A short while ago I worked with a
Shanghai guest. In full pride he told me about all the trophy’s he already got and
what he already had achieved in life. He was honest, he also had to face a few huge
disappointments in his life so far. A few times, he did not win the first prize
in relation to his work. Actually, that was very unfair and possibly the jury
was influenced. His friends made him believe out of their knowledge and
connection his work was much better than the winner...
Success stories, accomplished
goals, drive to more and better. He was well-known and on his way to become famous.
Something in which I also once believed. To say it right, not so much on my way
to become famous but still... many people knew me and were my
"friend" on the social media. My name was in the (Dutch) newspapers
and sometimes even on television.
It’s so nice to discover many of
our guests do not even know where to find The Netherlands on the world map.
They had never heard of me before. And I still know and meet even more people
who (only think) they are famous, sometimes even a celebrity. And I never heard
about them before. This all made me clear that it is all and only satisfying
the image you only create in your mind. Nothing 'VIPs'. Wake up, go to the
toilet, take a shower and discover you are not so ‘important’ at all. You play
a game with yourself. Consuming lots of energy and being more and more in the
role of actor in your life.
What triggered me in my guest's
story was that he did not even literally hold the next trophy or he was already
trying to get the next one, showing he reached the next higher level.
He literally lived the Chinese quote:
"There's always more to achieve, there's always better to get." Or he
actually understood the two sides of the same medal…? This was an insight he
got when he started to work on himself here.
The saying gives you for example
the understanding; There is always a more beautiful and/or more loving and
caring woman, and always a more beautiful and/or more loving and caring man.
" There is always a higher place to reach in society, a higher position, a
higher status, just always more to reach. And even if you reach the highest
place ... it's all only temporary. The Olympic Games for example shows it.
Every other four years human beings ‘beat’ the ‘old’ speed, height, winner(s). We
stress ourselves up, make ourselves sometimes even ill, trying to reach more.
It’s never enough. And our society, our culture, etc., supports this process.
Our hang to fame, for the outside
world visible more and more ongoing success, show, has a lot to do with the
self-satisfaction of our Ego. There is no end to it.
Is it wrong to chase goals? Not at
all. It has to do with our clinging on reaching goals. And because of that
clinging we are so focused that we do not enjoy available life the fullest. Know
that you can live without 'goals'. In many cases you live life much more
connected and intense.
Wanting to reach a goal you can see
as a driving force, a motivation. First of all a drive to satisfy your basic
needs, then to satisfy your ego, after that to work on your personal
development and growth and last but not least (and usually when you grow older)
in relation to what your life really is about, your purpose (we also call it
spiritual).
And although self-satisfaction of
the Ego is also a very natural process, a driving force, you can get out of
balance. It can make you sick. Exhaustion, burn-out.
There is always more to reach,
there is always better, there is always more beautiful, there is always a
higher level of ‘loveable’.
And do you also enjoy living life,
enjoy being with yourself? Being thankful and grateful of the (most of the time
more than enough) ‘things’ you have in life? Do you celebrate life? Do you
really live life or changing endlessly the finish line of goals to reach
further away? You will never come ‘home’.
Nothing is exhausting more in
sports than to put the finish line (your goal to reach) further away during for instance your running. It’s like changing the rules during the game. And this
is what you do to yourself. If you keep on focussing, keep on moving, from goal
to goal, you miss the experience of all the impressions everything that is
waiting for you during your trip. Your focus is on the goal and all the free
available values of life, nature, blue sky, air to breath, a playing child in a
small stream, the smile on the face of your love, his or her twinkling eyes
(mirrors of the soul), you do not even notice.
Ego satisfaction? Keep in mind that
it's an endless deep well in which your energy flows away. An energy drainer. And
after a short while, with all your trophies, who do still remember you, ‘honor’
you? Is still thankful for having you around(I speak a little bit out of my own
experience)?
Perhaps it's not even a crazy idea
to start to live life and give attention for yourself, to stay in (right)
balance, find and live the right lifestyle as well to keep a sustainable better
health. Good for you, good for the world around you.
There is always better, there is
always more, there is always more beautiful. Enjoy more the journey of living instead
of striving for more and more success (which you usually forget to celebrate).
Frans Captijn
Host / Catalyst / Talenteer at Captijn Insight
Captijn Insight: “Catalyst in your process to new sustainable flow in life, love, family, business, career and work. Whether you are an individual, couple, team or organization.”
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