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| Picture: 'Car' blessing by Fons in Santpoort - NL Thanks to Ron Pichell / RTV Seaport for the picture. |
I just got a message my oldest brother passed away.
This is not an “In Memoriam” as a form of remembrance
of somebody that left this world and who occasionally can or may be back in our
mind. It's a tribute. An ode and an active call. An encouragement to continue.
Only a remembrance is not at all enough for covering the value of his (ongoing) life.
My eldest brother Fons is the first born of our family
of father, mother and five children, and I am the last. Between him and me is a
thirteen year time difference. At least one generation maybe even two. For my parents it was an honor, out of their
and our Catholic background, that Fons was going to study to become a priest at
the monastery of the "Missionaries of the Sacred Heart" (MSC) in
Driehuis, The Netherlands. Eventually he decided not to become a priest and
after a few short wanderings, he actually became a kind of priest. He married,
became father of a family with two children and worked in various parishes in
the north-west part of The Netherlands as an inspirational deacon. For people
who do not know this word/profession, you can translate it the simplest way in
my eyes as ‘layman priest'. A person blessed/dedicated by a bishop to serve as
a helper in and for the church community.
To me, it is the experience that a so-called ‘clerical
collar’ is not always necessary to bring in depth, experience, hope and flow.
Fons did this on his own creative, humorous (see picture) and sometimes a bit
progressive way. Standing, rooted and with lots of experience, as a shepherd in
the middle of his flock, the community. The present Pope Francis, I think,
would be proud and inspired by his way of serving and sharing. He brought
motion in and to people. He inspired people.
Do not pray for peace! Only one out of many of his
phrases and speeches during a preaching with Christmas, from a whole lot, that
woke up people Shaking them awake with
the intention of bringing them into balance again).
And if you only think about that sentence, that
statement, isn’t that a kind of inner wake-up call?
What a waste of time and effort to pray for peace.
Even at the time Christ was born there was no peace in the world. Has there
ever been peace in the world? And is that because of the world? And do you
think there will ever be peace? No peace is lasting. There is a tendency to
pray for peace so you can push peace a bit away because yes it’s a good thing
but you might think you are not able to help make it happen. You do not see any
solution anymore. It is out of your hands… So by praying you pass your wish,
your efforts, onto somebody else. Somebody that is bigger, some power that is
much stronger, in the hope it might be possible for him/her. That ‘God’. Aren’t
you fooling yourself in a gigantic way? Isn’t this an easy way. To give peace
away? Pray for peace? Stop it! Fiddle sticks.
People, mere human beings, make a mess of it. And
praying to no longer have those ruins no longer will not help. People are
different, cultures are different, religions are different (even though they
actually are basically all the same), and because things do not fit in our
thinking, our behavior, our ‘own street’, there is no peace. It’s not even
possible. Praying for it or not.
Stop with the energy and time to pray for it. Just
start yourself. The first thing to understand is that you are "only"
human. And human beings make mistakes. Nothing wrong with it. You probably
learn from it and that process we call living. One of the things in life that
is certain is that you do not live alone. There are men and women around you.
And those are all human beings so they also can make mistakes. And if the
things they do are really wrong or not ... that has everything to do with your
opinion and your perception. With your judging. Things make you upset? You only
can make yourself upset. No, no other people. It's all about your programming
from the past that causes your personal reflections. and thus personal
disturbances, anger, greed, hate, jealousy, anxiety. Do you intend to make
mistakes? Do others have the intention to make mistakes to bring you into
trouble?
It’s all up to you. You are in charge. Just go ahead.
First, live that peace yourself. Show. Share. Be real. Don’t go for praying,
just focus on doing. First, face and tackle that war within yourself instead of seeking solutions in the
outside world and blaming others. And yes, that can be challenging or maybe
even more confrontational and yet you are doing a good job. Much better than
praying.
And besides, out of my more than five years' stay in
Thailand, this is a very valuable Buddhist approach as well.
Fons is different, Fons goes on. So much he planted
and did sow. He brought too many people in motion and nobody will ever be able
to stop that ongoing process. And with that he made and, beware, he still makes
LIFE become a bit more beautiful. Because others will go on with that as part
of their lives. With those insights and with that inspiration. And they bring
it into the world at their own way.
He once studied at the monastery and gymnasium of the Missionaries
of the Sacred Heart. He did not have to learn to become a missionary. He
already was. That mission, that passion, being there for others with a message,
is his life and although there is no movement any longer in that physical cover
only showing my brother on the outside, HE does not say goodbye.
In fact, it's just a start. An invitation. A beginning
to hear that call; "Do not pray! Get started! Put into practice! "
And yes, these are my own words.
An active call an encouragement. No need for any
reminder, remembrance or “In Memoriam”. The seed that is sown or plant that is
planted just need some water, temperature and air (action) and occasionally
some sun. Do not wait. You always can create the right season…
And so he goes on with that. In Memoriam? No, not at
all for my brother. His life was too valuable for that. People who know him and
had to deal with him do not know what I mean. They just feel it and continue
with him, just like me!
And that's why I do not feel his death as a farewell or goodbye. Much more, it is a feeling of getting the opportunity to let go in full trust that he is deeply rooted in me and I will easily continue my life with him always beside me and partly in me.
And that's why I do not feel his death as a farewell or goodbye. Much more, it is a feeling of getting the opportunity to let go in full trust that he is deeply rooted in me and I will easily continue my life with him always beside me and partly in me.
Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight
Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.”
My condolences on his death....
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