The imprisonment of the programming of many parents

Considering my experiences of the past year, perhaps the things that touched me the most deep were the many stories I heard from younger generations about their parents and the disturbances in their relations with them. The imprisonment of their parents in relation to their programming. Their culture, religion, tradition, status, position, (family) pride and how they think other people think about them and about their family.

Several sometimes very sad stories. From people from Europe, America, Africa, Australia, New-Zealand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, Korea, but most of all from Hong Kong, Taiwan and China.

The younger generation more and more does not believe in ‘old happiness’ any longer. They try to escape the old vicious circle. The circle of going on with only thinking money, position and outside ego show will make you happy. They discover that following this - by former generations - engraved idea does not make happy at all in a sustainable way. It appears more and more a untrue story. Happiness is peace of mind. Getting more and more money does not create this peace of mind. There is never enough and if you have already enough money to live a happy live, you start worrying how to protect and keep that money. So what about peace of mind? And what if tomorrow the sun did not rise for you…? A rich (wo)man can be poor and a poor (wo)man can be rich…

The new generations want to connect more and more to what they desire. With sharing their uniqueness in the world around and earning a normal and real happy life. A world that more and more appears to be a big village. They think about what make them happy if money was no object. To find the real purpose of life and try to find creative ways of how to find and follow their mission, whatever other people think of it. The economy is changing.

Trying to escape the old circles causes most of the time lots of problems, disturbed relationships, wrong understanding, even exclusion.

Strange if we all recognize that, as a basic most natural law, between parents and children and children and parents the foundation (and intention) is UN-conditional love to each other. Whatever happens…

There is a lot to learn and a lot to understand for both generations.

For the parents, first of all, your children are not your children. They do not belong to you. They only come through you. Be aware they carry 50% of the genetic background of both parents. So isn’t it possible to trust ‘your’ children taking steps into their future? To keep the door always open for them as a safe harbour in times they (only think) they cannot make it? To stop clinging and pushing ‘your’ children in a direction you think that make them happy? To enjoy (and be proud) and support them to find creative ways to follow their mission (maybe you only dreamt about)? To see and feel your children are happy? And yes, like your life path, also their experience will be trial and error. It’s called accepting growing and accepting growing is accepting change. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth their own free way. Accept the target they want to reach.

For the new generation, your parents have the best intentions and for them sometimes it’s hard to understand what’s going on. They are from a different generation you know? So accept their way of trying to be there for you. Being available to guide you (not to push you) having your free choice of living your life and find happiness.

Much more than they ever got, you are blessed with different communication skills to explain what’s going on with you and what you want. There is nothing to convince, no debate, only dialogue and trying to get understanding from both sides. Not in a digital way but face-to-face.

And YES you are the new generation and also you will be ‘old’ generation in one of the next decades. So prepare yourself for that as well. Children have the future. Follow and fulfil your mission and show your parents they can be proud seeing YOU happy, whatever other people think of it. And do not forget this. Maybe you are in a much more fortunate position than your parents ever were to have the opportunity in your life to follow the path of your mission.

Keep on speaking terms even if it’s sometimes hard. Stay connected out of respect and feel free to live YOUR life and to contribute the world around in the best way to make yourself, the world around and for sure finally your parents as well the most happy.

Open the door and break the vicious circle. Only you can do that your way…

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com