in the natural course of things to not feel compelled to compete.

An effortlessly flowing and being present for that which appears to you.

Enough space in your life to take every day a moment to wish all beings in the world beautiful things.

Enough light in your heart to not exclude anyone out of this wish

or, if that does not work, enough silence in your mind to sincerely find out what is holding you back.

And furthermore;

That you may discover what’s your deepest purpose and desire of your life and that you may be given everything that is needed to live that deepest desire.

Of course, this wish does not limit itself only to you but also applies to the people around you, all people I know and all people that I do not know (in so far as there is any difference between the latter two groups).

A brilliant 2018 ( Buddhist year 2561)!

Frans Captijn

Host Captijn Insight work-retreat programs

(Captijn Insight wishes you a nice transition to a year in which you can receive love and friendship, give the best of yourself in function of your own development, and develop the courage and strength to complete the next steps on your life path, supported by good health (by taking full responsibility for it in the first place yourself)).

We hope to meet you in 2018 at one of our programs.

(Thanks for the inspiration to my former teacher and members of the Satsang of the Padma Center, Middelburg-NL)

Distraction. The unbroken connection with unrest ... The fear and escape for rest and coming home.

Many people who have already been here at the place where I live and work, regularly and independently of each other have said that they think I live in Paradise. To be honest that feels like a super compliment about that what I call ‘being home'.

Mainly for me it is the experience of the high energy level I experience here, the connection with nature (flora and fauna) and culture. The, for me, much stronger relationship with what is LIVING life all about than I had ever before. All available for free. It’s just a matter of opening your senses to accept.

The Pavana Chiang Mai Resort, where I live and work, calls itself; 'The one-stop destination for healthy living'. A holistic approach.

After all, being healthy does not only have to do with your physical body. Your mind, emotional balance, spiritual connection and deepening and insight into you’re your approach to your energy givers and drainers are also part of it. All of great importance to feel intensely 'healthy' and therefore also to be able to really call yourself ‘healthy’.

In the approach of the physical body, the resort also works together with an external organization that mainly focuses on the body fitness. People of literally all types / come-off and sizes who are here for a week or sometimes more. Intensively busy with their body. And with the temperatures we have here and in relation to the intense and heavy program is not always only having fun I can tell you. A program especially full of intensive physical activities. No stopping or standing still. Running, cycling, swimming, training. When I often see the bitter faces of many participants, I sometimes wonder if they do not experience it as a temporary physical torment for the 'good cause' instead of the possible introduction of the invitation to a long life healthier and more enjoyable lifestyle. But if people really give it a place, make it a routine in their lives afterwards? I just and only wonder.

And actually this does not make any difference with doing a detoxification program here. Giving your body only a one time gigantic shock by heavy cleansing cannot really be healthy in my eyes. You need to change your lifestyle. The intention is to see it as a start to do that.

Recently when I walked to the Sala, my open classroom here on the hill, I met a man from that fitness program. Outwardly he looked stressed, completely caught in his mind, headphones on his head (more and more people I see walking around with it).

I tried to speak to him. Of course he did not hear me. I could hear the hard fitness/workout music on his ears from a distance. Totally in a kind of 'trans'. He finally saw my approach to connect with him and took the trouble to take his earphones from his ears and to hang them around his neck for a short while. In the for me now even more noise created by the device, I told him that he missed the free available fantastic bird and animal sounds in this paradise as a gift to remember the start of a brand new day. If looks could kill…

When I returned home I saw that I had not turned that morning the ‘page of the day’ of my book "Wisdom from the Far East 365 Days" yet. So I did. And it showed me this:

"The wind blows and lies down. The birds are whistling. A dewdrop of a leaf falls in the deep valley of the mountain. Even more peaceful is the mountain. "

(Master Keizan)

A smile on my face arose. Accidently?

I am thankful and grateful to hear those birds every day, almost every day I witness the always different sunrise. Indeed I hear those dewdrops fall, my dog and myself breathing, the sound of my footsteps on the walking path and his dribble and especially ... all those fantastic morning sounds that the animals make at the crack of the day. That fantastic energy of the living environment. The smell of the forest, of the farmlands under the dew, or the rice paddies. The chanting of monks in the distance. The man who early brings his cows to his land and, hopping behind the animals, his little daughter in her school uniform supporting them. She is already ready for the school bus, but still helps to bring the cows to the land together with her dad. No mobile phone in her hand.

Yes ... indeed ... a paradise.

And does that all only have to do with here? I do not think so and I think certainly it plays a role. It’s more inviting but, not to everybody like the headphone man. Much more, however, I think it has to do with the lifestyle and your own choice to be able and allow yourself to connect with that what already is there. With that what is free available. With the silence. And do not get me wrong. Silence is not the absence of something. It is not. It is the invitation to be aware of the availability of everything that is already waiting, is already there, for you. For me a different connection than walking with music on my ears in this beautiful nature.

Always and forever the need for distraction. And if you ask people, they just do it to relax ... For me a run away from yourself. Fear of going and coming home to yourself.

So for me no headphones in that fantastic nature. Nice to hang them on the willows.

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Pure nature, pure connection. No pedaling a stationary bike that goes nowhere. Thanks to Kadhow

Last Saturday I worked with a wonderful group of 10 business women from Myanmar. The ‘girls’ offered themselves a four day program of movement and actually of standing still. Of stopping. A nice way of deepening and real connecting again. Time to breathe.

In the evening I organized a campfire meeting with the wonderful ‘Chiang Mai Khom Fai lanterns’. A playful way of letting go or to wish for. And after that we worked with connection dance. Accepting flow and feeling trust. All together till nearly midnight.

In the afternoon during their break two of the ladies of the group visited me and invited me to bring my dog that evening because all the ladies were animal lovers. I never got this question before and so actually, accept for the weekly hike, I never brought my dog to my classes. Sometimes, earlier when it was still living together with us, I brought my owl but my dog… never.

I looked Kadhow, my dog, in his eyes and his tail started to twist already. So I thought; let’s do it! It turned out it made the guests, my dog and me myself very happy and he behaved fabulous well.

During the campfire I got all kind of questions about him. As a six weeks old puppy he came into my life. He found me. A gift from a monk from the temple (Wat Saluang, about 20 minutes from here) he was born. Now, five years old (younh) already. I tell everybody who ask me what type of dog he is, what ‘brand’, that he is a Royal Thai Temple dog. This makes sense because temple dogs are sometimes believed to be former monks that in their former life did not behave very well and have to learn over again. To be honest I think Kadhow has to be more lives a temple dog because he still acts as a playful puppy. Knows how to steal what he wants to have and actually is always happy.

Once I got a book from my son Rik, who is a zoo keeper, to help me in how to raise a puppy to get an understanding and listening dog. The book showed all kind of pictures that shows the different expressions, body language, of dogs. Kadhow only shows me one expression. Always happy, not shy, and his tail with a curl in the air. The other pictures? Waste of paper in the book for him i guess.

I told my guests that Kadhow for me is my Buddhist monk and teacher. He is my fitness instructor, our house guard, my warning signal for snakes and other animals and reptiles in the forest. The guide who shows the tracks for hiking. The one who lowers the already very low threshold (actually takes it away) in making interactions and connections with other people and animals for me. The one that shows me empathy and understanding. My alert wake-up call if I only very seldom do not wake up on time. The one who shows what unconditional love is. My companion.

And last but not least he showed my last Sunday evening the one that goes on bringing me new branches out of the forest to keep the campfire - and so the nice chats and energy around - running.

The past is already gone, the future not yet there. The present moment is the only moment that life can be touched. And being aware of that is being aware that this is the only thing that never stops. Do not suffer, stop complaining, accept life as it is, do not worry. Be only yourself. That’s the teaching of my Buddhist temple dog.  

The campfire shining in his glittering, inviting, charming, and playful eyes. Guarding the group walking around several times. They call it instinct I guess. Wonderful to observe.

Pure nature, Pure connection. For me no pedaling a stationary bike going nowhere for hours or doing physical exercises to get my body fit. Without any effort I get it all for free and with a lot of fun, love and pleasure from my dog!   

What a wonderful experience to have a, for me THIS, dog Kadhow!

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

Don't expect less. Be happy to face you are different.

Last week I had a chat on Skype with my daughter in Australia. She had a sad experience in relation to her expectations. Still over and over again I have the same experiences (and my son as well). Feeling a bit sad about expectations not come true.

For over five years already in my house I have a sign (actually the only one because I do not like this ‘tile wisdom quotes’) on the mirrors in both my bathrooms. The one shown on the picture of this blog. The way to understand this ‘simple’ rules is less simple than they simple are.

Many times I get requests about the programs I offer in relation to flow, talents, purpose of live, transitions in live, personal development, and so on. People share a part of their life story and this stories resonate with me. I feel I can be available for them to work on their personal discoveries. Lots of times a couple of week interaction by mail and even Skype.

Believe it or not. After this intense and engage contact in about 1/3 of the cases at a certain moment there is full and total silence from the other side. You hear nothing anymore. For me it has a lot to do with no respect, no politeness and… for myself learning.

More and more guests who visit us here ask me to take a picture with me. Many want to have a copy of my poems and classes. They promise you to send you the picture. 90% Never does do. You send them the requested information the same day. 75% Not even a thank you. And I can go on sharing this kind of experiences. Not only work related it has also to do with lot of ‘social media friends’.

People ask you to connect on for instance LinkedIn and show interest in you. The first step for me to know they show interest is that they do not just and only push the unfriendly automatic button: “Hi Frans, I'd like to join your LinkedIn network.”, but write you a short personal message (so they take a little bit time to connect) and ask you about your life. One of the things for me to see they really want to spend a bit time to interact again is if they finish the sentence or couple of sentences with writing their greeting and name full. Many times it shows for instance (in Dutch): Gr. P (as Greets Peter or have a nice day Peter). Less and less people really are interested and take the time to connect. The wonderful digital world.

So am I not satisfied with this kind of things (and more as I already wrote down)? Actually it has not to do with satisfaction. It has everything to do with expectations. And facing that, there is still for me a lot to learn.

The mirror of this ongoing experience is that I am different (not better). My parents showed me another way. For me a way of real interest (again only my view), willing to interact on a deeper level, respect and of ‘keep your promise’ so people can trust you. Normal in my life.

And writing this, what I have to learn is not to feel sad about things not working out in the way I expect or expected. I just need to learn to turn that emotion (bring my mind in another motion) into a feeling of being happy. Happy because in this faster and faster world of ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’ and ‘I’, ‘I’, ‘I’, in my opinion over and over I face the mirror…’Be happy you are different’.

Not a bad idea for me to turn the last simple statement ‘expect less’ into ‘Accept you are different and be happy with that’. For me a reason to share my energy more and more with people who respect and interact with my differentness. 

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com

A great experience. We can improve the sensitivity of our senses

My son visited me recently for the second time this year again in Thailand. This time he brought a friend of him. Both together and sometimes the three of us had lots of fun discovering our wonderful surroundings.

His friend used to smoke. And because I do not smoke and do not like smoking in my house he respected me and used to smoke outside. No problem.

At a certain morning they wanted to do a cooking class in the city and needed to wake up early. To start the day my son's friend smoked a cigarette outside. Walking downstairs I felt extremely sensitive to the smell of the smoke and no this had nothing to do I once was a fireman.

It offered me the insight my senses improved their sensitivity or my response raised alertness the last couple of years. What and how did this happen?

Discussing this here with a guest I discovered at least four causes for this expansion of my awareness.

First of all in my opinion it has everything to do with the environment I live in now. I live and work at a health & wellness resort in a more than beautiful and natural environment in the Northern part of Thailand. It is a high energetic and peaceful place that really invites you to connect with yourself and with nature in a deeper way. Food and drinks are most of the time totally different than I was used in my former home country. It’s nearly always fresh and with an inviting rich blend of taste and smells here.

The second thing is I totally changed my life-style. For over 30 years I was a very busy scheduled manager till the end of 2010. I was connected with everything that happened in the world around me. Following the newspapers and the (inter)national news on radio and television and was 24 x 7 available for everyone and everything. Lots of email and social media connections. Always running.

For over five years now I am a person without a watch, no I-Phone, not reading the newspaper or watching the (inter)national news anymore. Actually I have no social media for more than half a year already. Not longing to get it again as well. I have no fixed schedule at all and I am living by the day. Enjoy face-to-face conversations and above the entrance of my house you find the text: “The clock won’t find you here.”. Walking with my dog and stopping lots of times to take the time to explore what I see, feel, hear, smell or even taste.
Confusius was right in saying: "Everywhere there is beauty but some people do not see it". I once joined that group that almost did not see it. And this has completely changed as part of my lifestyle change. What a blessing and wealth to be thankful for.

The work I do now has everything to do with mindfulness and awareness and on a daily base that’s training the senses and the mind. Meditation (like the labyrinth walk on the picture), mindful photography and Tantra workshops are continuous stimuli for the senses and the mind to become more sensitive.
And the funny thing is, that this is happening with our guests as well. This morning a guest who has already been here three times noticed that he had heard nine different bird sounds during my morning class about silence.

Last but not least it has to do with abstinence. Not everything is available at the moment you want to have it. Electricity, water, internet, milk, butter, bread, you name it. Sometimes waiting for it makes you first of all creative to discover supplements. On the other hand it makes you much more thankful for the availability of things if you need them.

Being much more sensitive over the years, offers me for free an even better understanding and appreciating of the availability of my life.

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com