Friday, December 8, 2017

Don't expect less. Be happy to face you are different.

Last week I had a chat on Skype with my daughter in Australia. She had a sad experience in relation to her expectations. Still over and over again I have the same experiences (and my son as well). Feeling a bit sad about expectations not come true.

For over five years already in my house I have a sign (actually the only one because I do not like this ‘tile wisdom quotes’) on the mirrors in both my bathrooms. The one shown on the picture of this blog. The way to understand this ‘simple’ rules is less simple than they simple are.

Many times I get requests about the programs I offer in relation to flow, talents, purpose of live, transitions in live, personal development, and so on. People share a part of their life story and this stories resonate with me. I feel I can be available for them to work on their personal discoveries. Lots of times a couple of week interaction by mail and even Skype.
Believe it or not. After this intense and engage contact in about 1/3 of the cases at a certain moment there is full and total silence from the other side. You hear nothing anymore. For me it has a lot to do with no respect, no politeness and… for myself learning.

More and more guests who visit us here ask me to take a picture with me. Many want to have a copy of my poems and classes. They promise you to send you the picture. 90% Never does do. You send them the requested information the same day. 75% Not even a thank you. And I can go on sharing this kind of experiences. Not only work related it has also to do with lot of ‘social media friends’.

People ask you to connect on for instance LinkedIn and show interest in you. The first step for me to know they show interest is that they do not just and only push the unfriendly automatic button: “Hi Frans, I'd like to join your LinkedIn network.”, but write you a short personal message (so they take a little bit time to connect) and ask you about your life. One of the things for me to see they really want to spend a bit time to interact again is if they finish the sentence or couple of sentences with writing their greeting and name full. Many times it shows for instance (in Dutch): Gr. P (as Greets Peter or have a nice day Peter). Less and less people really are interested and take the time to connect. The wonderful digital world.

So am I not satisfied with this kind of things (and more as I already wrote down)? Actually it has not to do with satisfaction. It has everything to do with expectations. And facing that, there is still for me a lot to learn.

The mirror of this ongoing experience is that I am different (not better). My parents showed me another way. For me a way of real interest (again only my view), willing to interact on a deeper level, respect and of ‘keep your promise’ so people can trust you. Normal in my life.

And writing this, what I have to learn is not to feel sad about things not working out in the way I expect or expected. I just need to learn to turn that emotion (bring my mind in another motion) into a feeling of being happy. Happy because in this faster and faster world of ‘me’, ‘me’, ‘me’ and ‘I’, ‘I’, ‘I’, in my opinion over and over I face the mirror…’Be happy you are different’.

Not a bad idea for me to turn the last simple statement ‘expect less’ into ‘Accept you are different and be happy with that’. For me a reason to share my energy more and more with people who respect and interact with my differentness. 

Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight“Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.” 

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