The huge influence of parents and teachers in your life

Recently I read again in the book "The Pocket, Thich Nhat Hanh". I opened it up with his lesson about inferiority.

Every child is born open and uninhibited to learn. And from that birth on, the "un-learning" process and giving direction of culture, habits, opinions, often also faith and so on, begin.

Where do you learn to be a good parent? Certainly, there are books about it. Whether you actually learn from it? Who has the real right knowledge to share? And ... what's ‘good’ for you? Most of the time it is a copy, or consciously trying not to copy, of what you have received in your own youth. Or rather pass on what you liked about it and sometimes even pass on the allergy to what you didn't like.

For the sake of convenience (?), let's assume that all parents' intentions to raise children are good. You want the best and perhaps even better for your children. The same applies ‘for the same convenience’ to teachers (or at least it should be in my experience). You want to share and transfer knowledge to bring others further in their life development. And by teachers, I mean the people who actually practice this responsible profession and also the "teachers" who are your examples or idols in your life.

Thich Nhat Hanh writes: "The ground of a child’s consciousness is still very young, still very fresh."

And with that youthfulness and freshness also very susceptible.

During many encounters with guests here during my work in Thailand, meetings with people from many different cultures, I experienced what an enormous effect negative and decreasing talks and speeches from parents and teachers in the young years of these people had had. Developing feelings of inferiority. Those words of criticism, often in anger or out of irritation in situations of stress and sometimes unfortunately also intentionally said, were the seeds for growing their inferiority complex.

And strangely enough, if you went back in their stories during these meetings, you would end up in a sort of vicious circle. From a form of allergy to what once was said or done about them, the germ was ready to pass on to their children.

And I have also said something negative to my kids in a mood of anger. You also educate in my experience, even though your intention is great, with trial and error and making mistakes (and seeing them) is part of it. Fortunately, that could always be corrected later.

Raising and/or teaching children. A very responsible task.

One thing is certain for me. Every person is unique and different and has no less, but more value. It depends on the perspective of looking at it. And that uniqueness is expressed in talents that should be encouraged, regardless of culture, religion or group. That is different from addressing children in a destructive way to what you do not like.

Who knows, it helps to break through those negative vicious circles step by step.

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)
email: captijninsight@gmail.com 

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Captijn Insight. Catalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.