Wanted and unwanted speedbumps in your life. Adjusters of priorities.

In a short time, I have heard several stories of friends / acquaintances that unfortunately they were forced to make huge transitions in life. This for example because they themselves or their partner suddenly were confronted with cancer. You take for granted this always happens to others. Until you have to face these things happen to yourself or to your close love ones as well. Unwanted you run up against a speedbump in your life.

Everything first seemed so perfect. Now this kind of experiences put your life upside down. Perhaps you would like to hide yourself from the outside world. Your life turns into a crisis. You seem surrounded by fear, which brings you face to face with what the values of life really mean to you. Maybe even you entered a process to make a huge shift in life. Actually and most of the times to the direction or flow it always was mend to be for you. So to come back on your personal life-track.

Recently I worked with a guest who runs her life. No matter how young you are, time is running out so you have to focus on living life the fullest. You do everything that’s possible, because you only live once. So you run life. You mirror the happiness appearances of life from others, and run to try to reach at least the same happiness level. Slightly and soft only touching life experiences as a butterfly. No time to explore or live things deeply. Depression and insomnia increased in combination with an almost continuous connection to social media. An overkill of too much impulses simply can (and finally will) make you sick.

Wanted, she took some “me-time”. Time for a time-out. To do a retreat program. Not willing any longer to wait for the time, she would be forced (unwanted) to take a time-out. A time out to contemplate on life themes and things, to make up her life balance, and to face her priorities in life once again. A suicide by one of her friends with a happy family with two young children during her retreat was a stupor of disbelief.

As strange at first sight as it may sound, many experiences show that this type of wanted and unwanted speedbumps of life often contain incredibly valuable lessons. It brings you to the deeper meaning of life, to your core values of life. To connect with the one you really are. Not the one who usually step by step is formed by wishes, desires, environmental judgments, expectations, marketing, etc..

These processes can be seen as steep (but if you look back afterwards often very meaningful) exercise slopes that bring your back to the person you actually always were.

We all have different values based on our perception of satisfaction and happiness. If you believe that people only love you when you are financially wealthy, money is your main value. If your self-esteem is connected to your appearance (something in my opinion in the Thai culture for ladies is number one), your face and figure maybe the top priority.

And if you the physical body is getting and starting to look older…, does your happiness disappear? And if you seemingly cannot compete with the ‘happiness level’ of your friends or acquaintances, will you feel miserable?

Life challenges you to constantly adjust your priorities. For example, the decision to make health one of your priorities can be a reversal. Perhaps a whole new world will open for you. The discovery of a huge reservoir of inner strength and joy. The discovery that the real person hiding in you, finally gets the possibility to make yourself and others truly happy.

If your view of yourself is based on superficialities, perhaps you need to face your priority list over once again and make some major changes.

Recently a speed bump appeared in the small street in front of my house (see photo). It invites guests who come by in their golf cart to slow down and be more aware of the wonders of our magnificent place. Some guests who walk through our street, sometimes painfully, are remembered to focus on the art of balanced walking instead of keeping their focus on their mobile devices.

Invite yourself, before it's too late, for whatever kind of wanted ‘deliberate speedbump’ process to reconnect with your core of life, adjust priorities to connect with real living and staying in a healthy holistic balance. 

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com