Friday, June 22, 2018

What is the 'Power Bank' of your relationship?

Last week in my blog I shortly mentioned that what more and more people nowadays see as their best relationship, their I-phones or tablets, need energy, power. And it is more and more common people have so called ‘power banks’ to keep this ‘relationship’ running. In that blog I asked myself what actually is the ‘power-bank’ of human relationships?

Asking myself that question I planted a kind of seed in my mind to find answers on that question. Not that I am the specialist in that but who knows it can be interesting to share my thoughts and who knows it helps to get insights.

Just a couple of things that came up in my mind:
# Staying ‘All-one’.
Meaning this. All-one is different than alone or lonely. Self-love and attention is the basic key to being all-one. If you do not take care of yourself first how can you be there for 100% for the world around you? And I do not mean in a material way. Self-love has to do with being able to be the manager of your own life. In most cases you are not. Your thoughts are the master and you only follow.

All-one has to do with feeling in optimal and balanced condition of Mind, Emotions, your physical body, the connection with your environment of energy takers and energy givers (causal part) and spiritual (don’t mix that up with religion).

If your self-love is overflowing, you can share that overflowing love with the world around you. And if there is a love connection between partners this is a magnificent energy that is flowing. If there, for whatever reason, is no bond any longer, this does not say that you are out of balance because you always and still are all-one.

# Communication and understanding.
Communication is really an art. Mindful communication learns to listen in a curious way first without immediately judging. Very hard to do and you can learn. The art of communication has nothing to do with our mobile devices. It has everything to do with face-to-face conversation. Being really available for each other.
Understanding is another art. During a meeting for instance we think, if we are telling something in relation to the theme of the meeting, people are listening and trying to understand. Most of the time it is not true. They use the timeframe you are speaking to make up their own story to express immediately after you finished talking. The nice thing is they only think other people are listening so they can and will understand. This is not true. Only one or two ‘key words’ people hear are enough to start their thinking process to make their own story again. So what about listening? Most meetings are just wasting time…
Understanding is the willingness to open yourself to not only to take the time to listen to the story someone is telling. It is listening in the role of curious observer. And if judgmental thoughts come up you can use them as a mirror of your background of knowing only your truth as a part of the truth. Understanding has everything to do with showing respect to discover the bigger truth.

# Cultivating loving kindness
This has everything to do with your basic posture and life-style. For cultivating loving kindness you need to be connected with your heart and must be willing to open your heart to send and receive Metta. Connecting energy. Not being scared to be harmed and with the right intentions to connect and even to heal if necessary.

# Compassion
In compassion you do not take care of but you take care about without upsetting yourself. Actually you stay in the role of observer. Thich Nhat Hanh explains compassion is a verb. Being there to listen, to take care if needed (only showing that you are there / available instead of thinking and without asking starting to act because you think what the other person needs). Compassion is being sensitive and connected but without personal suffering. A doctor, as example, need to show compassion but he does not have to suffer with his patients. If the doctor suffers, he cannot help.

# Joy
If there is no joy in a relationship the relationship is dead. Joy of being together, of being playful and totally yourself and feeling accepted, of exploring each other deeper and deeper. Joy in being creative and happy with each other. A sensual and exciting discovery journey in challenging each other’s minds, hearts, souls and bodies. There is always more to learn and discover unless you let ‘laziness’ take over because what once was your soul mate is not interested anymore…

# Inclusiveness.
Unconditional accepting the other person the way he/she is with his/her whole programming, habits and acting. Not always an easy job I can tell.

Like the power banks for our mobile devices also the ‘powerbanks’ for relationships have many forms, features, connectivity, power requirements and prices…

Invest to find your ‘best product’ for the ‘best price’. You are (both) worth it.  

Gangey Gruma (Frans Captijn)

Captijn InsightCatalyst in developing tranquility & in-sight to get in a sustainable way real connection, purpose, pleasure and flow in life, love, family, business, career and work again.

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