A
few weeks ago I met a Chinese colleague. By chance we met each other when she
followed a health program at our resort.
She
told me about various experiences with her guests in China and soon we came to
the turnaround that both of us made in life. Both actually around six years
ago. My one-sided accident driving through a tunnel made me stop. For her it
was a conscious choice because she did not get enough satisfaction in her job caused
by a lack of full flow of her talents.
We stopped.
In fact, we had never really experienced that stopping. Always on the move to
the next goal, always focused on more to reach, both in personal life and with and
for our organizations. She once worked for a big Chinese company as HRM
director and now, like me, independently. And she also took the pen to write
books related to personal development and life flow, purpose and sources, like
I did.
That
topic , the art of stopping, became a very enjoyable subject for a dialogue. Deepening
and exploring. She indicated that there was a Chinese saying, actually it
worked out to be her own saying; "If you dare to stop, you make the
biggest step forward." It worked out to be her way of life. A sentence to
deepen and to ponder about a bit.
Stopping,
actually doing nothing, means much and much more than I ever thought. And still
I often have trouble with stopping. Just to 'drop', to leave everything you're
up to. Well, people who know me a little bit, know that's nothing for me, Now I
can say that it was nothing for me.
Always busy. Multi-tasking. Actually, it gave me a fantastic opportunity and way
to flee away for myself, as things showed up now. And even that experience you do
not get or understand when you're moving, not being at halt. And in this way
stopping is a lot doing…
You,
or better to say we, as also worked out during our chat about this topic, are
always looking for something outside ourselves. In our outside world. A
solution, a direction, an answer. We are trying to change the world around us so
it can help us to make progress – we only think – in moving on.
And
by focusing on the next goal, we are not even aware about so many solutions for
the things we are dealing with stored within. If you do not feel comfortable in
a situation you are in the real solutions cannot be found in the outside world.
They real answers and solutions are already stored in you. Ready and waiting to
be discovered, un-covered. And to give this process a chance you need to come
home to yourself first.
If
you dare to stop, you will find out that you first may have the (lot of times
uncomfortable) feeling that you are confronted with yourself. And isn’t that actually
a great challenge? You are the one that spend 24 hours with yourself. Getting
to know yourself better is a lot more a favor than a threat. Be sure at a certain
moment you will recognize this. Being always busy. Always moving and alert on
what’s happening in the outside world. You leave too many chances and
opportunities ready for gathering.
Stopping.
Just to hangout as a kind of "hermit" is a foundation for creating
inner wisdom. Listening to the resonation of your own bell being the clapper
yourself. No study or school needed. Simply isolate yourself for a short while to
listen to yourself. How am I doing? Why do I do this? What is the cause I'm
suffering from this effect? Do others experience the same? Why and why not?
What is over and over again disturbing me? Has this to do with my programming?
Is it still necessary to interrupt me any longer? Am I not too short-sighted?
Does the other or others really have the intention to hurt me or us? Am I
curious enough? And many more other questions you can ask yourself just by contemplating.
Stopping
will prove to be your greatest step forward in creativity, solutions,
anticipating instead of responding, rest, resilience and in health.
Stopping, as my guests show me more and more, is taking steps forward. Nothing selfish. It's not necessary to move on all the time...
Stopping, as my guests show me more and more, is taking steps forward. Nothing selfish. It's not necessary to move on all the time...
Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight
Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.”
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