An experience and story about sight

A couple of weeks ago the sight of my right eye diminished. A strange experience. It felt as if some dust was floating on the surface of my eyeball but even with special cleaning fluid I got at a pharmacy I was not able to get a clear view. So the pharmacist advised me to visit a specialist at the hospital. So I did.

A very kind, young, eye specialist at our Lanna Hospital with a kind of special microscope examined my eyes to get the diagnosis I am suffering of Eye Ablatio Retinae. She told me this has everything to do with just getting older. Possibly an operation is needed if things are getting worse.

I got the same experience as a couple of months ago, waking up and not being able to walk for a couple of hours.

When your sight is ok, you never worry about seeing. You are not even aware your eyes are always available for you to serve you in everything you do. Watching uses 70% of our so called ‘sense energy’. What about seeing?

There is a sense in that we are all born blind. Minutes after our birth our newly opened eyes see a variety of shapes, colors and surfaces. It’s only slowly that our seeing begins to recognize our mother and father, our bed, strangers, color. It takes time to really see shapes and surfaces, objects, relationships and meanings. And seeing objects, our mind starts to create a kind of inner seeing in our consciousness. Visualization and even a support to imagination. We start to create our ‘own’ world, our own truth (most of the time not even aware that this only is part of a much bigger truth) and start suffering …

Having good and healthy eyes still many times we are ‘blind’. We cannot see beyond the surface. We do not like what we see. Why are we so afraid; what is it that we are afraid of?

Perhaps we are frightened and threatened by a world beyond our understanding, a world that we cannot control. Possibly we are afraid of a new world that invites us to let go of our fears and see wonder and amazement. If we skip our ‘blindness’, being more engaged with the art of looking deeply, we can see below and beyond the surface. Unafraid of what we cannot understand or control. Curious to learn of the visible so far invisible things. There is much more available for us than we think.

Maybe, being more aware of - and grateful for - the opportunity of seeing we have, we need to open our eyes to the wonders that are all around us. To quote a well-known rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel: “Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement. ....get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.” Amazement - rather than doubt – is the root of all knowledge, understanding and (inner) wisdom. Also about yourself ...

My disturbance because of my age of my sight opened my eyes even more to look deeply. To be more aware of the gift of seeing and the possibility I got to see beyond the surface of the world around me. It’s just a choice to take the time to be aware of living.

Maybe an invitation, because yes we run out of time, to open our eyes and hearts to the amazement, and the wonders that constantly surround us. 

Frans Captijn

Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight

Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or an organization.” 

www.captijninsight.com

captijninsight@gmail.com