Are you afraid to die?

At the end of last October, after my first early morning class, a Chinese woman came to me. She asked if she could ask me a very personal question. Of course! It made me curious.

"Frans, are you afraid to die?"

Well, to be honest, it woke me up even more. Spontaneously, as if I was prepared for the question, I gave the answer. "No, not at all. About the way I will die and in how things are going to happen is something different for me. And because I do not know when I will die, I am not going to worry or suffer about this now."

I actually had not spoken those sentences, which came straight from my heart (or soul), when I started to think about how I could actually give this answer. Yes, it's true to me and why did I, without even thinking about it, spontaneously give this answer?

And in fact, the answers to why giving that response came to me over the days after expressing it and brought me a lot of clarity.

No, I do not want to think or worry about how to meet that - besides most normal thing connected with life -, death. For me it feels a kind of wasting time now to worry about that. So a disturbance and waste of time to live and enjoy life. It will be as it comes and is already waiting for me. I guess it will come exactly at the, so far for me unknown, right time.

But not being afraid to die... That's something else ... though ...?

Thinking more and more about that question and that answer afterwards, the spontaneous idea arrived in me that I actually will not die at all. That has always been my idea and from my experience here in Thailand and my connection with Buddhism, it has become even stronger. Not even I believe this any longer, it’s deepened into trust.

There must have been lots of love for me before I was even born and before I ever realized I can give love myself in return.

Think about this; I ‘just’ got my wonderful parents. I did not ask for this inspiring managers in my life I just got them. They brought, out of love, life force energy in me. The air to breathe and live. I have not chosen the place where I was born but only got it. I got my environment to grow up. I got my dearest - and still living in me and working with me - spiritual guide whose name I carry. I got the wonderful people (and sometimes only in my eyes some less wonderful) around me to help me to grow and to develop to the person I am. I got two good legs, two arms, two eyes, a complete healthy good functioning body. I got feeling and the possibility to connect and to give love back in return.  

I think all out of a very special kind of love. As a request to live my purpose and an assignment to make good use of this all because there is something specific for me in this world to do. Like there is for every human being because every person is unique.

I did not ask for it, I got it all out of a very special love (that's at least my full conviction). And that's something, to me that is divine. And I am very grateful and thankful for that.

So I can ask myself the question; what is there of me to give back? And is living "only" something temporary?

To me, death is about the farewell of only the temporary temple, the body I may use, that is the short-term home for this life time to the soul. That wheelbarrow available to help me to learn, to grow, to build up wisdom and to share. At a certain moment this temporary home cannot serve me any longer. How beautiful it is (just at the right time) you can say goodbye to it. And I know sometimes this can feel very sad and in our (human) way of thinking not fair. Still I am not and will not be the one who is in control of this ‘right’ moment. At that moment it's a soulless body. Very often, I have seen soulless bodies in my previous career within the fire department. You do not need to be an expert to see and feel right away that the soul, that sparkling force, that life force energy, suddenly disappeared. Is free again…

In Physics there is a basic law. Energy will never be lost.

So I'm free again to take new steps forward in further growth, in developing myself... I want and trust to go on with that so… I will never die.

It's just how you look at things and not what you believe but what you much more than 100% trust ...

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

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